Tips for Writing Fast-Paced Scenes

Tips for Writing Fast-Paced Scenes

[quote=Banespawn]Short sentences/paragraphs will read faster than longer ones. [/quote]

That’s what I always tell folks.

If you look at a lot of the bestsellers out there, and start counting words, you will find most have seven words or less per sentence!

OR

Take a look at the bestsellers. Count the words per sentence. Most have seven words or less.

Notice how one long sentence became three? But both gave the same advice. The first sentence was confusing to read. It slows the reader down. The second set was easier to digest. The reader could read it faster.

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You want fast pace? Try this: Dialog, Dialog, Dialog, BAM, Narrative, Dialog, Dialog, Dialog

Uh-huh, yep, that’s right. The fastest way to pick up the pace and speed up the action is to let your characters talk and talk and talk and talk. Not one character monologing his fool head off. Get four or five characters in the scene and have them speaking one sentence at a time, back and forth.

[quote=Genuine]I swear I could write straight dialogue for hours, but here’s what my writing looks like. I have lots of dialogue, and giant paragraphs here or there. It’s the talking head syndrome. And it is not good when my characters feel like they’re talking inside a Giant White Room of Nothingness! Here’s an example

The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing. The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing. The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing. The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing. The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing. The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing.

Person1: Blah, blah, bler, fleeble

Person2: BLAH? Dooble!

Person1: Dooble, dooble, dooble.

Person2: Tubbyblubby flur

Person1: Fla, fla, flah

Person1: Blah, blah, bler, fleeble

Person2: BLAH? Dooble!

Person1: Dooble, dooble, dooble.

Person2: Tubbyblubby flur

Person1: Fla, fla, flah

The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing. The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing. The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing. The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing. The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing. The sun swept radiant rays of burblebobble across the quaint scene of XYZ, and the clouds burst into fleecing.
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[/quote]

LOL! What a great post! It was like reading Keith Laumer’s Retief series!

Though I write short stories and novels as well, my main writing base is comics. I’m used to reading and writing comics. In other words I am used to write straight dialog, and nothing but dialog. I can write dialog for hours on end. Have characters chatting away, verbalizing everything that they are seeing, hearing, doing, and thinking.

It’s all that straight up dialog that causes comic books to be such fast paced stories.

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[quote=Banespawn]Don’t stop to descibe things. Make the descriptions part of the action.[/quote]

Yep. I say this all the time too.

You could say:

He walked past the tree.

I’d say:

He walked past the willow tree.

I only added one little word. That’s it. But it changed the whole picture in the readers head. Nothing big. Just little things. Of course I could also say:

He walked past the giant, green, weeping willow tree were Billy carved his name way back in 2056.

But that is just too long and wordy, and adds details that do not move the story forward.

Keep it short, keep it simple, keep it familiar, let the reader interpret the minor details themselves, and you’ll write a book that’s easy to read and seems familar to your readers, even if it’s a fictional world lightyears from the earth.

I sit here thinking about the beautiful purple sunsets sending rays of light across the green grassy hills and listening to the sound of pretty blue feathered song birds as they sing their songs of . . . YAWN . . . .

So when is the story going to start? Or when are we going to get back to the characters? Or, you know, when are we going to do something, ANYTHING? A few phrases of flowery descriptions scattered in here and there between dialog is fine, but when you start writing page after page after page of descriptions, I start falling asleep.

There should be dialog on every page. More than 50% (maybe even 75%) of your book should be dialog.(Ask any editor or publisher what makes a bestseller a best seller and they’ll tell you it’s all about the dialog). The remaining should be largely action.

You can tell me that on your planet the trees are blue, but don’t tell me the entire biology lesson on the hows and why of the tree being blue. So it’s blue. That great! Now get on with the action. What else is the character doing besides noticing that the trees are blue? Is there someone hiding behind the blue tree? Why did the character tell me the tree was blue? Why purpose does the blue tree have in your plot? I’m not a botanist, I don’t need to know what every plant on your planet looks like and why it looks that way – all I care about is what your MC is doing.

Less prose – more action.

Less prose – more dialog.

Give me a fast read, don’t slow me down with flowery purple prose.

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But than: What about fight scenes? you ask. Well, what about them? Have you ever seen a REAL fight? A real fight only lasts a few seconds. You’d be hard pressed to find a real fight that lasted longer than 30 seconds. What you see in the movies? That’s just for effect. A real fight is never anything like what you see in the movies.

A punch. A whack. A quick shuffle in the mud. And than it’s over.

I figure it should take the reader no more than 5 seconds to read the fight. Thus my fight scenes tend to be quick and short. Heck, you just read one of them!

What about epic battles for fantasy or military fiction? Regardless of how many people are fighting, (even if it’s a big battle) I pick out only two fighters, and focus on them. I describe the actual action between the two fighters, focusing more on the inner emotional responce of the one that is loseing, (even if they are not a MC) thus makeing the winning fighter seem much more feirce. Usually I focus more on the pain from the blow, than the actual blow itself.

Generally my fight scenes are less than three paragraphs long. I use short sentences (most less than seven words each, often only 2 words each). I use simple small words. I let it flow past the reader quickly, giving them the illusion that they are being pulled through the action at the same break neck speed in which the action takes place.

[quote=Esteleth]
They could hear the evidence of a struggle downstairs: shuffling then running footfalls, a chase, a muffled scream, the pushing around of furniture, the breaking of a vase, thuds, curses, their mother’s voice rising up in a shrill teary scream…[/quote]

Actually, this would read faster if you had done this:

They could hear the struggle downstairs. The shuffling. The footfalls. The chase. A muffled scream. The furniture pushed aside. A vase breaking.

THUD!

CRASH!

Some one cursed.

Their mother’s voice rose up. A shrill scream . . .

Long run on sentences always slow the readers down. Every time you put a comma some where, go back and see if you can change in into a period.

Also, you are using way to many prepositions. In an action scene the fewer prepositions, the better. None is best. Prepositions slow the pace. Cut them out whenever possible.

Take this writer’s advice to heart:
[quote=havocfett]Write short. Write Choppy. Write dynamic. Don’t stay on one thing. Move quickly through the scene.[/quote]

Short and choppy wins the race when it comes to action and fast pace. Don’t be afraid of fragments. Forget your English teacher. Fragments are your friend. Slice and dice every run on sentence. Turn as many comas as possible into periods.

But remember – only do this for you fast paced action scenes. You don’t want a book of nothing but short and choppy! Your descriptions scenes should have longer sentences, that tire your reader out and make them want to stop and take a deep breath. (But not so many that you put them to sleep!)

You want to mix it up and keep things interesting. Like a roller coaster, your plot should have slow moving ups, and fast moving downs, back and forth through out the entire book.

[quote=wynnie.the.poooh]
3. If it’s a killing spree, kill people. Mention them, their side in the battle and then BLAM!
4. Use a lot of action sounds. BLAM! makes you think of a firing gun. SPLAT! makes you think of something hitting the ground. With a splat. This is actually a phenomenon (the use of words as nouns that sound like the sound they are naming).[/quote]

BLAM! SPLAT! SOCK! PUNCH!

Holy Rusted Drain Pipes, Batman, it’s the Penguin!

BAM! THUD! SQUISH! BOOM!

Great Scott, Batman! You got him!

Yep, take a cue from Batman – Single word action sentences will move your story along much faster than 10 pages of description ever could!

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And here’s something that I don’t see any one mentioning yet, but when you start preaching and lecturing and pushing a cause, it really slows down your pace a lot. The last thing any author wants to hear from their readers is: I’m Not Stupid – Don’t Talk Down To Me and Preach at Me!

In other words:

Don’t waste an entire chapter telling me why lions live in Africa and Tigers live in China. If I wanted to know that, I’d have looked for it on Wikipedia.

Don’t spend 3 pages telling me the symptoms of cancer. Tell me your MC has cancer and move on to how she deals with it. If I want to know the symptoms and details of treatment, I’ll read a medical journal.

Okay, so maybe I don’t know where Yorkshireville Town is. If I want to know, I’ll look it up on Google Earth, I don’t need you to give detailed directions. I’m not planning on a trip there, I just want to read your novel.

Remember that you are writing a story not a dictionary. You are writing a story not a medical journal. You are writing a story not a travel guide. You are writing a story. Stop explaining every thing to me and just tell the story! Don’t act like I’m a retard and stop the story to explain everything. I’m smarter than you think. I know what you mean, and if I don’t know, I know how to look it up and find out for myself. Just stick with the story and nothing but the story. Stop talking down to me like I’m a little kid who don’t know nothing!

You got a chip on your shoulder? You got a cause to promote? You got an issue to protest? You want to save my soul from hell by getting me to join your church? Write a pamphlet and hand it out on the streets – build a web site – start a blog – do something to tell people about it, but don’t take it out on me your reader! Sure, maybe I will agree with you, maybe I’ll want to support your cause too, but there is a right way and a wrong way to get supporters, and strategically lacing your novel with preaching and lectures is the WRONG way to do it! Just stick with the story and nothing but the story. Stop preaching to me like I’m the enemy!

By removing every thing from your writing that makes it sound like a dictionary, encyclopedia, or church manual, you will do wonders to speed up the pace.
All Hail Bela Lugosi!

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