RE: Why do you wear a rosary as a necklace?

An interesting question was asked of me today: “You wear a rosary as a necklace. Can you explain this?” It is not an easy thing to answer, but it does have a reason and a story behind it. You see, I am not Catholic. When people see me with a rosary, their first thought it that I must be Catholic. When they learn that I am not, they become puzzled over the fact that, why would a non-Catholic have a rosary?

Well, my wearing a rosary started many years ago, and actually, at the time, I did not know what a rosary was. I simply saw it as a very fancy necklace, and thus I wore it as such. Than one day, a former Catholic man walked up to me and said quite out of the blue: “You’re sacrilegious”.

I was puzzled by this, because I had no idea what he was talking about. I knew this guy, so I knew he was raised Catholic but had joined a different church later on. Anyways, I asked him why he had said that, and he pointed to the crucifix necklace that I wear (I own several and am almost always wearing one) and he said, “It’s sacrilegious to wear that”.

Still puzzled I asked why, and he said “Because it’s a rosary not a piece of jewelry! It’s disrespectful!” A rosary? This was new. I had never heard of a rosary before so I had no idea what he was talking about. It was the first time I was made aware that this was anything other than a fancy necklace.

Well, now I’ll explain how I got started wearing them: You see, I was raised a Mormon. I’ve been a Mormon for 34 years. As a child, while I knew no one ever mentioned the cross, crucifixion, or resurrection, I didn’t know why. No one had ever bothered to tell me that crosses, crucifixes, and the resurrection were taboo topics in our church. I didn’t know that it was taboo to mention such things. So it never occurred to me that it was also forbidden to wear a cross in church, and thus what happened when I was a teenager, took me quite by surprise.

When I was going through what adults called my “Jesus Freak” phase, I bought a big cross necklace – big like 5 inches tall and made of pewter – and started wearing it everywhere. Later that week, I wore it to church. I was 14 years old, and our Young Women’s group was going to have our class pictures taken that afternoon. We all got ready, and were waiting for the camera flash, when our teacher said: “Wendy take that thing off!”

“What thing?” I didn’t know what she was talking about. She was using the word ‘thing’ which could have been anything. She was going to have to be more specific if she wanted me to take the ‘thing’ off, I would have to know what ‘thing’ she was referring to.

“That disgraceful thing around your neck”.

“What, the cross?” I asked.

“Yes, get that horrible thing out of here and never wear it to church again.”

“But it’s a cross? Jesus died on the cross.”

Every body went dead silent. I had said something wrong. I knew it. I just wasn’t sure what it was that I had said to cause every one to suddenly become as silent as a grave. The teacher flew into hysterics and went out the door, than came back a few moments later with the Bishop. The teacher, was still all hysterical screaming and yelling and pointing, as she told the Bishop, “She keeps saying that word!”

I do? What word? I was looking around hoping someone would give me a clue as to what I had said and why whatever I had said was causing our teacher to become so upset. No one was answering me though. They were all too shocked by the fact that I had dared say “that word” to tell me, what word it was.

I was baffled, as I was dragged off to the Bishop’s office where I spent the next hour being lectured on how “we don’t say cross” and “we don’t wear crosses” and “we can’t talk about the crucifixion because it’s a sad memory in Jesus life” and “we must remember his life not his death” and “we don’t talk about death” and “we don’t remember death” and “to wear a cross is to disrespect Jesus”. I was told, that under no conditions was I ever to wear a cross to church again. I was sent back to class, but because I refused to remove the cross, I was not allowed to be in that class picture nor any other class picture in the many years since than either.

Well, none of that sat well with me, so I made sure to never take that cross off. I wore it every day, and I made sure to wear it every Sunday to church. My young mind told me that they were the ones who were disrespecting Jesus, not me. I was just a kid, but I knew that I was not ashamed of Jesus and I wasn’t going to hide my faith in him.

I started collecting cross necklaces after that. I had every shape, color, and size you could think of. There were metal ones, plastic ones, gemstone, and wooden. You see, just a short distance from my house was this tiny little shop that is run by a monk and two nuns, and they sold mostly prayer cards, bibles, and crosses of various types. So, I access to a wide range of cross necklaces and I just started buying lots of them. Well, my favorite ones were the long colorful stings of beads that had a crucifix on them, and so I started collecting those, and wearing them. I did not know that only Catholics were supposed to own the. I did not know they were rosaries and even if I had, I would not have known you were not supposed to wear them like necklaces.

After that, I was dragged off to the Bishop’s office to be lectured, almost every Sunday. I rarely ever made it through an entire Sunday School Lesson before the Bishop would come in, find me wearing yet another cross, and drag me out to tell me all over again all the reason why crosses were forbidden. When I was 14, he said he was deeply troubled over the fact that I was so young and already so far down the road to apostasy. I was 16 when he official announced to the congregation that I was an apostate and had to be shunned. I was shunned for the next several years (about 12) – no one would say a word to me, no one would look at me, no one would shake hands with me, and when I walked down the hallway every one stepped to the side to avoid me. All because I wore a cross?

I remained in that church until I was 27. I stopped going, because of the depression the shunning has caused me. I’m still be shunned today, all these years late, so they are now nearing 25 years shunning me. It was after I was 27 that I had my encounter with the former Catholic man. So I was wearing rosaries for necklaces a good 15 years before I found out what a rosary was. Though I admit I still don’t fully understand the rosary, and while in his mind wearing one as jewelry is a sin, in my mind, wearing it is an outward sign that I stand for Jesus and am not willing to hide my faith in Jesus.

And so, today, I wear both crosses and crucifixes equally. That some of my necklaces are actually rosaries and not necklaces, well, that’s just the way it is.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
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http://eelkat.wordpress.com
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>RE: Why do you wear a rosary as a necklace?

>

An interesting question was asked of me today: “You wear a rosary as a necklace. Can you explain this?” It is not an easy thing to answer, but it does have a reason and a story behind it. You see, I am not Catholic. When people see me with a rosary, their first thought it that I must be Catholic. When they learn that I am not, they become puzzled over the fact that, why would a non-Catholic have a rosary?

Well, my wearing a rosary started many years ago, and actually, at the time, I did not know what a rosary was. I simply saw it as a very fancy necklace, and thus I wore it as such. Than one day, a former Catholic man walked up to me and said quite out of the blue: “You’re sacrilegious”.

I was puzzled by this, because I had no idea what he was talking about. I knew this guy, so I knew he was raised Catholic but had joined a different church later on. Anyways, I asked him why he had said that, and he pointed to the crucifix necklace that I wear (I own several and am almost always wearing one) and he said, “It’s sacrilegious to wear that”.

Still puzzled I asked why, and he said “Because it’s a rosary not a piece of jewelry! It’s disrespectful!” A rosary? This was new. I had never heard of a rosary before so I had no idea what he was talking about. It was the first time I was made aware that this was anything other than a fancy necklace.

Well, now I’ll explain how I got started wearing them: You see, I was raised a Mormon. I’ve been a Mormon for 34 years. As a child, while I knew no one ever mentioned the cross, crucifixion, or resurrection, I didn’t know why. No one had ever bothered to tell me that crosses, crucifixes, and the resurrection were taboo topics in our church. I didn’t know that it was taboo to mention such things. So it never occurred to me that it was also forbidden to wear a cross in church, and thus what happened when I was a teenager, took me quite by surprise.

When I was going through what adults called my “Jesus Freak” phase, I bought a big cross necklace – big like 5 inches tall and made of pewter – and started wearing it everywhere. Later that week, I wore it to church. I was 14 years old, and our Young Women’s group was going to have our class pictures taken that afternoon. We all got ready, and were waiting for the camera flash, when our teacher said: “Wendy take that thing off!”

“What thing?” I didn’t know what she was talking about. She was using the word ‘thing’ which could have been anything. She was going to have to be more specific if she wanted me to take the ‘thing’ off, I would have to know what ‘thing’ she was referring to.

“That disgraceful thing around your neck”.

“What, the cross?” I asked.

“Yes, get that horrible thing out of here and never wear it to church again.”

“But it’s a cross? Jesus died on the cross.”

Every body went dead silent. I had said something wrong. I knew it. I just wasn’t sure what it was that I had said to cause every one to suddenly become as silent as a grave. The teacher flew into hysterics and went out the door, than came back a few moments later with the Bishop. The teacher, was still all hysterical screaming and yelling and pointing, as she told the Bishop, “She keeps saying that word!”

I do? What word? I was looking around hoping someone would give me a clue as to what I had said and why whatever I had said was causing our teacher to become so upset. No one was answering me though. They were all too shocked by the fact that I had dared say “that word” to tell me, what word it was.

I was baffled, as I was dragged off to the Bishop’s office where I spent the next hour being lectured on how “we don’t say cross” and “we don’t wear crosses” and “we can’t talk about the crucifixion because it’s a sad memory in Jesus life” and “we must remember his life not his death” and “we don’t talk about death” and “we don’t remember death” and “to wear a cross is to disrespect Jesus”. I was told, that under no conditions was I ever to wear a cross to church again. I was sent back to class, but because I refused to remove the cross, I was not allowed to be in that class picture nor any other class picture in the many years since than either.

Well, none of that sat well with me, so I made sure to never take that cross off. I wore it every day, and I made sure to wear it every Sunday to church. My young mind told me that they were the ones who were disrespecting Jesus, not me. I was just a kid, but I knew that I was not ashamed of Jesus and I wasn’t going to hide my faith in him.

I started collecting cross necklaces after that. I had every shape, color, and size you could think of. There were metal ones, plastic ones, gemstone, and wooden. You see, just a short distance from my house was this tiny little shop that is run by a monk and two nuns, and they sold mostly prayer cards, bibles, and crosses of various types. So, I access to a wide range of cross necklaces and I just started buying lots of them. Well, my favorite ones were the long colorful stings of beads that had a crucifix on them, and so I started collecting those, and wearing them. I did not know that only Catholics were supposed to own the. I did not know they were rosaries and even if I had, I would not have known you were not supposed to wear them like necklaces.

After that, I was dragged off to the Bishop’s office to be lectured, almost every Sunday. I rarely ever made it through an entire Sunday School Lesson before the Bishop would come in, find me wearing yet another cross, and drag me out to tell me all over again all the reason why crosses were forbidden. When I was 14, he said he was deeply troubled over the fact that I was so young and already so far down the road to apostasy. I was 16 when he official announced to the congregation that I was an apostate and had to be shunned. I was shunned for the next several years (about 12) – no one would say a word to me, no one would look at me, no one would shake hands with me, and when I walked down the hallway every one stepped to the side to avoid me. All because I wore a cross?

I remained in that church until I was 27. I stopped going, because of the depression the shunning has caused me. I’m still be shunned today, all these years late, so they are now nearing 25 years shunning me. It was after I was 27 that I had my encounter with the former Catholic man. So I was wearing rosaries for necklaces a good 15 years before I found out what a rosary was. Though I admit I still don’t fully understand the rosary, and while in his mind wearing one as jewelry is a sin, in my mind, wearing it is an outward sign that I stand for Jesus and am not willing to hide my faith in Jesus.

And so, today, I wear both crosses and crucifixes equally. That some of my necklaces are actually rosaries and not necklaces, well, that’s just the way it is.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

Was asked today – “Why do you wear a cross? and why a rosary?”

An interesting question was asked of me today: “You wear a rosary as a necklace. Can you explain this?” It is not an easy thing to answer, but it does have a reason and a story behind it. You see, I am not Catholic. When people see me with a rosary, their first thought it that I must be Catholic. When they learn that I am not, they become puzzled over the fact that, why would a non-Catholic have a rosary?

Well, my wearing a rosary started many years ago, and actually, at the time, I did not know what a rosary was. I simply saw it as a very fancy necklace, and thus I wore it as such. Than one day, a former Catholic man walked up to me and said quite out of the blue: “You’re sacrilegious”.

I was puzzled by this, because I had no idea what he was talking about. I knew this guy, so I knew he was raised Catholic but had joined a different church later on. Anyways, I asked him why he had said that, and he pointed to the crucifix necklace that I wear (I own several and am almost always wearing one) and he said, “It’s sacrilegious to wear that”.

Still puzzled I asked why, and he said “Because it’s a rosary not a piece of jewelry! It’s disrespectful!” A rosary? This was new. I had never heard of a rosary before so I had no idea what he was talking about. It was the first time I was made aware that this was anything other than a fancy necklace.

Well, now I’ll explain how I got started wearing them: You see, I was raised a Mormon. I’ve been a Mormon for 34 years. As a child, while I knew no one ever mentioned the cross, crucifixion, or resurrection, I didn’t know why. No one had ever bothered to tell me that crosses, crucifixes, and the resurrection were taboo topics in our church. I didn’t know that it was taboo to mention such things. So it never occurred to me that it was also forbidden to wear a cross in church, and thus what happened when I was a teenager, took me quite by surprise.

When I was going through what adults called my “Jesus Freak” phase, I bought a big cross necklace – big like 5 inches tall and made of pewter – and started wearing it everywhere. Later that week, I wore it to church. I was 14 years old, and our Young Women’s group was going to have our class pictures taken that afternoon. We all got ready, and were waiting for the camera flash, when our teacher said: “Wendy take that thing off!”

“What thing?” I didn’t know what she was talking about. She was using the word ‘thing’ which could have been anything. She was going to have to be more specific if she wanted me to take the ‘thing’ off, I would have to know what ‘thing’ she was referring to.

“That disgraceful thing around your neck”.

“What, the cross?” I asked.

“Yes, get that horrible thing out of here and never wear it to church again.”

“But it’s a cross? Jesus died on the cross.”

Every body went dead silent. I had said something wrong. I knew it. I just wasn’t sure what it was that I had said to cause every one to suddenly become as silent as a grave. The teacher flew into hysterics and went out the door, than came back a few moments later with the Bishop. The teacher, was still all hysterical screaming and yelling and pointing, as she told the Bishop, “She keeps saying that word!”

I do? What word? I was looking around hoping someone would give me a clue as to what I had said and why whatever I had said was causing our teacher to become so upset. No one was answering me though. They were all too shocked by the fact that I had dared say “that word” to tell me, what word it was.

I was baffled, as I was dragged off to the Bishop’s office where I spent the next hour being lectured on how “we don’t say cross” and “we don’t wear crosses” and “we can’t talk about the crucifixion because it’s a sad memory in Jesus life” and “we must remember his life not his death” and “we don’t talk about death” and “we don’t remember death” and “to wear a cross is to disrespect Jesus”. I was told, that under no conditions was I ever to wear a cross to church again. I was sent back to class, but because I refused to remove the cross, I was not allowed to be in that class picture nor any other class picture in the many years since than either.

Well, none of that sat well with me, so I made sure to never take that cross off. I wore it every day, and I made sure to wear it every Sunday to church. My young mind told me that they were the ones who were disrespecting Jesus, not me. I was just a kid, but I knew that I was not ashamed of Jesus and I wasn’t going to hide my faith in him.

I started collecting cross necklaces after that. I had every shape, color, and size you could think of. There were metal ones, plastic ones, gemstone, and wooden. You see, just a short distance from my house was this tiny little shop that is run by a monk and two nuns, and they sold mostly prayer cards, bibles, and crosses of various types. So, I access to a wide range of cross necklaces and I just started buying lots of them. Well, my favorite ones were the long colorful stings of beads that had a crucifix on them, and so I started collecting those, and wearing them. I did not know that only Catholics were supposed to own the. I did not know they were rosaries and even if I had, I would not have known you were not supposed to wear them like necklaces.

After that, I was dragged off to the Bishop’s office to be lectured, almost every Sunday. I rarely ever made it through an entire Sunday School Lesson before the Bishop would come in, find me wearing yet another cross, and drag me out to tell me all over again all the reason why crosses were forbidden. When I was 14, he said he was deeply troubled over the fact that I was so young and already so far down the road to apostasy. I was 16 when he official announced to the congregation that I was an apostate and had to be shunned. I was shunned for the next several years (about 12) – no one would say a word to me, no one would look at me, no one would shake hands with me, and when I walked down the hallway every one stepped to the side to avoid me. All because I wore a cross?

I remained in that church until I was 27. I stopped going, because of the depression the shunning has caused me. I’m still be shunned today, all these years late, so they are now nearing 25 years shunning me. It was after I was 27 that I had my encounter with the former Catholic man. So I was wearing rosaries for necklaces a good 15 years before I found out what a rosary was. Though I admit I still don’t fully understand the rosary, and while in his mind wearing one as jewelry is a sin, in my mind, wearing it is an outward sign that I stand for Jesus and am not willing to hide my faith in Jesus.

And so, today, I wear both crosses and crucifixes equally. That some of my necklaces are actually rosaries and not necklaces, well, that’s just the way it is.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

Was asked today – "Why do you wear a cross? and why a rosary?"

An interesting question was asked of me today: “You wear a rosary as a necklace. Can you explain this?” It is not an easy thing to answer, but it does have a reason and a story behind it. You see, I am not Catholic. When people see me with a rosary, their first thought it that I must be Catholic. When they learn that I am not, they become puzzled over the fact that, why would a non-Catholic have a rosary?

Well, my wearing a rosary started many years ago, and actually, at the time, I did not know what a rosary was. I simply saw it as a very fancy necklace, and thus I wore it as such. Than one day, a former Catholic man walked up to me and said quite out of the blue: “You’re sacrilegious”.

I was puzzled by this, because I had no idea what he was talking about. I knew this guy, so I knew he was raised Catholic but had joined a different church later on. Anyways, I asked him why he had said that, and he pointed to the crucifix necklace that I wear (I own several and am almost always wearing one) and he said, “It’s sacrilegious to wear that”.

Still puzzled I asked why, and he said “Because it’s a rosary not a piece of jewelry! It’s disrespectful!” A rosary? This was new. I had never heard of a rosary before so I had no idea what he was talking about. It was the first time I was made aware that this was anything other than a fancy necklace.

Well, now I’ll explain how I got started wearing them: You see, I was raised a Mormon. I’ve been a Mormon for 34 years. As a child, while I knew no one ever mentioned the cross, crucifixion, or resurrection, I didn’t know why. No one had ever bothered to tell me that crosses, crucifixes, and the resurrection were taboo topics in our church. I didn’t know that it was taboo to mention such things. So it never occurred to me that it was also forbidden to wear a cross in church, and thus what happened when I was a teenager, took me quite by surprise.

When I was going through what adults called my “Jesus Freak” phase, I bought a big cross necklace – big like 5 inches tall and made of pewter – and started wearing it everywhere. Later that week, I wore it to church. I was 14 years old, and our Young Women’s group was going to have our class pictures taken that afternoon. We all got ready, and were waiting for the camera flash, when our teacher said: “Wendy take that thing off!”

“What thing?” I didn’t know what she was talking about. She was using the word ‘thing’ which could have been anything. She was going to have to be more specific if she wanted me to take the ‘thing’ off, I would have to know what ‘thing’ she was referring to.

“That disgraceful thing around your neck”.

“What, the cross?” I asked.

“Yes, get that horrible thing out of here and never wear it to church again.”

“But it’s a cross? Jesus died on the cross.”

Every body went dead silent. I had said something wrong. I knew it. I just wasn’t sure what it was that I had said to cause every one to suddenly become as silent as a grave. The teacher flew into hysterics and went out the door, than came back a few moments later with the Bishop. The teacher, was still all hysterical screaming and yelling and pointing, as she told the Bishop, “She keeps saying that word!”

I do? What word? I was looking around hoping someone would give me a clue as to what I had said and why whatever I had said was causing our teacher to become so upset. No one was answering me though. They were all too shocked by the fact that I had dared say “that word” to tell me, what word it was.

I was baffled, as I was dragged off to the Bishop’s office where I spent the next hour being lectured on how “we don’t say cross” and “we don’t wear crosses” and “we can’t talk about the crucifixion because it’s a sad memory in Jesus life” and “we must remember his life not his death” and “we don’t talk about death” and “we don’t remember death” and “to wear a cross is to disrespect Jesus”. I was told, that under no conditions was I ever to wear a cross to church again. I was sent back to class, but because I refused to remove the cross, I was not allowed to be in that class picture nor any other class picture in the many years since than either.

Well, none of that sat well with me, so I made sure to never take that cross off. I wore it every day, and I made sure to wear it every Sunday to church. My young mind told me that they were the ones who were disrespecting Jesus, not me. I was just a kid, but I knew that I was not ashamed of Jesus and I wasn’t going to hide my faith in him.

I started collecting cross necklaces after that. I had every shape, color, and size you could think of. There were metal ones, plastic ones, gemstone, and wooden. You see, just a short distance from my house was this tiny little shop that is run by a monk and two nuns, and they sold mostly prayer cards, bibles, and crosses of various types. So, I access to a wide range of cross necklaces and I just started buying lots of them. Well, my favorite ones were the long colorful stings of beads that had a crucifix on them, and so I started collecting those, and wearing them. I did not know that only Catholics were supposed to own the. I did not know they were rosaries and even if I had, I would not have known you were not supposed to wear them like necklaces.

After that, I was dragged off to the Bishop’s office to be lectured, almost every Sunday. I rarely ever made it through an entire Sunday School Lesson before the Bishop would come in, find me wearing yet another cross, and drag me out to tell me all over again all the reason why crosses were forbidden. When I was 14, he said he was deeply troubled over the fact that I was so young and already so far down the road to apostasy. I was 16 when he official announced to the congregation that I was an apostate and had to be shunned. I was shunned for the next several years (about 12) – no one would say a word to me, no one would look at me, no one would shake hands with me, and when I walked down the hallway every one stepped to the side to avoid me. All because I wore a cross?

I remained in that church until I was 27. I stopped going, because of the depression the shunning has caused me. I’m still be shunned today, all these years late, so they are now nearing 25 years shunning me. It was after I was 27 that I had my encounter with the former Catholic man. So I was wearing rosaries for necklaces a good 15 years before I found out what a rosary was. Though I admit I still don’t fully understand the rosary, and while in his mind wearing one as jewelry is a sin, in my mind, wearing it is an outward sign that I stand for Jesus and am not willing to hide my faith in Jesus.

And so, today, I wear both crosses and crucifixes equally. That some of my necklaces are actually rosaries and not necklaces, well, that’s just the way it is.

Due to the resent rise (yet again) of the demon possession and witchcraft accusations and questions from non church members, asking me what the church members talking about, I have decided to write a book about Etiole, who he is, how I met him, why people started calling me a witch, and what these religion crazed nuts did to me as a result of their unfounded fears of Etiole. This blog will contain the first drafts of it. I’ll be posting them over the next month or so. I’m just plain tired of being called a witch, I’m thinking of renaming this blog to make the accusations, just to spite them. Seeing a UFO and meeting an alien-faerie-angel being DOES NOT MAKE ME A WITCH!!!! Well, anyways, here’s my latest addition into this year’s NaNoWriMo contest, I know I’m supposed to be writing a fiction novel, not a non-fiction autobiography, but whatever, I just need these people to stop accusing me of demon possession and witchcraft and the only way I can see to do that is to tell the world why it is they are saying these things about me, so continueing from where I left on in my last NaNoWriMo post, here is todays NaNoWriMo addition:

UPDATE: February 5, 2010: It’s Published!

The contents of this blog, are taken from the second draft of the book “For Fear of Little Men” by Wendy C. Allen, and reprinted here with permission.

Edit February 17, 2009: Parts of this book can now be seen on a Squidoo lens.

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

. . .

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If you liked reading this blog and want to read more stuff written by me, I have lots of websites, where you can read other things I write, here are a few of the ones I like the best:
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Was asked today – "Why do you wear a cross? and why a rosary?"

An interesting question was asked of me today: “You wear a rosary as a necklace. Can you explain this?” It is not an easy thing to answer, but it does have a reason and a story behind it. You see, I am not Catholic. When people see me with a rosary, their first thought it that I must be Catholic. When they learn that I am not, they become puzzled over the fact that, why would a non-Catholic have a rosary?

Well, my wearing a rosary started many years ago, and actually, at the time, I did not know what a rosary was. I simply saw it as a very fancy necklace, and thus I wore it as such. Than one day, a former Catholic man walked up to me and said quite out of the blue: “You’re sacrilegious”.

I was puzzled by this, because I had no idea what he was talking about. I knew this guy, so I knew he was raised Catholic but had joined a different church later on. Anyways, I asked him why he had said that, and he pointed to the crucifix necklace that I wear (I own several and am almost always wearing one) and he said, “It’s sacrilegious to wear that”.

Still puzzled I asked why, and he said “Because it’s a rosary not a piece of jewelry! It’s disrespectful!” A rosary? This was new. I had never heard of a rosary before so I had no idea what he was talking about. It was the first time I was made aware that this was anything other than a fancy necklace.

Well, now I’ll explain how I got started wearing them: You see, I was raised a Mormon. I’ve been a Mormon for 34 years. As a child, while I knew no one ever mentioned the cross, crucifixion, or resurrection, I didn’t know why. No one had ever bothered to tell me that crosses, crucifixes, and the resurrection were taboo topics in our church. I didn’t know that it was taboo to mention such things. So it never occurred to me that it was also forbidden to wear a cross in church, and thus what happened when I was a teenager, took me quite by surprise.

When I was going through what adults called my “Jesus Freak” phase, I bought a big cross necklace – big like 5 inches tall and made of pewter – and started wearing it everywhere. Later that week, I wore it to church. I was 14 years old, and our Young Women’s group was going to have our class pictures taken that afternoon. We all got ready, and were waiting for the camera flash, when our teacher said: “Wendy take that thing off!”

“What thing?” I didn’t know what she was talking about. She was using the word ‘thing’ which could have been anything. She was going to have to be more specific if she wanted me to take the ‘thing’ off, I would have to know what ‘thing’ she was referring to.

“That disgraceful thing around your neck”.

“What, the cross?” I asked.

“Yes, get that horrible thing out of here and never wear it to church again.”

“But it’s a cross? Jesus died on the cross.”

Every body went dead silent. I had said something wrong. I knew it. I just wasn’t sure what it was that I had said to cause every one to suddenly become as silent as a grave. The teacher flew into hysterics and went out the door, than came back a few moments later with the Bishop. The teacher, was still all hysterical screaming and yelling and pointing, as she told the Bishop, “She keeps saying that word!”

I do? What word? I was looking around hoping someone would give me a clue as to what I had said and why whatever I had said was causing our teacher to become so upset. No one was answering me though. They were all too shocked by the fact that I had dared say “that word” to tell me, what word it was.

I was baffled, as I was dragged off to the Bishop’s office where I spent the next hour being lectured on how “we don’t say cross” and “we don’t wear crosses” and “we can’t talk about the crucifixion because it’s a sad memory in Jesus life” and “we must remember his life not his death” and “we don’t talk about death” and “we don’t remember death” and “to wear a cross is to disrespect Jesus”. I was told, that under no conditions was I ever to wear a cross to church again. I was sent back to class, but because I refused to remove the cross, I was not allowed to be in that class picture nor any other class picture in the many years since than either.

Well, none of that sat well with me, so I made sure to never take that cross off. I wore it every day, and I made sure to wear it every Sunday to church. My young mind told me that they were the ones who were disrespecting Jesus, not me. I was just a kid, but I knew that I was not ashamed of Jesus and I wasn’t going to hide my faith in him.

I started collecting cross necklaces after that. I had every shape, color, and size you could think of. There were metal ones, plastic ones, gemstone, and wooden. You see, just a short distance from my house was this tiny little shop that is run by a monk and two nuns, and they sold mostly prayer cards, bibles, and crosses of various types. So, I access to a wide range of cross necklaces and I just started buying lots of them. Well, my favorite ones were the long colorful stings of beads that had a crucifix on them, and so I started collecting those, and wearing them. I did not know that only Catholics were supposed to own the. I did not know they were rosaries and even if I had, I would not have known you were not supposed to wear them like necklaces.

After that, I was dragged off to the Bishop’s office to be lectured, almost every Sunday. I rarely ever made it through an entire Sunday School Lesson before the Bishop would come in, find me wearing yet another cross, and drag me out to tell me all over again all the reason why crosses were forbidden. When I was 14, he said he was deeply troubled over the fact that I was so young and already so far down the road to apostasy. I was 16 when he official announced to the congregation that I was an apostate and had to be shunned. I was shunned for the next several years (about 12) – no one would say a word to me, no one would look at me, no one would shake hands with me, and when I walked down the hallway every one stepped to the side to avoid me. All because I wore a cross?

I remained in that church until I was 27. I stopped going, because of the depression the shunning has caused me. I’m still be shunned today, all these years late, so they are now nearing 25 years shunning me. It was after I was 27 that I had my encounter with the former Catholic man. So I was wearing rosaries for necklaces a good 15 years before I found out what a rosary was. Though I admit I still don’t fully understand the rosary, and while in his mind wearing one as jewelry is a sin, in my mind, wearing it is an outward sign that I stand for Jesus and am not willing to hide my faith in Jesus.

And so, today, I wear both crosses and crucifixes equally. That some of my necklaces are actually rosaries and not necklaces, well, that’s just the way it is.

Due to the resent rise (yet again) of the demon possession and witchcraft accusations and questions from non church members, asking me what the church members talking about, I have decided to write a book about Etiole, who he is, how I met him, why people started calling me a witch, and what these religion crazed nuts did to me as a result of their unfounded fears of Etiole. This blog will contain the first drafts of it. I’ll be posting them over the next month or so. I’m just plain tired of being called a witch, I’m thinking of renaming this blog to make the accusations, just to spite them. Seeing a UFO and meeting an alien-faerie-angel being DOES NOT MAKE ME A WITCH!!!! Well, anyways, here’s my latest addition into this year’s NaNoWriMo contest, I know I’m supposed to be writing a fiction novel, not a non-fiction autobiography, but whatever, I just need these people to stop accusing me of demon possession and witchcraft and the only way I can see to do that is to tell the world why it is they are saying these things about me, so continueing from where I left on in my last NaNoWriMo post, here is todays NaNoWriMo addition:

UPDATE: February 5, 2010: It’s Published!

The contents of this blog, are taken from the second draft of the book “For Fear of Little Men” by Wendy C. Allen, and reprinted here with permission.

Edit February 17, 2009: Parts of this book can now be seen on a Squidoo lens.

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

. . .

————-
If you liked reading this blog and want to read more stuff written by me, I have lots of websites, where you can read other things I write, here are a few of the ones I like the best:
.
.

.

RE: Is religion considered to be a good or bad thing for our society?

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4. Religions

by Anonymous on March 13th, 2006

QUESTION

Help answer this question below.

Is religion considered to be a good or bad thing for our society?

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ANSWERS. 44 helpful answers below.

Religion has the ability to generate unselfish love in some people, and vicious, raw hatred in others. Religion is only as good as the people promoting it.

On one hand religion creates people like Gandhi and Mother Teresa and on the other hand it creates people like Adolf Hitler.

When you have loving kind people promoting peace and love, religion is a good thing. When you have vengeful vindictive people promoting acts of violence and hate, religion is a bad thing.

Religion, like every thing else in the world is neutral. Religion on it’s own is neither good nor bad. Religion becomes good or evil when it is wielded by it’s followers, depending on how it’s followers go about promoting it.

People who do good things, give their religion of choice a good name. People who do bad things, cause their chosen religion to suffer a bad reputation.

Each religion has rules and doctrines, but the religion and it’s rules and doctrines are only as good as the members who promote them, and are farther only as good as the methods used by the members to promote them. Without it’s members a religion means nothing.

Some of the greatest acts in history were inspired by religion, and yet religion has also been used to justify slavery, murder, torture, terrorism, war, racial segregation, oppression of women, discrimination, bigotry, genocides, infanticides, exterminations of minorities, hate crimes, and other horrendous evils.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

RE: Is religion considered to be a good or bad thing for our society?

1. Home /

 

2. Questions /

 

3. Social Sciences /

 

4. Religions

by Anonymous on March 13th, 2006

QUESTION

Help answer this question below.

Is religion considered to be a good or bad thing for our society?

• Unlike (You and 5 others like this.)
• Report

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Sort answers by:                                      Greatness / Likes                                     Date submitted                                 

ANSWERS. 44 helpful answers below.

Religion has the ability to generate unselfish love in some people, and vicious, raw hatred in others. Religion is only as good as the people promoting it.

On one hand religion creates people like Gandhi and Mother Teresa and on the other hand it creates people like Adolf Hitler.

When you have loving kind people promoting peace and love, religion is a good thing. When you have vengeful vindictive people promoting acts of violence and hate, religion is a bad thing.

Religion, like every thing else in the world is neutral. Religion on it’s own is neither good nor bad. Religion becomes good or evil when it is wielded by it’s followers, depending on how it’s followers go about promoting it.

People who do good things, give their religion of choice a good name. People who do bad things, cause their chosen religion to suffer a bad reputation.

Each religion has rules and doctrines, but the religion and it’s rules and doctrines are only as good as the members who promote them, and are farther only as good as the methods used by the members to promote them. Without it’s members a religion means nothing.

Some of the greatest acts in history were inspired by religion, and yet religion has also been used to justify slavery, murder, torture, terrorism, war, racial segregation, oppression of women, discrimination, bigotry, genocides, infanticides, exterminations of minorities, hate crimes, and other horrendous evils.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

Due to the resent rise (yet again) of the demon possession and witchcraft accusations and questions from non church members, asking me what the church members talking about, I have decided to write a book about Etiole, who he is, how I met him, why people started calling me a witch, and what these religion crazed nuts did to me as a result of their unfounded fears of Etiole. This blog will contain the first drafts of it. I’ll be posting them over the next month or so. I’m just plain tired of being called a witch, I’m thinking of renaming this blog to make the accusations, just to spite them. Seeing a UFO and meeting an alien-faerie-angel being DOES NOT MAKE ME A WITCH!!!! Well, anyways, here’s my latest addition into this year’s NaNoWriMo contest, I know I’m supposed to be writing a fiction novel, not a non-fiction autobiography, but whatever, I just need these people to stop accusing me of demon possession and witchcraft and the only way I can see to do that is to tell the world why it is they are saying these things about me, so continueing from where I left on in my last NaNoWriMo post, here is todays NaNoWriMo addition:

UPDATE: February 5, 2010: It’s Published!

The contents of this blog, are taken from the second draft of the book “For Fear of Little Men” by Wendy C. Allen, and reprinted here with permission.

Edit February 17, 2009: Parts of this book can now be seen on a Squidoo lens.

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

. . .

————-
If you liked reading this blog and want to read more stuff written by me, I have lots of websites, where you can read other things I write, here are a few of the ones I like the best:
.
.

.

RE: Is religion considered to be a good or bad thing for our society?

1. Home /

 

2. Questions /

 

3. Social Sciences /

 

4. Religions

by Anonymous on March 13th, 2006

QUESTION

Help answer this question below.

Is religion considered to be a good or bad thing for our society?

• Unlike (You and 5 others like this.)
• Report

Share:

 

Email

 

Facebook

 

Twitter

 

Other

Sort answers by:                                      Greatness / Likes                                     Date submitted                                 

ANSWERS. 44 helpful answers below.

Religion has the ability to generate unselfish love in some people, and vicious, raw hatred in others. Religion is only as good as the people promoting it.

On one hand religion creates people like Gandhi and Mother Teresa and on the other hand it creates people like Adolf Hitler.

When you have loving kind people promoting peace and love, religion is a good thing. When you have vengeful vindictive people promoting acts of violence and hate, religion is a bad thing.

Religion, like every thing else in the world is neutral. Religion on it’s own is neither good nor bad. Religion becomes good or evil when it is wielded by it’s followers, depending on how it’s followers go about promoting it.

People who do good things, give their religion of choice a good name. People who do bad things, cause their chosen religion to suffer a bad reputation.

Each religion has rules and doctrines, but the religion and it’s rules and doctrines are only as good as the members who promote them, and are farther only as good as the methods used by the members to promote them. Without it’s members a religion means nothing.

Some of the greatest acts in history were inspired by religion, and yet religion has also been used to justify slavery, murder, torture, terrorism, war, racial segregation, oppression of women, discrimination, bigotry, genocides, infanticides, exterminations of minorities, hate crimes, and other horrendous evils.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

Due to the resent rise (yet again) of the demon possession and witchcraft accusations and questions from non church members, asking me what the church members talking about, I have decided to write a book about Etiole, who he is, how I met him, why people started calling me a witch, and what these religion crazed nuts did to me as a result of their unfounded fears of Etiole. This blog will contain the first drafts of it. I’ll be posting them over the next month or so. I’m just plain tired of being called a witch, I’m thinking of renaming this blog to make the accusations, just to spite them. Seeing a UFO and meeting an alien-faerie-angel being DOES NOT MAKE ME A WITCH!!!! Well, anyways, here’s my latest addition into this year’s NaNoWriMo contest, I know I’m supposed to be writing a fiction novel, not a non-fiction autobiography, but whatever, I just need these people to stop accusing me of demon possession and witchcraft and the only way I can see to do that is to tell the world why it is they are saying these things about me, so continueing from where I left on in my last NaNoWriMo post, here is todays NaNoWriMo addition:

UPDATE: February 5, 2010: It’s Published!

The contents of this blog, are taken from the second draft of the book “For Fear of Little Men” by Wendy C. Allen, and reprinted here with permission.

Edit February 17, 2009: Parts of this book can now be seen on a Squidoo lens.

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

. . .

————-
If you liked reading this blog and want to read more stuff written by me, I have lots of websites, where you can read other things I write, here are a few of the ones I like the best:
.
.

.

>I think I have found the answer to why local church members and leaders call me a witch and set fire to my home.

>

I think I have found an answer to the vandalism, arsine, drive by shootings, witchcraft accusations, and other lesser forms of harassment that have happened at the hands of local church members these past 9 years: ***People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves. -Aesop ***

In other words, my lifestyle is something they want and can not have, thus in their frustration they try to take it from me, and yet, in everything they have done, they have not, nor can not succeed. Why?

Because I unlike them live my life. I do the things I want to do, when I want to do them, how I want to do them. I am not controlled by a job or a church.

I think they feel trapped by their jobs, and trapped by their church. If they want to drop every thing and spend 10 hours on the beach, they do not have the freedom to do so, like I do.

If they want to wear 15th century ball gowns or fairy princess costumes to run to the grocery store, they can not do so, because they fear ridicule by their peers.

They have huge debts: house, cars, credit cards, bills for frivolous things. I own no man any thing.

When they burned down my house, the last thing they expected was for me to take to living under a tarp and continue on doing things no different than before. The lost of a house would have destified them, thus they thought it would me. But their fault was thinking that I care about material possessions – like they do.

I live what one woman once called: “the life of a wild and free feral child”, which she than added: “I wish I had your freedom”.
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=spacedock13-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B001GLX6TY&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr
And that is what is boils down to: I have the freedom to do absolutely anything that pops into my head, something they do not have, something they want, but fear to pursue, because they are too blinded by the risks of my lifestyle to see the benefits of it. Because they can not have the freedom I have, they made (and continue to make) many attempts to take that from me. And yet they continue to fail. Why?

I will tell you why. I live my life to the letter, by Jesus’ words: To be the lily of the field. Not familiar with it? Look it up. Want to see a modern day translation of that? Watch the movie: You Can’t Take It With You.

If you have ever read Jesus’ words or watched the movie: “You Can’t Take It With You”, than you will know what I mean when I say this:

I am a lily.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

I think I have found the answer to why local church members and leaders call me a witch and set fire to my home.

I think I have found an answer to the vandalism, arsine, drive by shootings, witchcraft accusations, and other lesser forms of harassment that have happened at the hands of local church members these past 9 years: ***People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves. -Aesop ***

In other words, my lifestyle is something they want and can not have, thus in their frustration they try to take it from me, and yet, in everything they have done, they have not, nor can not succeed. Why?

Because I unlike them live my life. I do the things I want to do, when I want to do them, how I want to do them. I am not controlled by a job or a church.

I think they feel trapped by their jobs, and trapped by their church. If they want to drop every thing and spend 10 hours on the beach, they do not have the freedom to do so, like I do.

If they want to wear 15th century ball gowns or fairy princess costumes to run to the grocery store, they can not do so, because they fear ridicule by their peers.

They have huge debts: house, cars, credit cards, bills for frivolous things. I own no man any thing.

When they burned down my house, the last thing they expected was for me to take to living under a tarp and continue on doing things no different than before. The lost of a house would have destified them, thus they thought it would me. But their fault was thinking that I care about material possessions – like they do.

I live what one woman once called: “the life of a wild and free feral child”, which she than added: “I wish I had your freedom”.

And that is what is boils down to: I have the freedom to do absolutely anything that pops into my head, something they do not have, something they want, but fear to pursue, because they are too blinded by the risks of my lifestyle to see the benefits of it. Because they can not have the freedom I have, they made (and continue to make) many attempts to take that from me. And yet they continue to fail. Why?

I will tell you why. I live my life to the letter, by Jesus’ words: To be the lily of the field. Not familiar with it? Look it up. Want to see a modern day translation of that? Watch the movie: You Can’t Take It With You.

If you have ever read Jesus’ words or watched the movie: “You Can’t Take It With You”, than you will know what I mean when I say this:

I am a lily.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

I think I have found the answer to why local church members and leaders call me a witch and set fire to my home.

I think I have found an answer to the vandalism, arsine, drive by shootings, witchcraft accusations, and other lesser forms of harassment that have happened at the hands of local church members these past 9 years: ***People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves. -Aesop ***

In other words, my lifestyle is something they want and can not have, thus in their frustration they try to take it from me, and yet, in everything they have done, they have not, nor can not succeed. Why?

Because I unlike them live my life. I do the things I want to do, when I want to do them, how I want to do them. I am not controlled by a job or a church.

I think they feel trapped by their jobs, and trapped by their church. If they want to drop every thing and spend 10 hours on the beach, they do not have the freedom to do so, like I do.

If they want to wear 15th century ball gowns or fairy princess costumes to run to the grocery store, they can not do so, because they fear ridicule by their peers.

They have huge debts: house, cars, credit cards, bills for frivolous things. I own no man any thing.

When they burned down my house, the last thing they expected was for me to take to living under a tarp and continue on doing things no different than before. The lost of a house would have destified them, thus they thought it would me. But their fault was thinking that I care about material possessions – like they do.

I live what one woman once called: “the life of a wild and free feral child”, which she than added: “I wish I had your freedom”.
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=spacedock13-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B001GLX6TY&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr
And that is what is boils down to: I have the freedom to do absolutely anything that pops into my head, something they do not have, something they want, but fear to pursue, because they are too blinded by the risks of my lifestyle to see the benefits of it. Because they can not have the freedom I have, they made (and continue to make) many attempts to take that from me. And yet they continue to fail. Why?

I will tell you why. I live my life to the letter, by Jesus’ words: To be the lily of the field. Not familiar with it? Look it up. Want to see a modern day translation of that? Watch the movie: You Can’t Take It With You.

If you have ever read Jesus’ words or watched the movie: “You Can’t Take It With You”, than you will know what I mean when I say this:

I am a lily.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

. . .

————-
If you liked reading this blog and want to read more stuff written by me, I have lots of websites, where you can read other things I write, here are a few of the ones I like the best:
.
.

.

I think I have found the answer to why local church members and leaders call me a witch and set fire to my home.

I think I have found an answer to the vandalism, arsine, drive by shootings, witchcraft accusations, and other lesser forms of harassment that have happened at the hands of local church members these past 9 years: ***People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves. -Aesop ***

In other words, my lifestyle is something they want and can not have, thus in their frustration they try to take it from me, and yet, in everything they have done, they have not, nor can not succeed. Why?

Because I unlike them live my life. I do the things I want to do, when I want to do them, how I want to do them. I am not controlled by a job or a church.

I think they feel trapped by their jobs, and trapped by their church. If they want to drop every thing and spend 10 hours on the beach, they do not have the freedom to do so, like I do.

If they want to wear 15th century ball gowns or fairy princess costumes to run to the grocery store, they can not do so, because they fear ridicule by their peers.

They have huge debts: house, cars, credit cards, bills for frivolous things. I own no man any thing.

When they burned down my house, the last thing they expected was for me to take to living under a tarp and continue on doing things no different than before. The lost of a house would have destified them, thus they thought it would me. But their fault was thinking that I care about material possessions – like they do.

I live what one woman once called: “the life of a wild and free feral child”, which she than added: “I wish I had your freedom”.
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=spacedock13-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B001GLX6TY&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr
And that is what is boils down to: I have the freedom to do absolutely anything that pops into my head, something they do not have, something they want, but fear to pursue, because they are too blinded by the risks of my lifestyle to see the benefits of it. Because they can not have the freedom I have, they made (and continue to make) many attempts to take that from me. And yet they continue to fail. Why?

I will tell you why. I live my life to the letter, by Jesus’ words: To be the lily of the field. Not familiar with it? Look it up. Want to see a modern day translation of that? Watch the movie: You Can’t Take It With You.

If you have ever read Jesus’ words or watched the movie: “You Can’t Take It With You”, than you will know what I mean when I say this:

I am a lily.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

. . .

————-
If you liked reading this blog and want to read more stuff written by me, I have lots of websites, where you can read other things I write, here are a few of the ones I like the best:
.
.

.

>RE to IM on FaceBook – more detailed info about what started the witch accusations and harasment

>

(ADDED NOTE: I’m a third generation LDS/Saint/Mormon; this answer went to a “new” fellow member who was asking what happened to inspire my previous post, this was my answer:)

I got 3 windows each with 50 tabs open, and speakers on my computer zoned out a while back, so I don’t get the “beep” from FB anymore and even though FB still says I’m online, but I already moved to a different site. It’s sort of hard to keep track of me online, I zip back and forth so much. I was on Zazzle, not FB, so I didn’t see the messages til just now. Sorry.

Nope, didn’t know about the AS group. I’m still sort of new to getting out of the house, it’s kind of hard to get used to doing. I pretty much only ever leave to go to the writer’s meetings (NaNoWriMo and Screnzy) and to buy cat food and grain.

The guy that was yelling at me is from the Sanford ward. (It was yesterday). He’s the same one that was accusing me of writing “deframitory” letters to tons of people in the Sanford Ward, though he’s yet to be able to prove that any of those letters actually exist. So I don’t know if there really are letters I supposedly wrote or if that’s just some rumor. He’s sort of weird. I’m used to him showing up every once in a while. Bishop LR got after him about it a while back, and he stopped, but Sanford just changed bishops, so, I don’t know, I guess he thinks he can try it again. Anyways my mom emails him, (I guess she emails every body, because I’ve had to change my email 34 times as a result of her emailing people who than email me in a rage over whatever it is she has said at that moment.) and that’s usually what sets him off.

My mom showed up at the yard today, with the same accusations – witchcraft, proof being my lack of shoes. I don’t where she comes up with this from, but I guess seeing how she’s saying the same stuff the next day, that she’s the one who got him saying it. (He’s got mental problems and tends to repeat whatever he hears some one else say, so I’m not too worried about him, because I know he’s just parroting some thing he heard some one else say. It’s the person he’s repeating that bothers me.) But yeah, seeing how my mom showed up with the exact same accusation, I guess she’s the one who said it to him to begin with. After he accused me of the letters in Sanford, my mom showed up a few hours later that same day accusing me of letters in Saco, so I’m not sure what to think there. I’d still like to see one of these letters, because last time letters like that showed up, well, the only time letters like that showed up, and I actually saw one, it turned out that it was written by one of my mom’s brothers, not me, like every one thought. It’s the only time a letter ever actually came forward though, so I don’t believe the poison pen letter accusations half the time, because it’s so rare that they can ever provide proof that the letters they accuse me of writing, are even real at all.

I guess, it’s always my mom that gets people all wound up, at least from what I’m finding out these past few months. I know from what Bishop K said that it was my mom complaining to him, because he was quoting stuff, word for word the way my mom says them – demon possession, spell casting, curses, me being a witch. I’m just so sick of it. It hurts when people call me a witch or say I’m demon possessed, but than I’ve got Autism so they think I don’t have any feelings to hurt. I just never can understand how folks can believe her. The whole believing that demons and witches are real, is just something I can’t get my mind around. It’s so illogical. I can not understand how my mom or her brothers or Bishop M or Bishop K can believe in those things.

Of course, I don’t understand how come every time a new Bishop or Stake Pres comes in, I have to be retried all over again. Double Jeopardy is illegal in the USA. The first time I got called in for “apostasy”, “witch craft”, “demon possession” and consideration for excommunication was when I was just 12 years old. That was Bishop Re and Stake Pres S. Bishop Re is the one who got released after having a mental breakdown. Stake Pres. S said there was no ground to excommunicate me than, because I was neither witch nor demon possessed nor apostate.

Than Bishop Ri called me in about 2 years later, said complaints of demon possession and witchcraft had been made again, but that he was no going to do anything about it, because he did not believe the complaint.

Bishop M replaced him, and at the same time Stake Pres E took over for S and it stated all over again. That time Bishop M brought in doctors from Pine Land Center, he claimed I was not only a demon possessed witch, but that I was schizophrenic as well. He tried several times to have me excommunicated between the ages of 14 through 17, each time he didn’t get any where with it.

Bishop B wanted to have all 264 of us (me and my relatives) excommunicated and is the one who told me “white trash like you and the rest of the Atwater clan don’t belong in this church”. That happened 13 years ago and was why I stopped going to the Cape Elizabeth Ward.

Cape E Ward broke off and became the Portland and Saco Wards instead, but by that time I had started going to the Sanford Ward.

That was when the vandalism started in. At first it was just rock throwing and stuff, but than the dead animals and photos of guns started showing up. In 2003 the drive by paint ball shootings started. They messed up my horse really bad, tore out half of her face and cut out both her eyes. It got so bad that the OOB police stationed a motorcycle cop to patrol Portland Ave. That’s when I stopped going to the Sanford Ward, because the police offices said they had evidence that it was people from church behind the vandalism. They had a list of suspects, all of them were from one of 5 different churches – 3 of the churches being the Saco, Portland, and Sanford LDS Wards. That’s when the reports and paparazzi got involved, one of the officers contacted the state police and one of them called ABC. We had reporters and photographers all over our land for about 3 months. That’s when my agoraphobia set it. Between the vandals killing my pets and the paint ballers and the reporters asking me questions and the police constantly warning us about who to avoid – I just freaked out big time. I couldn’t handle it.

Between 2001 and 2004 we had court dates on an almost weekly basis. I went to the early ones, but as the reporters and such got more involved, I stopped going to them. The later court dates from 2003 – 2005 I did not attend, except for one in summer of 2005, when I had a total meltdown in the court and the judge sent me to a psychiatrist. That’s when I found out I had Autism (Shizotypal Aspergers with OCD tendencies).

After the court stuff ended, my mom got something like $20K in the settlement, that’s when the vandalism went out of hand and our house got burned down.

Next thing we know, DHS is at the tent and telling us about an FBI investigation into OOB town manager, and that there were about 40 families on Portland Ave and Walnut Str that were involved, most every one of them had lost their homes, nearly all of them had been driven out of town, they couldn’t handle the stress. It was DHS that told us about Thomas and the other folks from the Saco Ward being investigated because some $3million had been embezzled out of town funds. That’s how I found out that the town manager and the town council were all members of the Saco Ward. OOB had to get rid of every one working in the town hall, and I had to deal with gov workers asking me questions left and right, only I didn’t know anything about all that stuff so finally they stopped coming over. I never did understand all that stuff with the DHS and the FBI and the town manager. No one ever gave us much information, they just wanted to know what we knew about it. In any case, finding that stuff out, freaked me out even more, because the guy they were investigating was a high priest in the Saco ward and the OOB town manager. They had records of how he’d been run out of 4 states already and he was constantly going from state to state to evade them. Finding that out, just scared the hell out of me and after that, I just stopped trusting every one.

I mean, you think you can trust a high priest right? You think you can trust your town manager right? But than the police and DHS tell us that these people we thought we could trust were the ones behind all the violence and death, and it just shatters your ability to trust any one after that. Now I don’t know who I can trust any more. But than, when all this was going on, normally I would have turned to the church for help, but I don’t any more because every time I do, the members and leaders start calling me a witch and telling me I’ve no right to be in church. I still don’t understand why people call me a witch.

I know several complaints happen because of the whole color thing. I see these glowing colors around people, which I thought every one saw. I didn’t realize until my late teens that other folks did not see them, or that it freaked people out when I talked about seeing them. But the whole me being a witch and casting spells and curses comes from that, because there were several times when I told people *that person* is about to die, and than within a few hours to a few days they did. People freaked out and said I made those people die, but what happened was, your color leaves and dissapers before your die, and if I see someone with no color, I know they’ll die soon. I was only 5 or 6 years old when I used to say those things, so the accusations of witchcraft and curses started early. That’s how the rumor got started at least. But that’s Autism, not witchcraft, so I don’t see how they can use that to call me a witch.

Than of course my encounter with whatever it is that Etiole is, is what started the accusations of me being demon possessed. I may not know what it is that Etiole is, but I do know what he is not, and he most certainly is not a demon. I assume you must know about Etiole, since it seems like every one does, but if not, I wrote all about him here: http://www.squidoo.com/amphibious-aliens so many folks kept asking me for more info about him, that I finally just wrote it down and now instead of reanswering everyone I just direct them to that link. It’s easier. And, again, though not many folks have ever seen Etiole, a few have, and they were not witches any more than I am, so I don’t see how my contact with him could make me a witch or demon possessed. Ben’s thoughts on the matter are that people who call Etiole a demon are silly, because (according to Ben) Etiole is an alien, some sort of Gray Hybrid or some such thing. (When Ben is not being a high priest, he spends his time being a ufologist.) I’m not sure what to think of Ben’s whole alien/alien abduction theory, but at least it makes more logical sense than the demon possession theory my mom’s always preaching. Personally, I’ve always thought of Etiole as a Faerie, which I say to mean a natural all be it rare, cryptiod creature, not some supernatural being or an extraterrestrial.

My mom’s constant accusations that first my Dodge and now my Volvo, are possessed by demons, baffles me. I have no explanation for her reasoning, other than I guess she is suggesting that Etiole somehow possesses them. I don’t know. I think the accusation that my cars have demons is the least logical and most confusing of any of the accusations to date.

A few years ago, in about 2005, I decided to look into this whole witch thing, to try to find out why folks kept saying I was a witch, but after talking to several wiccan-witches, they all told me the same thing – that there was no way in hell I was a witch because I was so much of a “super Christian Jesus freak”. Last spring some folks online said they thought I was more of an old fashioned Christian, the type like followed Jesus when he was still alive, and that today they are called ChristoPagans, which are neither witches nor what modern tradition calls Christian. I don’t know. I can’t figure any of it out. Christian call me a witch and witches call me a Jesus Freak, neither accept me as an equal. But still, after looking into the whole witch/wicca thing, I still can’t figure out why folks keep calling me a witch, and neither could any of the witches I talked to. They said the witch accusation was most likely based on my mode of dress. They thought it was most likely that folks look at my clothes and assume I’m a witch because of the things I wear.

But I don’t understand that either. You see, my grandmother was an Indian. She was a Kickapoo and lived much of her life in Hawaii. Because of her culture she wore muu-muu and kimono and long robes and stuff. She didn’t want her culture to die, like most native cultures had, but she couldn’t remember most of her native heritage, but her clothe connected her to her ancestors, it was the only part of her culture she had ever been taught (she was an orphan, in a time when Indians were still “red skin savages” so a lot of her culture history was lost.). As an adult she traveled around the world looking for information about her family history. That’s why she spent a lot of time in Hawiaii and Japan. I spent most of my childhood with her, because my mom was always in the hospital, and so, I grew up wearing muu-muus and kimono and robes and stuff, because that’s the way our native culture dressed. When she died in 1994, I inherited everything, including her collection of antique Hawaiian muu-muus and Japanese Kimono, which is what I have worn ever since I inherited them. The way I dress has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with my Native American culture, so I don’t understand why people look at the way I dress and call me a witch because of my cloths.

So, I mean, I can see where they are basing the witch accusations from (the Autism, Etiole, and my clothes), but I just can’t understand how they can actually believe such nonsense as to think I am a witch, because none of those things makes me a witch on their own, and even all three together can’t classify me as a witch either.

Bishop K did a lot of complaining about my cloths the day he called me to his office. I tried to explain about my grandmother, but my ability to speak coherently is not good. I’ve always had trouble making words come out of my mouth properly and that’s why I write things down instead. He kept saying I was a witch and putting spells on church members, and than he’d comment about my cloths.

The witch accusation upset me. I’ve gone through this every time a new bishop comes in. I don’t know who it is that runs to every bishop complaining about me and calling me a witch, but this has happened with 16 bishops and 3 stake presidents now. Every time I get told I’m a demon possessed witch casting spells and curses. Every time it’s eventually found out the accusations are false. Every time the monthly, sometimes weekly meetings with the bishop and stake pres drag on for 6 or 7 months. Double Jeopardy is illegal in the USA. You can’t retry some one for a crime they were already tried for and proven innocent. And yet, here we go again, with bishop number 16 and stake pres number 3. That’s double jeopardy 16 times! Why? I’ve already been dragged before 15 different counsels, each time with the same accusation of apostasy and witchcraft and excommunication threats. Sixteen times since I was 12 years old! Each time has 6 or 7 meetings. WHY? Why do I have to go through this every time a new bishop or a new stake pres comes into the ward?

Do you have any idea how stressful this is? And people keep asking me why I don’t come back to church? Why should I? What incentive is there for me to attend meetings at church, when I won’t get the chance to attend half of meetings because I’m too busy being called into the bishop’s office where I get accused of being a witch? Most of the meetings took place on Sunday, they’s take me right out of Primary or Young Woman’s classes. I missed more than half of my Sunday meetings because I had to sit in the bishop’s office every Sunday being told I was some evil apostate witch. How can they expect me to want to go to church when I’m not allowed to attend the meetings when I do come in?

I used to go to whatever ward Ben was attending, but I’ve been with him since I was 12, (he’s 30 years older than me) which in the Cape Elez Ward no one cared much about that, a few folks complained, but not many and no one did anything about it. In the Sanford Ward though, one of the members was a DHS social worker, and some how she found out about how old I was when I started going out with Ben, and even though I was 27 by the time she found out about it, she raised hell for him, she wanted him to be put in prison and tried to get me to press charges against him, she really went overboard about it and he got into a lot of trouble and he almost got excommunicated over it, and now he’s terrified to be seen in church with me.

I don’t know why she flipped out like that, because I was 27 years old at the time, yeah I was 12, but well, if she had ever read the church handbook, the church puts 12 years old as the legal marriage age, so, whatever. Anyways, Ben is just terrified out of his mind over the whole ordeal and that’s why he called off the wedding a few weeks before the wedding date. (He has huge phobia problems, and the DHS threats made them worse.) A lot of folks in the Sanford Ward threatened to never speak to him again if we got married, so now he hides the fact that we are together. We were supposed to get married in the temple, but they would not allow it. They took Ben’s temple recommend away and said I was not allowed to have on on grounds of “mental incompetency”. Some folks called me a “grave digger” and others called me a “gold digger” and others said I was with Ben because I wanted to be “a lovely young widow”. Uhm . . . at the time Ben had A LOT of money. His dad is one of the wealthiest men in Kennebunk Port. I did not know all of that at the time though, because I had never meet Ben’s dad and Ben had never once in those first 15 years ever mentioned his job or money. I had no idea he had all that money, not until folks in the Sanford Ward started saying those things to me. Their words hurt me more than anything else ever could. Of course, since than, Ben has lost all that money, and well, I proved them wrong because all these years later, I’m still with him.

But that’s why I stopped going to the Sanford Ward. The whole freak out over the 30 year age difference was a really big issue for people there, though I still don’t understand why. That happened 7 years ago and I had hoped that they had calmed down some about our huge age difference. I went back to Sanford once this last summer, and well, let’s just say I was most diffenatly not welcomed there. I was there all of 10 minutes before Ben had to rush me out of the building and we left. Ben didn’t dare go back to church for a few weeks after that, so I haven’t tried going back to Sanford since. It’s really upsetting that people can hate me like that, just because I’m 30 years younger than Ben. It’s the one thing of all of everything, that has bothered me more than anything else. I want so desperately to attend church with Ben again, but I’m not allowed to, people just go nuts when they see us together. That upsets me more than the witch accusations from the Cape Elizabeth and Saco Wards do.

So, I just don’t go to church at all any more, as you can see, for a lot of reasons. The witch and demon accusations I could ignore. I sort of grew up with them, and while they hurt my feelings and stress me out, I’ve sort of gotten used to them. I try to ignore them. It’s the accusations involving me and Ben and our age difference, that upsets me most of all. I find it very hard to ignore these, because they effect our relationship. They stress Ben and, he just does not deal with stress well at all. He freaks out and goes into hiding and doesn’t dare to contact anyone, not even me – uhm, yeah, he has all sorts of alien abduction fears and stuff, and rambles on ufo stuff all the time, and whenever any one freaks him out, he just goes super paranoid, and the whole deal with folks freaking out over our age difference sort of freaked him out worse than most other stuff does, and seeing him get all upset over it, made me even more upset than I already was over it. So all in all, that hurts my feelings and upsets me more than the witch accusations do. And, well, if they are not going to let me attend church with Ben anymore, and over such a stupid reason just because he’s 30 years older than me, than really, I’ve lost all desire to go to church at all now, because I have a hard time seeing how Jesus would think well of a church that breaks up families, the way folks there are trying to break up me and Ben. Me an Ben have been together for 22 years. We meet in church. Church was such a big thing for us. We attending every meeting – the morning meetings the evening meetings (the church stopped doing the double meetings in the mid 1980′s) and all the week day meetings. We used to come do the landscaping, and cleaning the building, and repairing the roof, and decorating for youth dances, etc. For years we spent an average of 12 to 15 hours a week in church. That was in Cape Elizabeth, before they consolidated the Cape Elizabeth and Portland Wards.

The Cape Elizabeth Ward does not exist any more, it got folded into the Portland Ward in about 1995-ish, the same time the Cornish Ward broke off of it. Most of the folks I knew ended up in the Cornish Ward. Than Saco Broke off of Portland a few years later. I don’t know any body in the Portland and Saco Wards today, it’s all new folks now. And that’s what really gets me – I mean, how do people there even know who I am? I asked Johnny that, and he said it’s because me mom is constantly talking about me. According to Johnny, my mom is “obsessed with you” he said. He added “you should hear her at Wayne’s house, she talks about you all day long”. I asked Ben, if he knew anything about that, because, I rarely ever see my mom – like months and months and months go by, between seeing her. Ben told me that she emails him almost daily, and than he forwarded her emails to me – I was stunned! Every one of them was her talking about me and how “evil” I was. She used the words “evil” and “nasty” over and over again to describe me and spent a lot of time talking about my Twighlight Manor books. I found that fact interesting, considering she has yet to read one of my TM books and half the stuff she said I had written in them was not true. Oh well.

I’ve since found out that she has been emailing copies of these same emails to several of my uncles and, some one named “Corbet”, Johnny said that that is some woman from church. Don’t know, never heard of her, so I don’t know why my mom would be saying all that stuff to her. (I found out, because when Ben forwarded the emails to me, all the email addresses my mom had sent the email too was in the box). I don’t know. I just don’t understand it.

I just realized how long this got. Uhm. Yeah, I guess I’ve been writing for the last 2 hours. Whoops. Sorry about that. I guess I should go before I end up writing a whole book here. =P

Well, that’s weird. I just noticed that FB pulled up the link to my Squidoo lens. Didn’t know it did that. Well, there’s a picture of Etiole there. LOL! I spend most of my time on Squidoo and Zazzle and Zanga so I so rarely use IMs, emails, or messages, I’m not too sure how they work I’m afraid. I guess it pulled up the link, like on the status box, because I typed it a ways back. Whatever.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

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Categories: About me · Adults with Aspergers · Aspergers · Aspergers Syndrome · Aspie · Autism · Biddeford · Church Leader · Cryptids · LDS · Maine · Mormons · Old Orchard · Old Orchard Beach · On the Beach · Town of Old Orchard · UFO · UFOs · Violence · Wendy C. Allen · York county · alien abduction · alien contact · aliens · church · church corruption · church leaders · make America the land of the free again · oob · paranormal · stress · threats
Tagged: alien abduction, church corruption, church leaders, EelKat, harassment, LDS, Mormons, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, UFO, Wendy C. Allen, witches

RE to IM on FaceBook – more detailed info about what started the witch accusations and harasment

(ADDED NOTE: I’m a third generation LDS/Saint/Mormon; this answer went to a “new” fellow member who was asking what happened to inspire my previous post, this was my answer:)

I got 3 windows each with 50 tabs open, and speakers on my computer zoned out a while back, so I don’t get the “beep” from FB anymore and even though FB still says I’m online, but I already moved to a different site. It’s sort of hard to keep track of me online, I zip back and forth so much. I was on Zazzle, not FB, so I didn’t see the messages til just now. Sorry.

Nope, didn’t know about the AS group. I’m still sort of new to getting out of the house, it’s kind of hard to get used to doing. I pretty much only ever leave to go to the writer’s meetings (NaNoWriMo and Screnzy) and to buy cat food and grain.

The guy that was yelling at me is from the Sanford ward. (It was yesterday). He’s the same one that was accusing me of writing “deframitory” letters to tons of people in the Sanford Ward, though he’s yet to be able to prove that any of those letters actually exist. So I don’t know if there really are letters I supposedly wrote or if that’s just some rumor. He’s sort of weird. I’m used to him showing up every once in a while. Bishop LR got after him about it a while back, and he stopped, but Sanford just changed bishops, so, I don’t know, I guess he thinks he can try it again. Anyways my mom emails him, (I guess she emails every body, because I’ve had to change my email 34 times as a result of her emailing people who than email me in a rage over whatever it is she has said at that moment.) and that’s usually what sets him off.

My mom showed up at the yard today, with the same accusations – witchcraft, proof being my lack of shoes. I don’t where she comes up with this from, but I guess seeing how she’s saying the same stuff the next day, that she’s the one who got him saying it. (He’s got mental problems and tends to repeat whatever he hears some one else say, so I’m not too worried about him, because I know he’s just parroting some thing he heard some one else say. It’s the person he’s repeating that bothers me.) But yeah, seeing how my mom showed up with the exact same accusation, I guess she’s the one who said it to him to begin with. After he accused me of the letters in Sanford, my mom showed up a few hours later that same day accusing me of letters in Saco, so I’m not sure what to think there. I’d still like to see one of these letters, because last time letters like that showed up, well, the only time letters like that showed up, and I actually saw one, it turned out that it was written by one of my mom’s brothers, not me, like every one thought. It’s the only time a letter ever actually came forward though, so I don’t believe the poison pen letter accusations half the time, because it’s so rare that they can ever provide proof that the letters they accuse me of writing, are even real at all.

I guess, it’s always my mom that gets people all wound up, at least from what I’m finding out these past few months. I know from what Bishop K said that it was my mom complaining to him, because he was quoting stuff, word for word the way my mom says them – demon possession, spell casting, curses, me being a witch. I’m just so sick of it. It hurts when people call me a witch or say I’m demon possessed, but than I’ve got Autism so they think I don’t have any feelings to hurt. I just never can understand how folks can believe her. The whole believing that demons and witches are real, is just something I can’t get my mind around. It’s so illogical. I can not understand how my mom or her brothers or Bishop M or Bishop K can believe in those things.

Of course, I don’t understand how come every time a new Bishop or Stake Pres comes in, I have to be retried all over again. Double Jeopardy is illegal in the USA. The first time I got called in for “apostasy”, “witch craft”, “demon possession” and consideration for excommunication was when I was just 12 years old. That was Bishop Re and Stake Pres S. Bishop Re is the one who got released after having a mental breakdown. Stake Pres. S said there was no ground to excommunicate me than, because I was neither witch nor demon possessed nor apostate.

Than Bishop Ri called me in about 2 years later, said complaints of demon possession and witchcraft had been made again, but that he was no going to do anything about it, because he did not believe the complaint.

Bishop M replaced him, and at the same time Stake Pres E took over for S and it stated all over again. That time Bishop M brought in doctors from Pine Land Center, he claimed I was not only a demon possessed witch, but that I was schizophrenic as well. He tried several times to have me excommunicated between the ages of 14 through 17, each time he didn’t get any where with it.

Bishop B wanted to have all 264 of us (me and my relatives) excommunicated and is the one who told me “white trash like you and the rest of the Atwater clan don’t belong in this church”. That happened 13 years ago and was why I stopped going to the Cape Elizabeth Ward.

Cape E Ward broke off and became the Portland and Saco Wards instead, but by that time I had started going to the Sanford Ward.

That was when the vandalism started in. At first it was just rock throwing and stuff, but than the dead animals and photos of guns started showing up. In 2003 the drive by paint ball shootings started. They messed up my horse really bad, tore out half of her face and cut out both her eyes. It got so bad that the OOB police stationed a motorcycle cop to patrol Portland Ave. That’s when I stopped going to the Sanford Ward, because the police offices said they had evidence that it was people from church behind the vandalism. They had a list of suspects, all of them were from one of 5 different churches – 3 of the churches being the Saco, Portland, and Sanford LDS Wards. That’s when the reports and paparazzi got involved, one of the officers contacted the state police and one of them called ABC. We had reporters and photographers all over our land for about 3 months. That’s when my agoraphobia set it. Between the vandals killing my pets and the paint ballers and the reporters asking me questions and the police constantly warning us about who to avoid – I just freaked out big time. I couldn’t handle it.

Between 2001 and 2004 we had court dates on an almost weekly basis. I went to the early ones, but as the reporters and such got more involved, I stopped going to them. The later court dates from 2003 – 2005 I did not attend, except for one in summer of 2005, when I had a total meltdown in the court and the judge sent me to a psychiatrist. That’s when I found out I had Autism (Shizotypal Aspergers with OCD tendencies).

After the court stuff ended, my mom got something like $20K in the settlement, that’s when the vandalism went out of hand and our house got burned down.

Next thing we know, DHS is at the tent and telling us about an FBI investigation into OOB town manager, and that there were about 40 families on Portland Ave and Walnut Str that were involved, most every one of them had lost their homes, nearly all of them had been driven out of town, they couldn’t handle the stress. It was DHS that told us about Thomas and the other folks from the Saco Ward being investigated because some $3million had been embezzled out of town funds. That’s how I found out that the town manager and the town council were all members of the Saco Ward. OOB had to get rid of every one working in the town hall, and I had to deal with gov workers asking me questions left and right, only I didn’t know anything about all that stuff so finally they stopped coming over. I never did understand all that stuff with the DHS and the FBI and the town manager. No one ever gave us much information, they just wanted to know what we knew about it. In any case, finding that stuff out, freaked me out even more, because the guy they were investigating was a high priest in the Saco ward and the OOB town manager. They had records of how he’d been run out of 4 states already and he was constantly going from state to state to evade them. Finding that out, just scared the hell out of me and after that, I just stopped trusting every one.

I mean, you think you can trust a high priest right? You think you can trust your town manager right? But than the police and DHS tell us that these people we thought we could trust were the ones behind all the violence and death, and it just shatters your ability to trust any one after that. Now I don’t know who I can trust any more. But than, when all this was going on, normally I would have turned to the church for help, but I don’t any more because every time I do, the members and leaders start calling me a witch and telling me I’ve no right to be in church. I still don’t understand why people call me a witch.

I know several complaints happen because of the whole color thing. I see these glowing colors around people, which I thought every one saw. I didn’t realize until my late teens that other folks did not see them, or that it freaked people out when I talked about seeing them. But the whole me being a witch and casting spells and curses comes from that, because there were several times when I told people *that person* is about to die, and than within a few hours to a few days they did. People freaked out and said I made those people die, but what happened was, your color leaves and dissapers before your die, and if I see someone with no color, I know they’ll die soon. I was only 5 or 6 years old when I used to say those things, so the accusations of witchcraft and curses started early. That’s how the rumor got started at least. But that’s Autism, not witchcraft, so I don’t see how they can use that to call me a witch.

Than of course my encounter with whatever it is that Etiole is, is what started the accusations of me being demon possessed. I may not know what it is that Etiole is, but I do know what he is not, and he most certainly is not a demon. I assume you must know about Etiole, since it seems like every one does, but if not, I wrote all about him here: http://www.squidoo.com/amphibious-aliens so many folks kept asking me for more info about him, that I finally just wrote it down and now instead of reanswering everyone I just direct them to that link. It’s easier. And, again, though not many folks have ever seen Etiole, a few have, and they were not witches any more than I am, so I don’t see how my contact with him could make me a witch or demon possessed. Ben’s thoughts on the matter are that people who call Etiole a demon are silly, because (according to Ben) Etiole is an alien, some sort of Gray Hybrid or some such thing. (When Ben is not being a high priest, he spends his time being a ufologist.) I’m not sure what to think of Ben’s whole alien/alien abduction theory, but at least it makes more logical sense than the demon possession theory my mom’s always preaching. Personally, I’ve always thought of Etiole as a Faerie, which I say to mean a natural all be it rare, cryptiod creature, not some supernatural being or an extraterrestrial.

My mom’s constant accusations that first my Dodge and now my Volvo, are possessed by demons, baffles me. I have no explanation for her reasoning, other than I guess she is suggesting that Etiole somehow possesses them. I don’t know. I think the accusation that my cars have demons is the least logical and most confusing of any of the accusations to date.

A few years ago, in about 2005, I decided to look into this whole witch thing, to try to find out why folks kept saying I was a witch, but after talking to several wiccan-witches, they all told me the same thing – that there was no way in hell I was a witch because I was so much of a “super Christian Jesus freak”. Last spring some folks online said they thought I was more of an old fashioned Christian, the type like followed Jesus when he was still alive, and that today they are called ChristoPagans, which are neither witches nor what modern tradition calls Christian. I don’t know. I can’t figure any of it out. Christian call me a witch and witches call me a Jesus Freak, neither accept me as an equal. But still, after looking into the whole witch/wicca thing, I still can’t figure out why folks keep calling me a witch, and neither could any of the witches I talked to. They said the witch accusation was most likely based on my mode of dress. They thought it was most likely that folks look at my clothes and assume I’m a witch because of the things I wear.

But I don’t understand that either. You see, my grandmother was an Indian. She was a Kickapoo and lived much of her life in Hawaii. Because of her culture she wore muu-muu and kimono and long robes and stuff. She didn’t want her culture to die, like most native cultures had, but she couldn’t remember most of her native heritage, but her clothe connected her to her ancestors, it was the only part of her culture she had ever been taught (she was an orphan, in a time when Indians were still “red skin savages” so a lot of her culture history was lost.). As an adult she traveled around the world looking for information about her family history. That’s why she spent a lot of time in Hawiaii and Japan. I spent most of my childhood with her, because my mom was always in the hospital, and so, I grew up wearing muu-muus and kimono and robes and stuff, because that’s the way our native culture dressed. When she died in 1994, I inherited everything, including her collection of antique Hawaiian muu-muus and Japanese Kimono, which is what I have worn ever since I inherited them. The way I dress has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with my Native American culture, so I don’t understand why people look at the way I dress and call me a witch because of my cloths.

So, I mean, I can see where they are basing the witch accusations from (the Autism, Etiole, and my clothes), but I just can’t understand how they can actually believe such nonsense as to think I am a witch, because none of those things makes me a witch on their own, and even all three together can’t classify me as a witch either.

Bishop K did a lot of complaining about my cloths the day he called me to his office. I tried to explain about my grandmother, but my ability to speak coherently is not good. I’ve always had trouble making words come out of my mouth properly and that’s why I write things down instead. He kept saying I was a witch and putting spells on church members, and than he’d comment about my cloths.

The witch accusation upset me. I’ve gone through this every time a new bishop comes in. I don’t know who it is that runs to every bishop complaining about me and calling me a witch, but this has happened with 16 bishops and 3 stake presidents now. Every time I get told I’m a demon possessed witch casting spells and curses. Every time it’s eventually found out the accusations are false. Every time the monthly, sometimes weekly meetings with the bishop and stake pres drag on for 6 or 7 months. Double Jeopardy is illegal in the USA. You can’t retry some one for a crime they were already tried for and proven innocent. And yet, here we go again, with bishop number 16 and stake pres number 3. That’s double jeopardy 16 times! Why? I’ve already been dragged before 15 different counsels, each time with the same accusation of apostasy and witchcraft and excommunication threats. Sixteen times since I was 12 years old! Each time has 6 or 7 meetings. WHY? Why do I have to go through this every time a new bishop or a new stake pres comes into the ward?

Do you have any idea how stressful this is? And people keep asking me why I don’t come back to church? Why should I? What incentive is there for me to attend meetings at church, when I won’t get the chance to attend half of meetings because I’m too busy being called into the bishop’s office where I get accused of being a witch? Most of the meetings took place on Sunday, they’s take me right out of Primary or Young Woman’s classes. I missed more than half of my Sunday meetings because I had to sit in the bishop’s office every Sunday being told I was some evil apostate witch. How can they expect me to want to go to church when I’m not allowed to attend the meetings when I do come in?

I used to go to whatever ward Ben was attending, but I’ve been with him since I was 12, (he’s 30 years older than me) which in the Cape Elez Ward no one cared much about that, a few folks complained, but not many and no one did anything about it. In the Sanford Ward though, one of the members was a DHS social worker, and some how she found out about how old I was when I started going out with Ben, and even though I was 27 by the time she found out about it, she raised hell for him, she wanted him to be put in prison and tried to get me to press charges against him, she really went overboard about it and he got into a lot of trouble and he almost got excommunicated over it, and now he’s terrified to be seen in church with me.

I don’t know why she flipped out like that, because I was 27 years old at the time, yeah I was 12, but well, if she had ever read the church handbook, the church puts 12 years old as the legal marriage age, so, whatever. Anyways, Ben is just terrified out of his mind over the whole ordeal and that’s why he called off the wedding a few weeks before the wedding date. (He has huge phobia problems, and the DHS threats made them worse.) A lot of folks in the Sanford Ward threatened to never speak to him again if we got married, so now he hides the fact that we are together. We were supposed to get married in the temple, but they would not allow it. They took Ben’s temple recommend away and said I was not allowed to have on on grounds of “mental incompetency”. Some folks called me a “grave digger” and others called me a “gold digger” and others said I was with Ben because I wanted to be “a lovely young widow”. Uhm . . . at the time Ben had A LOT of money. His dad is one of the wealthiest men in Kennebunk Port. I did not know all of that at the time though, because I had never meet Ben’s dad and Ben had never once in those first 15 years ever mentioned his job or money. I had no idea he had all that money, not until folks in the Sanford Ward started saying those things to me. Their words hurt me more than anything else ever could. Of course, since than, Ben has lost all that money, and well, I proved them wrong because all these years later, I’m still with him.

But that’s why I stopped going to the Sanford Ward. The whole freak out over the 30 year age difference was a really big issue for people there, though I still don’t understand why. That happened 7 years ago and I had hoped that they had calmed down some about our huge age difference. I went back to Sanford once this last summer, and well, let’s just say I was most diffenatly not welcomed there. I was there all of 10 minutes before Ben had to rush me out of the building and we left. Ben didn’t dare go back to church for a few weeks after that, so I haven’t tried going back to Sanford since. It’s really upsetting that people can hate me like that, just because I’m 30 years younger than Ben. It’s the one thing of all of everything, that has bothered me more than anything else. I want so desperately to attend church with Ben again, but I’m not allowed to, people just go nuts when they see us together. That upsets me more than the witch accusations from the Cape Elizabeth and Saco Wards do.

So, I just don’t go to church at all any more, as you can see, for a lot of reasons. The witch and demon accusations I could ignore. I sort of grew up with them, and while they hurt my feelings and stress me out, I’ve sort of gotten used to them. I try to ignore them. It’s the accusations involving me and Ben and our age difference, that upsets me most of all. I find it very hard to ignore these, because they effect our relationship. They stress Ben and, he just does not deal with stress well at all. He freaks out and goes into hiding and doesn’t dare to contact anyone, not even me – uhm, yeah, he has all sorts of alien abduction fears and stuff, and rambles on ufo stuff all the time, and whenever any one freaks him out, he just goes super paranoid, and the whole deal with folks freaking out over our age difference sort of freaked him out worse than most other stuff does, and seeing him get all upset over it, made me even more upset than I already was over it. So all in all, that hurts my feelings and upsets me more than the witch accusations do. And, well, if they are not going to let me attend church with Ben anymore, and over such a stupid reason just because he’s 30 years older than me, than really, I’ve lost all desire to go to church at all now, because I have a hard time seeing how Jesus would think well of a church that breaks up families, the way folks there are trying to break up me and Ben. Me an Ben have been together for 22 years. We meet in church. Church was such a big thing for us. We attending every meeting – the morning meetings the evening meetings (the church stopped doing the double meetings in the mid 1980′s) and all the week day meetings. We used to come do the landscaping, and cleaning the building, and repairing the roof, and decorating for youth dances, etc. For years we spent an average of 12 to 15 hours a week in church. That was in Cape Elizabeth, before they consolidated the Cape Elizabeth and Portland Wards.

The Cape Elizabeth Ward does not exist any more, it got folded into the Portland Ward in about 1995-ish, the same time the Cornish Ward broke off of it. Most of the folks I knew ended up in the Cornish Ward. Than Saco Broke off of Portland a few years later. I don’t know any body in the Portland and Saco Wards today, it’s all new folks now. And that’s what really gets me – I mean, how do people there even know who I am? I asked Johnny that, and he said it’s because me mom is constantly talking about me. According to Johnny, my mom is “obsessed with you” he said. He added “you should hear her at Wayne’s house, she talks about you all day long”. I asked Ben, if he knew anything about that, because, I rarely ever see my mom – like months and months and months go by, between seeing her. Ben told me that she emails him almost daily, and than he forwarded her emails to me – I was stunned! Every one of them was her talking about me and how “evil” I was. She used the words “evil” and “nasty” over and over again to describe me and spent a lot of time talking about my Twighlight Manor books. I found that fact interesting, considering she has yet to read one of my TM books and half the stuff she said I had written in them was not true. Oh well.

I’ve since found out that she has been emailing copies of these same emails to several of my uncles and, some one named “Corbet”, Johnny said that that is some woman from church. Don’t know, never heard of her, so I don’t know why my mom would be saying all that stuff to her. (I found out, because when Ben forwarded the emails to me, all the email addresses my mom had sent the email too was in the box). I don’t know. I just don’t understand it.

I just realized how long this got. Uhm. Yeah, I guess I’ve been writing for the last 2 hours. Whoops. Sorry about that. I guess I should go before I end up writing a whole book here. =P

Well, that’s weird. I just noticed that FB pulled up the link to my Squidoo lens. Didn’t know it did that. Well, there’s a picture of Etiole there. LOL! I spend most of my time on Squidoo and Zazzle and Zanga so I so rarely use IMs, emails, or messages, I’m not too sure how they work I’m afraid. I guess it pulled up the link, like on the status box, because I typed it a ways back. Whatever.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

RE to IM on FaceBook – more detailed info about what started the witch accusations and harasment

(ADDED NOTE: I’m a third generation LDS/Saint/Mormon; this answer went to a “new” fellow member who was asking what happened to inspire my previous post, this was my answer:)

I got 3 windows each with 50 tabs open, and speakers on my computer zoned out a while back, so I don’t get the “beep” from FB anymore and even though FB still says I’m online, but I already moved to a different site. It’s sort of hard to keep track of me online, I zip back and forth so much. I was on Zazzle, not FB, so I didn’t see the messages til just now. Sorry.

Nope, didn’t know about the AS group. I’m still sort of new to getting out of the house, it’s kind of hard to get used to doing. I pretty much only ever leave to go to the writer’s meetings (NaNoWriMo and Screnzy) and to buy cat food and grain.

The guy that was yelling at me is from the Sanford ward. (It was yesterday). He’s the same one that was accusing me of writing “deframitory” letters to tons of people in the Sanford Ward, though he’s yet to be able to prove that any of those letters actually exist. So I don’t know if there really are letters I supposedly wrote or if that’s just some rumor. He’s sort of weird. I’m used to him showing up every once in a while. Bishop LR got after him about it a while back, and he stopped, but Sanford just changed bishops, so, I don’t know, I guess he thinks he can try it again. Anyways my mom emails him, (I guess she emails every body, because I’ve had to change my email 34 times as a result of her emailing people who than email me in a rage over whatever it is she has said at that moment.) and that’s usually what sets him off.

My mom showed up at the yard today, with the same accusations – witchcraft, proof being my lack of shoes. I don’t where she comes up with this from, but I guess seeing how she’s saying the same stuff the next day, that she’s the one who got him saying it. (He’s got mental problems and tends to repeat whatever he hears some one else say, so I’m not too worried about him, because I know he’s just parroting some thing he heard some one else say. It’s the person he’s repeating that bothers me.) But yeah, seeing how my mom showed up with the exact same accusation, I guess she’s the one who said it to him to begin with. After he accused me of the letters in Sanford, my mom showed up a few hours later that same day accusing me of letters in Saco, so I’m not sure what to think there. I’d still like to see one of these letters, because last time letters like that showed up, well, the only time letters like that showed up, and I actually saw one, it turned out that it was written by one of my mom’s brothers, not me, like every one thought. It’s the only time a letter ever actually came forward though, so I don’t believe the poison pen letter accusations half the time, because it’s so rare that they can ever provide proof that the letters they accuse me of writing, are even real at all.

I guess, it’s always my mom that gets people all wound up, at least from what I’m finding out these past few months. I know from what Bishop K said that it was my mom complaining to him, because he was quoting stuff, word for word the way my mom says them – demon possession, spell casting, curses, me being a witch. I’m just so sick of it. It hurts when people call me a witch or say I’m demon possessed, but than I’ve got Autism so they think I don’t have any feelings to hurt. I just never can understand how folks can believe her. The whole believing that demons and witches are real, is just something I can’t get my mind around. It’s so illogical. I can not understand how my mom or her brothers or Bishop M or Bishop K can believe in those things.

Of course, I don’t understand how come every time a new Bishop or Stake Pres comes in, I have to be retried all over again. Double Jeopardy is illegal in the USA. The first time I got called in for “apostasy”, “witch craft”, “demon possession” and consideration for excommunication was when I was just 12 years old. That was Bishop Re and Stake Pres S. Bishop Re is the one who got released after having a mental breakdown. Stake Pres. S said there was no ground to excommunicate me than, because I was neither witch nor demon possessed nor apostate.

Than Bishop Ri called me in about 2 years later, said complaints of demon possession and witchcraft had been made again, but that he was no going to do anything about it, because he did not believe the complaint.

Bishop M replaced him, and at the same time Stake Pres E took over for S and it stated all over again. That time Bishop M brought in doctors from Pine Land Center, he claimed I was not only a demon possessed witch, but that I was schizophrenic as well. He tried several times to have me excommunicated between the ages of 14 through 17, each time he didn’t get any where with it.

Bishop B wanted to have all 264 of us (me and my relatives) excommunicated and is the one who told me “white trash like you and the rest of the Atwater clan don’t belong in this church”. That happened 13 years ago and was why I stopped going to the Cape Elizabeth Ward.

Cape E Ward broke off and became the Portland and Saco Wards instead, but by that time I had started going to the Sanford Ward.

That was when the vandalism started in. At first it was just rock throwing and stuff, but than the dead animals and photos of guns started showing up. In 2003 the drive by paint ball shootings started. They messed up my horse really bad, tore out half of her face and cut out both her eyes. It got so bad that the OOB police stationed a motorcycle cop to patrol Portland Ave. That’s when I stopped going to the Sanford Ward, because the police offices said they had evidence that it was people from church behind the vandalism. They had a list of suspects, all of them were from one of 5 different churches – 3 of the churches being the Saco, Portland, and Sanford LDS Wards. That’s when the reports and paparazzi got involved, one of the officers contacted the state police and one of them called ABC. We had reporters and photographers all over our land for about 3 months. That’s when my agoraphobia set it. Between the vandals killing my pets and the paint ballers and the reporters asking me questions and the police constantly warning us about who to avoid – I just freaked out big time. I couldn’t handle it.

Between 2001 and 2004 we had court dates on an almost weekly basis. I went to the early ones, but as the reporters and such got more involved, I stopped going to them. The later court dates from 2003 – 2005 I did not attend, except for one in summer of 2005, when I had a total meltdown in the court and the judge sent me to a psychiatrist. That’s when I found out I had Autism (Shizotypal Aspergers with OCD tendencies).

After the court stuff ended, my mom got something like $20K in the settlement, that’s when the vandalism went out of hand and our house got burned down.

Next thing we know, DHS is at the tent and telling us about an FBI investigation into OOB town manager, and that there were about 40 families on Portland Ave and Walnut Str that were involved, most every one of them had lost their homes, nearly all of them had been driven out of town, they couldn’t handle the stress. It was DHS that told us about Thomas and the other folks from the Saco Ward being investigated because some $3million had been embezzled out of town funds. That’s how I found out that the town manager and the town council were all members of the Saco Ward. OOB had to get rid of every one working in the town hall, and I had to deal with gov workers asking me questions left and right, only I didn’t know anything about all that stuff so finally they stopped coming over. I never did understand all that stuff with the DHS and the FBI and the town manager. No one ever gave us much information, they just wanted to know what we knew about it. In any case, finding that stuff out, freaked me out even more, because the guy they were investigating was a high priest in the Saco ward and the OOB town manager. They had records of how he’d been run out of 4 states already and he was constantly going from state to state to evade them. Finding that out, just scared the hell out of me and after that, I just stopped trusting every one.

I mean, you think you can trust a high priest right? You think you can trust your town manager right? But than the police and DHS tell us that these people we thought we could trust were the ones behind all the violence and death, and it just shatters your ability to trust any one after that. Now I don’t know who I can trust any more. But than, when all this was going on, normally I would have turned to the church for help, but I don’t any more because every time I do, the members and leaders start calling me a witch and telling me I’ve no right to be in church. I still don’t understand why people call me a witch.

I know several complaints happen because of the whole color thing. I see these glowing colors around people, which I thought every one saw. I didn’t realize until my late teens that other folks did not see them, or that it freaked people out when I talked about seeing them. But the whole me being a witch and casting spells and curses comes from that, because there were several times when I told people *that person* is about to die, and than within a few hours to a few days they did. People freaked out and said I made those people die, but what happened was, your color leaves and dissapers before your die, and if I see someone with no color, I know they’ll die soon. I was only 5 or 6 years old when I used to say those things, so the accusations of witchcraft and curses started early. That’s how the rumor got started at least. But that’s Autism, not witchcraft, so I don’t see how they can use that to call me a witch.

Than of course my encounter with whatever it is that Etiole is, is what started the accusations of me being demon possessed. I may not know what it is that Etiole is, but I do know what he is not, and he most certainly is not a demon. I assume you must know about Etiole, since it seems like every one does, but if not, I wrote all about him here: http://www.squidoo.com/amphibious-aliens so many folks kept asking me for more info about him, that I finally just wrote it down and now instead of reanswering everyone I just direct them to that link. It’s easier. And, again, though not many folks have ever seen Etiole, a few have, and they were not witches any more than I am, so I don’t see how my contact with him could make me a witch or demon possessed. Ben’s thoughts on the matter are that people who call Etiole a demon are silly, because (according to Ben) Etiole is an alien, some sort of Gray Hybrid or some such thing. (When Ben is not being a high priest, he spends his time being a ufologist.) I’m not sure what to think of Ben’s whole alien/alien abduction theory, but at least it makes more logical sense than the demon possession theory my mom’s always preaching. Personally, I’ve always thought of Etiole as a Faerie, which I say to mean a natural all be it rare, cryptiod creature, not some supernatural being or an extraterrestrial.

My mom’s constant accusations that first my Dodge and now my Volvo, are possessed by demons, baffles me. I have no explanation for her reasoning, other than I guess she is suggesting that Etiole somehow possesses them. I don’t know. I think the accusation that my cars have demons is the least logical and most confusing of any of the accusations to date.

A few years ago, in about 2005, I decided to look into this whole witch thing, to try to find out why folks kept saying I was a witch, but after talking to several wiccan-witches, they all told me the same thing – that there was no way in hell I was a witch because I was so much of a “super Christian Jesus freak”. Last spring some folks online said they thought I was more of an old fashioned Christian, the type like followed Jesus when he was still alive, and that today they are called ChristoPagans, which are neither witches nor what modern tradition calls Christian. I don’t know. I can’t figure any of it out. Christian call me a witch and witches call me a Jesus Freak, neither accept me as an equal. But still, after looking into the whole witch/wicca thing, I still can’t figure out why folks keep calling me a witch, and neither could any of the witches I talked to. They said the witch accusation was most likely based on my mode of dress. They thought it was most likely that folks look at my clothes and assume I’m a witch because of the things I wear.

But I don’t understand that either. You see, my grandmother was an Indian. She was a Kickapoo and lived much of her life in Hawaii. Because of her culture she wore muu-muu and kimono and long robes and stuff. She didn’t want her culture to die, like most native cultures had, but she couldn’t remember most of her native heritage, but her clothe connected her to her ancestors, it was the only part of her culture she had ever been taught (she was an orphan, in a time when Indians were still “red skin savages” so a lot of her culture history was lost.). As an adult she traveled around the world looking for information about her family history. That’s why she spent a lot of time in Hawiaii and Japan. I spent most of my childhood with her, because my mom was always in the hospital, and so, I grew up wearing muu-muus and kimono and robes and stuff, because that’s the way our native culture dressed. When she died in 1994, I inherited everything, including her collection of antique Hawaiian muu-muus and Japanese Kimono, which is what I have worn ever since I inherited them. The way I dress has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with my Native American culture, so I don’t understand why people look at the way I dress and call me a witch because of my cloths.

So, I mean, I can see where they are basing the witch accusations from (the Autism, Etiole, and my clothes), but I just can’t understand how they can actually believe such nonsense as to think I am a witch, because none of those things makes me a witch on their own, and even all three together can’t classify me as a witch either.

Bishop K did a lot of complaining about my cloths the day he called me to his office. I tried to explain about my grandmother, but my ability to speak coherently is not good. I’ve always had trouble making words come out of my mouth properly and that’s why I write things down instead. He kept saying I was a witch and putting spells on church members, and than he’d comment about my cloths.

The witch accusation upset me. I’ve gone through this every time a new bishop comes in. I don’t know who it is that runs to every bishop complaining about me and calling me a witch, but this has happened with 16 bishops and 3 stake presidents now. Every time I get told I’m a demon possessed witch casting spells and curses. Every time it’s eventually found out the accusations are false. Every time the monthly, sometimes weekly meetings with the bishop and stake pres drag on for 6 or 7 months. Double Jeopardy is illegal in the USA. You can’t retry some one for a crime they were already tried for and proven innocent. And yet, here we go again, with bishop number 16 and stake pres number 3. That’s double jeopardy 16 times! Why? I’ve already been dragged before 15 different counsels, each time with the same accusation of apostasy and witchcraft and excommunication threats. Sixteen times since I was 12 years old! Each time has 6 or 7 meetings. WHY? Why do I have to go through this every time a new bishop or a new stake pres comes into the ward?

Do you have any idea how stressful this is? And people keep asking me why I don’t come back to church? Why should I? What incentive is there for me to attend meetings at church, when I won’t get the chance to attend half of meetings because I’m too busy being called into the bishop’s office where I get accused of being a witch? Most of the meetings took place on Sunday, they’s take me right out of Primary or Young Woman’s classes. I missed more than half of my Sunday meetings because I had to sit in the bishop’s office every Sunday being told I was some evil apostate witch. How can they expect me to want to go to church when I’m not allowed to attend the meetings when I do come in?

I used to go to whatever ward Ben was attending, but I’ve been with him since I was 12, (he’s 30 years older than me) which in the Cape Elez Ward no one cared much about that, a few folks complained, but not many and no one did anything about it. In the Sanford Ward though, one of the members was a DHS social worker, and some how she found out about how old I was when I started going out with Ben, and even though I was 27 by the time she found out about it, she raised hell for him, she wanted him to be put in prison and tried to get me to press charges against him, she really went overboard about it and he got into a lot of trouble and he almost got excommunicated over it, and now he’s terrified to be seen in church with me.

I don’t know why she flipped out like that, because I was 27 years old at the time, yeah I was 12, but well, if she had ever read the church handbook, the church puts 12 years old as the legal marriage age, so, whatever. Anyways, Ben is just terrified out of his mind over the whole ordeal and that’s why he called off the wedding a few weeks before the wedding date. (He has huge phobia problems, and the DHS threats made them worse.) A lot of folks in the Sanford Ward threatened to never speak to him again if we got married, so now he hides the fact that we are together. We were supposed to get married in the temple, but they would not allow it. They took Ben’s temple recommend away and said I was not allowed to have on on grounds of “mental incompetency”. Some folks called me a “grave digger” and others called me a “gold digger” and others said I was with Ben because I wanted to be “a lovely young widow”. Uhm . . . at the time Ben had A LOT of money. His dad is one of the wealthiest men in Kennebunk Port. I did not know all of that at the time though, because I had never meet Ben’s dad and Ben had never once in those first 15 years ever mentioned his job or money. I had no idea he had all that money, not until folks in the Sanford Ward started saying those things to me. Their words hurt me more than anything else ever could. Of course, since than, Ben has lost all that money, and well, I proved them wrong because all these years later, I’m still with him.

But that’s why I stopped going to the Sanford Ward. The whole freak out over the 30 year age difference was a really big issue for people there, though I still don’t understand why. That happened 7 years ago and I had hoped that they had calmed down some about our huge age difference. I went back to Sanford once this last summer, and well, let’s just say I was most diffenatly not welcomed there. I was there all of 10 minutes before Ben had to rush me out of the building and we left. Ben didn’t dare go back to church for a few weeks after that, so I haven’t tried going back to Sanford since. It’s really upsetting that people can hate me like that, just because I’m 30 years younger than Ben. It’s the one thing of all of everything, that has bothered me more than anything else. I want so desperately to attend church with Ben again, but I’m not allowed to, people just go nuts when they see us together. That upsets me more than the witch accusations from the Cape Elizabeth and Saco Wards do.

So, I just don’t go to church at all any more, as you can see, for a lot of reasons. The witch and demon accusations I could ignore. I sort of grew up with them, and while they hurt my feelings and stress me out, I’ve sort of gotten used to them. I try to ignore them. It’s the accusations involving me and Ben and our age difference, that upsets me most of all. I find it very hard to ignore these, because they effect our relationship. They stress Ben and, he just does not deal with stress well at all. He freaks out and goes into hiding and doesn’t dare to contact anyone, not even me – uhm, yeah, he has all sorts of alien abduction fears and stuff, and rambles on ufo stuff all the time, and whenever any one freaks him out, he just goes super paranoid, and the whole deal with folks freaking out over our age difference sort of freaked him out worse than most other stuff does, and seeing him get all upset over it, made me even more upset than I already was over it. So all in all, that hurts my feelings and upsets me more than the witch accusations do. And, well, if they are not going to let me attend church with Ben anymore, and over such a stupid reason just because he’s 30 years older than me, than really, I’ve lost all desire to go to church at all now, because I have a hard time seeing how Jesus would think well of a church that breaks up families, the way folks there are trying to break up me and Ben. Me an Ben have been together for 22 years. We meet in church. Church was such a big thing for us. We attending every meeting – the morning meetings the evening meetings (the church stopped doing the double meetings in the mid 1980′s) and all the week day meetings. We used to come do the landscaping, and cleaning the building, and repairing the roof, and decorating for youth dances, etc. For years we spent an average of 12 to 15 hours a week in church. That was in Cape Elizabeth, before they consolidated the Cape Elizabeth and Portland Wards.

The Cape Elizabeth Ward does not exist any more, it got folded into the Portland Ward in about 1995-ish, the same time the Cornish Ward broke off of it. Most of the folks I knew ended up in the Cornish Ward. Than Saco Broke off of Portland a few years later. I don’t know any body in the Portland and Saco Wards today, it’s all new folks now. And that’s what really gets me – I mean, how do people there even know who I am? I asked Johnny that, and he said it’s because me mom is constantly talking about me. According to Johnny, my mom is “obsessed with you” he said. He added “you should hear her at Wayne’s house, she talks about you all day long”. I asked Ben, if he knew anything about that, because, I rarely ever see my mom – like months and months and months go by, between seeing her. Ben told me that she emails him almost daily, and than he forwarded her emails to me – I was stunned! Every one of them was her talking about me and how “evil” I was. She used the words “evil” and “nasty” over and over again to describe me and spent a lot of time talking about my Twighlight Manor books. I found that fact interesting, considering she has yet to read one of my TM books and half the stuff she said I had written in them was not true. Oh well.

I’ve since found out that she has been emailing copies of these same emails to several of my uncles and, some one named “Corbet”, Johnny said that that is some woman from church. Don’t know, never heard of her, so I don’t know why my mom would be saying all that stuff to her. (I found out, because when Ben forwarded the emails to me, all the email addresses my mom had sent the email too was in the box). I don’t know. I just don’t understand it.

I just realized how long this got. Uhm. Yeah, I guess I’ve been writing for the last 2 hours. Whoops. Sorry about that. I guess I should go before I end up writing a whole book here. =P

Well, that’s weird. I just noticed that FB pulled up the link to my Squidoo lens. Didn’t know it did that. Well, there’s a picture of Etiole there. LOL! I spend most of my time on Squidoo and Zazzle and Zanga so I so rarely use IMs, emails, or messages, I’m not too sure how they work I’m afraid. I guess it pulled up the link, like on the status box, because I typed it a ways back. Whatever.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

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If you liked reading this blog and want to read more stuff written by me, I have lots of websites, where you can read other things I write, here are a few of the ones I like the best:
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RE to IM on FaceBook – more detailed info about what started the witch accusations and harasment

(ADDED NOTE: I’m a third generation LDS/Saint/Mormon; this answer went to a “new” fellow member who was asking what happened to inspire my previous post, this was my answer:)

I got 3 windows each with 50 tabs open, and speakers on my computer zoned out a while back, so I don’t get the “beep” from FB anymore and even though FB still says I’m online, but I already moved to a different site. It’s sort of hard to keep track of me online, I zip back and forth so much. I was on Zazzle, not FB, so I didn’t see the messages til just now. Sorry.

Nope, didn’t know about the AS group. I’m still sort of new to getting out of the house, it’s kind of hard to get used to doing. I pretty much only ever leave to go to the writer’s meetings (NaNoWriMo and Screnzy) and to buy cat food and grain.

The guy that was yelling at me is from the Sanford ward. (It was yesterday). He’s the same one that was accusing me of writing “deframitory” letters to tons of people in the Sanford Ward, though he’s yet to be able to prove that any of those letters actually exist. So I don’t know if there really are letters I supposedly wrote or if that’s just some rumor. He’s sort of weird. I’m used to him showing up every once in a while. Bishop LR got after him about it a while back, and he stopped, but Sanford just changed bishops, so, I don’t know, I guess he thinks he can try it again. Anyways my mom emails him, (I guess she emails every body, because I’ve had to change my email 34 times as a result of her emailing people who than email me in a rage over whatever it is she has said at that moment.) and that’s usually what sets him off.

My mom showed up at the yard today, with the same accusations – witchcraft, proof being my lack of shoes. I don’t where she comes up with this from, but I guess seeing how she’s saying the same stuff the next day, that she’s the one who got him saying it. (He’s got mental problems and tends to repeat whatever he hears some one else say, so I’m not too worried about him, because I know he’s just parroting some thing he heard some one else say. It’s the person he’s repeating that bothers me.) But yeah, seeing how my mom showed up with the exact same accusation, I guess she’s the one who said it to him to begin with. After he accused me of the letters in Sanford, my mom showed up a few hours later that same day accusing me of letters in Saco, so I’m not sure what to think there. I’d still like to see one of these letters, because last time letters like that showed up, well, the only time letters like that showed up, and I actually saw one, it turned out that it was written by one of my mom’s brothers, not me, like every one thought. It’s the only time a letter ever actually came forward though, so I don’t believe the poison pen letter accusations half the time, because it’s so rare that they can ever provide proof that the letters they accuse me of writing, are even real at all.

I guess, it’s always my mom that gets people all wound up, at least from what I’m finding out these past few months. I know from what Bishop K said that it was my mom complaining to him, because he was quoting stuff, word for word the way my mom says them – demon possession, spell casting, curses, me being a witch. I’m just so sick of it. It hurts when people call me a witch or say I’m demon possessed, but than I’ve got Autism so they think I don’t have any feelings to hurt. I just never can understand how folks can believe her. The whole believing that demons and witches are real, is just something I can’t get my mind around. It’s so illogical. I can not understand how my mom or her brothers or Bishop M or Bishop K can believe in those things.

Of course, I don’t understand how come every time a new Bishop or Stake Pres comes in, I have to be retried all over again. Double Jeopardy is illegal in the USA. The first time I got called in for “apostasy”, “witch craft”, “demon possession” and consideration for excommunication was when I was just 12 years old. That was Bishop Re and Stake Pres S. Bishop Re is the one who got released after having a mental breakdown. Stake Pres. S said there was no ground to excommunicate me than, because I was neither witch nor demon possessed nor apostate.

Than Bishop Ri called me in about 2 years later, said complaints of demon possession and witchcraft had been made again, but that he was no going to do anything about it, because he did not believe the complaint.

Bishop M replaced him, and at the same time Stake Pres E took over for S and it stated all over again. That time Bishop M brought in doctors from Pine Land Center, he claimed I was not only a demon possessed witch, but that I was schizophrenic as well. He tried several times to have me excommunicated between the ages of 14 through 17, each time he didn’t get any where with it.

Bishop B wanted to have all 264 of us (me and my relatives) excommunicated and is the one who told me “white trash like you and the rest of the Atwater clan don’t belong in this church”. That happened 13 years ago and was why I stopped going to the Cape Elizabeth Ward.

Cape E Ward broke off and became the Portland and Saco Wards instead, but by that time I had started going to the Sanford Ward.

That was when the vandalism started in. At first it was just rock throwing and stuff, but than the dead animals and photos of guns started showing up. In 2003 the drive by paint ball shootings started. They messed up my horse really bad, tore out half of her face and cut out both her eyes. It got so bad that the OOB police stationed a motorcycle cop to patrol Portland Ave. That’s when I stopped going to the Sanford Ward, because the police offices said they had evidence that it was people from church behind the vandalism. They had a list of suspects, all of them were from one of 5 different churches – 3 of the churches being the Saco, Portland, and Sanford LDS Wards. That’s when the reports and paparazzi got involved, one of the officers contacted the state police and one of them called ABC. We had reporters and photographers all over our land for about 3 months. That’s when my agoraphobia set it. Between the vandals killing my pets and the paint ballers and the reporters asking me questions and the police constantly warning us about who to avoid – I just freaked out big time. I couldn’t handle it.

Between 2001 and 2004 we had court dates on an almost weekly basis. I went to the early ones, but as the reporters and such got more involved, I stopped going to them. The later court dates from 2003 – 2005 I did not attend, except for one in summer of 2005, when I had a total meltdown in the court and the judge sent me to a psychiatrist. That’s when I found out I had Autism (Shizotypal Aspergers with OCD tendencies).

After the court stuff ended, my mom got something like $20K in the settlement, that’s when the vandalism went out of hand and our house got burned down.

Next thing we know, DHS is at the tent and telling us about an FBI investigation into OOB town manager, and that there were about 40 families on Portland Ave and Walnut Str that were involved, most every one of them had lost their homes, nearly all of them had been driven out of town, they couldn’t handle the stress. It was DHS that told us about Thomas and the other folks from the Saco Ward being investigated because some $3million had been embezzled out of town funds. That’s how I found out that the town manager and the town council were all members of the Saco Ward. OOB had to get rid of every one working in the town hall, and I had to deal with gov workers asking me questions left and right, only I didn’t know anything about all that stuff so finally they stopped coming over. I never did understand all that stuff with the DHS and the FBI and the town manager. No one ever gave us much information, they just wanted to know what we knew about it. In any case, finding that stuff out, freaked me out even more, because the guy they were investigating was a high priest in the Saco ward and the OOB town manager. They had records of how he’d been run out of 4 states already and he was constantly going from state to state to evade them. Finding that out, just scared the hell out of me and after that, I just stopped trusting every one.

I mean, you think you can trust a high priest right? You think you can trust your town manager right? But than the police and DHS tell us that these people we thought we could trust were the ones behind all the violence and death, and it just shatters your ability to trust any one after that. Now I don’t know who I can trust any more. But than, when all this was going on, normally I would have turned to the church for help, but I don’t any more because every time I do, the members and leaders start calling me a witch and telling me I’ve no right to be in church. I still don’t understand why people call me a witch.

I know several complaints happen because of the whole color thing. I see these glowing colors around people, which I thought every one saw. I didn’t realize until my late teens that other folks did not see them, or that it freaked people out when I talked about seeing them. But the whole me being a witch and casting spells and curses comes from that, because there were several times when I told people *that person* is about to die, and than within a few hours to a few days they did. People freaked out and said I made those people die, but what happened was, your color leaves and dissapers before your die, and if I see someone with no color, I know they’ll die soon. I was only 5 or 6 years old when I used to say those things, so the accusations of witchcraft and curses started early. That’s how the rumor got started at least. But that’s Autism, not witchcraft, so I don’t see how they can use that to call me a witch.

Than of course my encounter with whatever it is that Etiole is, is what started the accusations of me being demon possessed. I may not know what it is that Etiole is, but I do know what he is not, and he most certainly is not a demon. I assume you must know about Etiole, since it seems like every one does, but if not, I wrote all about him here: http://www.squidoo.com/amphibious-aliens so many folks kept asking me for more info about him, that I finally just wrote it down and now instead of reanswering everyone I just direct them to that link. It’s easier. And, again, though not many folks have ever seen Etiole, a few have, and they were not witches any more than I am, so I don’t see how my contact with him could make me a witch or demon possessed. Ben’s thoughts on the matter are that people who call Etiole a demon are silly, because (according to Ben) Etiole is an alien, some sort of Gray Hybrid or some such thing. (When Ben is not being a high priest, he spends his time being a ufologist.) I’m not sure what to think of Ben’s whole alien/alien abduction theory, but at least it makes more logical sense than the demon possession theory my mom’s always preaching. Personally, I’ve always thought of Etiole as a Faerie, which I say to mean a natural all be it rare, cryptiod creature, not some supernatural being or an extraterrestrial.

My mom’s constant accusations that first my Dodge and now my Volvo, are possessed by demons, baffles me. I have no explanation for her reasoning, other than I guess she is suggesting that Etiole somehow possesses them. I don’t know. I think the accusation that my cars have demons is the least logical and most confusing of any of the accusations to date.

A few years ago, in about 2005, I decided to look into this whole witch thing, to try to find out why folks kept saying I was a witch, but after talking to several wiccan-witches, they all told me the same thing – that there was no way in hell I was a witch because I was so much of a “super Christian Jesus freak”. Last spring some folks online said they thought I was more of an old fashioned Christian, the type like followed Jesus when he was still alive, and that today they are called ChristoPagans, which are neither witches nor what modern tradition calls Christian. I don’t know. I can’t figure any of it out. Christian call me a witch and witches call me a Jesus Freak, neither accept me as an equal. But still, after looking into the whole witch/wicca thing, I still can’t figure out why folks keep calling me a witch, and neither could any of the witches I talked to. They said the witch accusation was most likely based on my mode of dress. They thought it was most likely that folks look at my clothes and assume I’m a witch because of the things I wear.

But I don’t understand that either. You see, my grandmother was an Indian. She was a Kickapoo and lived much of her life in Hawaii. Because of her culture she wore muu-muu and kimono and long robes and stuff. She didn’t want her culture to die, like most native cultures had, but she couldn’t remember most of her native heritage, but her clothe connected her to her ancestors, it was the only part of her culture she had ever been taught (she was an orphan, in a time when Indians were still “red skin savages” so a lot of her culture history was lost.). As an adult she traveled around the world looking for information about her family history. That’s why she spent a lot of time in Hawiaii and Japan. I spent most of my childhood with her, because my mom was always in the hospital, and so, I grew up wearing muu-muus and kimono and robes and stuff, because that’s the way our native culture dressed. When she died in 1994, I inherited everything, including her collection of antique Hawaiian muu-muus and Japanese Kimono, which is what I have worn ever since I inherited them. The way I dress has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with my Native American culture, so I don’t understand why people look at the way I dress and call me a witch because of my cloths.

So, I mean, I can see where they are basing the witch accusations from (the Autism, Etiole, and my clothes), but I just can’t understand how they can actually believe such nonsense as to think I am a witch, because none of those things makes me a witch on their own, and even all three together can’t classify me as a witch either.

Bishop K did a lot of complaining about my cloths the day he called me to his office. I tried to explain about my grandmother, but my ability to speak coherently is not good. I’ve always had trouble making words come out of my mouth properly and that’s why I write things down instead. He kept saying I was a witch and putting spells on church members, and than he’d comment about my cloths.

The witch accusation upset me. I’ve gone through this every time a new bishop comes in. I don’t know who it is that runs to every bishop complaining about me and calling me a witch, but this has happened with 16 bishops and 3 stake presidents now. Every time I get told I’m a demon possessed witch casting spells and curses. Every time it’s eventually found out the accusations are false. Every time the monthly, sometimes weekly meetings with the bishop and stake pres drag on for 6 or 7 months. Double Jeopardy is illegal in the USA. You can’t retry some one for a crime they were already tried for and proven innocent. And yet, here we go again, with bishop number 16 and stake pres number 3. That’s double jeopardy 16 times! Why? I’ve already been dragged before 15 different counsels, each time with the same accusation of apostasy and witchcraft and excommunication threats. Sixteen times since I was 12 years old! Each time has 6 or 7 meetings. WHY? Why do I have to go through this every time a new bishop or a new stake pres comes into the ward?

Do you have any idea how stressful this is? And people keep asking me why I don’t come back to church? Why should I? What incentive is there for me to attend meetings at church, when I won’t get the chance to attend half of meetings because I’m too busy being called into the bishop’s office where I get accused of being a witch? Most of the meetings took place on Sunday, they’s take me right out of Primary or Young Woman’s classes. I missed more than half of my Sunday meetings because I had to sit in the bishop’s office every Sunday being told I was some evil apostate witch. How can they expect me to want to go to church when I’m not allowed to attend the meetings when I do come in?

I used to go to whatever ward Ben was attending, but I’ve been with him since I was 12, (he’s 30 years older than me) which in the Cape Elez Ward no one cared much about that, a few folks complained, but not many and no one did anything about it. In the Sanford Ward though, one of the members was a DHS social worker, and some how she found out about how old I was when I started going out with Ben, and even though I was 27 by the time she found out about it, she raised hell for him, she wanted him to be put in prison and tried to get me to press charges against him, she really went overboard about it and he got into a lot of trouble and he almost got excommunicated over it, and now he’s terrified to be seen in church with me.

I don’t know why she flipped out like that, because I was 27 years old at the time, yeah I was 12, but well, if she had ever read the church handbook, the church puts 12 years old as the legal marriage age, so, whatever. Anyways, Ben is just terrified out of his mind over the whole ordeal and that’s why he called off the wedding a few weeks before the wedding date. (He has huge phobia problems, and the DHS threats made them worse.) A lot of folks in the Sanford Ward threatened to never speak to him again if we got married, so now he hides the fact that we are together. We were supposed to get married in the temple, but they would not allow it. They took Ben’s temple recommend away and said I was not allowed to have on on grounds of “mental incompetency”. Some folks called me a “grave digger” and others called me a “gold digger” and others said I was with Ben because I wanted to be “a lovely young widow”. Uhm . . . at the time Ben had A LOT of money. His dad is one of the wealthiest men in Kennebunk Port. I did not know all of that at the time though, because I had never meet Ben’s dad and Ben had never once in those first 15 years ever mentioned his job or money. I had no idea he had all that money, not until folks in the Sanford Ward started saying those things to me. Their words hurt me more than anything else ever could. Of course, since than, Ben has lost all that money, and well, I proved them wrong because all these years later, I’m still with him.

But that’s why I stopped going to the Sanford Ward. The whole freak out over the 30 year age difference was a really big issue for people there, though I still don’t understand why. That happened 7 years ago and I had hoped that they had calmed down some about our huge age difference. I went back to Sanford once this last summer, and well, let’s just say I was most diffenatly not welcomed there. I was there all of 10 minutes before Ben had to rush me out of the building and we left. Ben didn’t dare go back to church for a few weeks after that, so I haven’t tried going back to Sanford since. It’s really upsetting that people can hate me like that, just because I’m 30 years younger than Ben. It’s the one thing of all of everything, that has bothered me more than anything else. I want so desperately to attend church with Ben again, but I’m not allowed to, people just go nuts when they see us together. That upsets me more than the witch accusations from the Cape Elizabeth and Saco Wards do.

So, I just don’t go to church at all any more, as you can see, for a lot of reasons. The witch and demon accusations I could ignore. I sort of grew up with them, and while they hurt my feelings and stress me out, I’ve sort of gotten used to them. I try to ignore them. It’s the accusations involving me and Ben and our age difference, that upsets me most of all. I find it very hard to ignore these, because they effect our relationship. They stress Ben and, he just does not deal with stress well at all. He freaks out and goes into hiding and doesn’t dare to contact anyone, not even me – uhm, yeah, he has all sorts of alien abduction fears and stuff, and rambles on ufo stuff all the time, and whenever any one freaks him out, he just goes super paranoid, and the whole deal with folks freaking out over our age difference sort of freaked him out worse than most other stuff does, and seeing him get all upset over it, made me even more upset than I already was over it. So all in all, that hurts my feelings and upsets me more than the witch accusations do. And, well, if they are not going to let me attend church with Ben anymore, and over such a stupid reason just because he’s 30 years older than me, than really, I’ve lost all desire to go to church at all now, because I have a hard time seeing how Jesus would think well of a church that breaks up families, the way folks there are trying to break up me and Ben. Me an Ben have been together for 22 years. We meet in church. Church was such a big thing for us. We attending every meeting – the morning meetings the evening meetings (the church stopped doing the double meetings in the mid 1980′s) and all the week day meetings. We used to come do the landscaping, and cleaning the building, and repairing the roof, and decorating for youth dances, etc. For years we spent an average of 12 to 15 hours a week in church. That was in Cape Elizabeth, before they consolidated the Cape Elizabeth and Portland Wards.

The Cape Elizabeth Ward does not exist any more, it got folded into the Portland Ward in about 1995-ish, the same time the Cornish Ward broke off of it. Most of the folks I knew ended up in the Cornish Ward. Than Saco Broke off of Portland a few years later. I don’t know any body in the Portland and Saco Wards today, it’s all new folks now. And that’s what really gets me – I mean, how do people there even know who I am? I asked Johnny that, and he said it’s because me mom is constantly talking about me. According to Johnny, my mom is “obsessed with you” he said. He added “you should hear her at Wayne’s house, she talks about you all day long”. I asked Ben, if he knew anything about that, because, I rarely ever see my mom – like months and months and months go by, between seeing her. Ben told me that she emails him almost daily, and than he forwarded her emails to me – I was stunned! Every one of them was her talking about me and how “evil” I was. She used the words “evil” and “nasty” over and over again to describe me and spent a lot of time talking about my Twighlight Manor books. I found that fact interesting, considering she has yet to read one of my TM books and half the stuff she said I had written in them was not true. Oh well.

I’ve since found out that she has been emailing copies of these same emails to several of my uncles and, some one named “Corbet”, Johnny said that that is some woman from church. Don’t know, never heard of her, so I don’t know why my mom would be saying all that stuff to her. (I found out, because when Ben forwarded the emails to me, all the email addresses my mom had sent the email too was in the box). I don’t know. I just don’t understand it.

I just realized how long this got. Uhm. Yeah, I guess I’ve been writing for the last 2 hours. Whoops. Sorry about that. I guess I should go before I end up writing a whole book here. =P

Well, that’s weird. I just noticed that FB pulled up the link to my Squidoo lens. Didn’t know it did that. Well, there’s a picture of Etiole there. LOL! I spend most of my time on Squidoo and Zazzle and Zanga so I so rarely use IMs, emails, or messages, I’m not too sure how they work I’m afraid. I guess it pulled up the link, like on the status box, because I typed it a ways back. Whatever.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

. . .

————-
If you liked reading this blog and want to read more stuff written by me, I have lots of websites, where you can read other things I write, here are a few of the ones I like the best:
.
.

.

>Tired of people who don’t care. :( Tired of the harsement. :(

>

More harassment from local church members again today. The weather is at -10F right now. It snowed yesterday. And as I have done for the past 4 years, I was out shoveling the snow while wearing sandals and no socks and a summer cotton dress under a silk kimono. These are the only pair of shoes I have. I have no socks. This is one of only 2 dresses I have. I do not have any thing else to wear. Thanks to local fire bug church members who set fire to my home in October 2006, claiming that I was a witch, possessed by a demon, and casting spells to put curses on them. The fire was, they claimed, an attempt to preform an exorcism. And these are the same people who call me crazy. I’m not the one who believes in demons. I’m not the one who believes in spells and curses. I’m not the one who believes that witches are real. Yep. If I’m crazy what are you?

Anyways, I was out shoveling the snow, when a local church member drives up, gets out of his car, and starts giving me hell, screaming and yelling and carrying on, like I don’t know what. His problem? He was angry because I was almost barefoot out in the snow. He says the fact that I’m wearing summer cloths out in this weather is proof of my being a witch. He says that only witches could stand out there barefoot in the snow like that. He said and I quote: “You should be ashamed of yourself. It’s just ridiculous to dress like that in this weather.”

???

This is a man who is fully aware of the fact that the shoes I wear are the only shoes I have because they are the pair of shoes I was wearing during the fire all those years ago and thus they only pair of shoes I have, thus the reason I am forced to go sockless and wear sandals in this kind of weather. I have nothing warmer to put on my feet. I would wear something warmer if I had something warmer to wear, but fact of the matter is, I have nothing warmer to wear.

This man is also fully aware of the fact that the cloths I am wearing are likewise the only ones which survived the fire. Thus the reason I can not wear anything warmer. You think I like being outside shoveling snow in -10F weather dressed like this? I don’t. I would love to have something warmer to wear.

I don’t like having some one give me hell up one side and down the other like that. If he doesn’t like what I’m wearing, or lack of what I “should” be wearing, than why doesn’t he do something about it? If he REALLY cared he could give me a pair of boots so I didn’t have to wear sandals in the snow. Nope. He doesn’t care though, otherwise he would not be saying that I am dressed like this on purpose or that my dressing like this is proof of my being a witch.

I don’t ask for help, but people don’t have to go out of their way to make things even harder for me. It’s bad enough I have to live like this, I don’t need no good busy bodies giving me hell about things I have no way to change.

And that, for those who asked, is the reason I had this “sudden outburst” on FaceBook earlier today:

What’s on your mind?

http://static.ak.facebook.com/common/redirectiframe.html

EelKat Wendy C. Allen is seriously considering hiring a hitman to kill the Saco Ward bishop and every other jackass who thinks it is alright to call me a witch. I’m am so damn tired of those slanderous mouthed religion crazed bastards. I almost wish I was a witch like they keep saying I am so that I really could put curses on them like they keep saying I am doing.

16 minutes ago · Comment · Like

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

I just can’t understand how these people can be so crazy that they actually believe there are such things as demons, witches, and curses. Nor can I understand why they persist in calling me demon possessed, witch, or how they can say every death and illness in the church is caused by me putting curses on them. What the hell is wrong with these nuts anyways?

13 minutes ago · 

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

and why me? why do they have this obsessive fixation on me? I don’t get it. I have not been to that church in 13 years. Talk about obsessed. SHEESH. Why can’t they stop stalking me?

11 minutes ago · 

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

I have Autism. I see colors around people and can tell what they are feeling, if and where they are hurt or sick and can tell they are going to die within a few hours of their death. So can’t every one else with Autism. Autism does not make me a witch.

7 minutes ago · 

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

Me telling you that person is going to be dead in an hour, is NOT me putting a curse on someone. It’s me telling you that their color went out and if you don’t get them to a doctor NOW they will be dead in an hour. All people with Autism see colors around people like this. That’s what Autism is. Having Autism and thus knowing some one is about to die, is not witchcraft. And any one who thinks it is, has got their head up their ass.

3 minutes ago · Delete

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

Of course, these accusations are coming from a Mormon bishop who owns a bar room, so yeah, it’s not like he’s actually living the gospel anyways, so, who is he to judge me?

2 minutes ago · Delete

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

I don’t think very highly of a Mormon bishop who sells beer. What sort of example is he setting for the youth? It’s these sorts of things that stopped me from going to the LDS church. Hypocrites leading the church. How far the church leadership has fallen.

2 seconds ago · 

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

Tired of people who don’t care. :( Tired of the harsement. :(

More harassment from local church members again today. The weather is at -10F right now. It snowed yesterday. And as I have done for the past 4 years, I was out shoveling the snow while wearing sandals and no socks and a summer cotton dress under a silk kimono. These are the only pair of shoes I have. I have no socks. This is one of only 2 dresses I have. I do not have any thing else to wear. Thanks to local fire bug church members who set fire to my home in October 2006, claiming that I was a witch, possessed by a demon, and casting spells to put curses on them. The fire was, they claimed, an attempt to preform an exorcism. And these are the same people who call me crazy. I’m not the one who believes in demons. I’m not the one who believes in spells and curses. I’m not the one who believes that witches are real. Yep. If I’m crazy what are you?

Anyways, I was out shoveling the snow, when a local church member drives up, gets out of his car, and starts giving me hell, screaming and yelling and carrying on, like I don’t know what. His problem? He was angry because I was almost barefoot out in the snow. He says the fact that I’m wearing summer cloths out in this weather is proof of my being a witch. He says that only witches could stand out there barefoot in the snow like that. He said and I quote: “You should be ashamed of yourself. It’s just ridiculous to dress like that in this weather.”

???

This is a man who is fully aware of the fact that the shoes I wear are the only shoes I have because they are the pair of shoes I was wearing during the fire all those years ago and thus they only pair of shoes I have, thus the reason I am forced to go sockless and wear sandals in this kind of weather. I have nothing warmer to put on my feet. I would wear something warmer if I had something warmer to wear, but fact of the matter is, I have nothing warmer to wear.

This man is also fully aware of the fact that the cloths I am wearing are likewise the only ones which survived the fire. Thus the reason I can not wear anything warmer. You think I like being outside shoveling snow in -10F weather dressed like this? I don’t. I would love to have something warmer to wear.

I don’t like having some one give me hell up one side and down the other like that. If he doesn’t like what I’m wearing, or lack of what I “should” be wearing, than why doesn’t he do something about it? If he REALLY cared he could give me a pair of boots so I didn’t have to wear sandals in the snow. Nope. He doesn’t care though, otherwise he would not be saying that I am dressed like this on purpose or that my dressing like this is proof of my being a witch.

And that, for those who asked, is the reason I had this “sudden outburst” on FaceBook earlier today:

What’s on your mind?

EelKat Wendy C. Allen is seriously considering hiring a hitman to kill the Saco Ward bishop and every other jackass who thinks it is alright to call me a witch. I’m am so damn tired of those slanderous mouthed religion crazed bastards. I almost wish I was a witch like they keep saying I am so that I really could put curses on them like they keep saying I am doing.

16 minutes ago · Comment · Like

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

I just can’t understand how these people can be so crazy that they actually believe there are such things as demons, witches, and curses. Nor can I understand why they persist in calling me demon possessed, witch, or how they can say every death and illness in the church is caused by me putting curses on them. What the hell is wrong with these nuts anyways?

13 minutes ago · 

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

and why me? why do they have this obsessive fixation on me? I don’t get it. I have not been to that church in 13 years. Talk about obsessed. SHEESH. Why can’t they stop stalking me?

11 minutes ago · 

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

I have Autism. I see colors around people and can tell what they are feeling, if and where they are hurt or sick and can tell they are going to die within a few hours of their death. So can’t every one else with Autism. Autism does not make me a witch.

7 minutes ago · 

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

Me telling you that person is going to be dead in an hour, is NOT me putting a curse on someone. It’s me telling you that their color went out and if you don’t get them to a doctor NOW they will be dead in an hour. All people with Autism see colors around people like this. That’s what Autism is. Having Autism and thus knowing some one is about to die, is not witchcraft. And any one who thinks it is, has got their head up their ass.

3 minutes ago · Delete

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

Of course, these accusations are coming from a Mormon bishop who owns a bar room, so yeah, it’s not like he’s actually living the gospel anyways, so, who is he to judge me?

2 minutes ago · Delete

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

I don’t think very highly of a Mormon bishop who sells beer. What sort of example is he setting for the youth? It’s these sorts of things that stopped me from going to the LDS church. Hypocrites leading the church. How far the church leadership has fallen.

2 seconds ago · 

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

Tired of people who don’t care. :( Tired of the harsement. :(

More harassment from local church members again today. The weather is at -10F right now. It snowed yesterday. And as I have done for the past 4 years, I was out shoveling the snow while wearing sandals and no socks and a summer cotton dress under a silk kimono. These are the only pair of shoes I have. I have no socks. This is one of only 2 dresses I have. I do not have any thing else to wear. Thanks to local fire bug church members who set fire to my home in October 2006, claiming that I was a witch, possessed by a demon, and casting spells to put curses on them. The fire was, they claimed, an attempt to preform an exorcism. And these are the same people who call me crazy. I’m not the one who believes in demons. I’m not the one who believes in spells and curses. I’m not the one who believes that witches are real. Yep. If I’m crazy what are you?

Anyways, I was out shoveling the snow, when a local church member drives up, gets out of his car, and starts giving me hell, screaming and yelling and carrying on, like I don’t know what. His problem? He was angry because I was almost barefoot out in the snow. He says the fact that I’m wearing summer cloths out in this weather is proof of my being a witch. He says that only witches could stand out there barefoot in the snow like that. He said and I quote: “You should be ashamed of yourself. It’s just ridiculous to dress like that in this weather.”

???

This is a man who is fully aware of the fact that the shoes I wear are the only shoes I have because they are the pair of shoes I was wearing during the fire all those years ago and thus they only pair of shoes I have, thus the reason I am forced to go sockless and wear sandals in this kind of weather. I have nothing warmer to put on my feet. I would wear something warmer if I had something warmer to wear, but fact of the matter is, I have nothing warmer to wear.

This man is also fully aware of the fact that the cloths I am wearing are likewise the only ones which survived the fire. Thus the reason I can not wear anything warmer. You think I like being outside shoveling snow in -10F weather dressed like this? I don’t. I would love to have something warmer to wear.

I don’t like having some one give me hell up one side and down the other like that. If he doesn’t like what I’m wearing, or lack of what I “should” be wearing, than why doesn’t he do something about it? If he REALLY cared he could give me a pair of boots so I didn’t have to wear sandals in the snow. Nope. He doesn’t care though, otherwise he would not be saying that I am dressed like this on purpose or that my dressing like this is proof of my being a witch.

I don’t ask for help, but people don’t have to go out of their way to make things even harder for me. It’s bad enough I have to live like this, I don’t need no good busy bodies giving me hell about things I have no way to change.

And that, for those who asked, is the reason I had this “sudden outburst” on FaceBook earlier today:

What’s on your mind?

http://static.ak.facebook.com/common/redirectiframe.html

EelKat Wendy C. Allen is seriously considering hiring a hitman to kill the Saco Ward bishop and every other jackass who thinks it is alright to call me a witch. I’m am so damn tired of those slanderous mouthed religion crazed bastards. I almost wish I was a witch like they keep saying I am so that I really could put curses on them like they keep saying I am doing.

16 minutes ago · Comment · Like

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

I just can’t understand how these people can be so crazy that they actually believe there are such things as demons, witches, and curses. Nor can I understand why they persist in calling me demon possessed, witch, or how they can say every death and illness in the church is caused by me putting curses on them. What the hell is wrong with these nuts anyways?

13 minutes ago · 

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

and why me? why do they have this obsessive fixation on me? I don’t get it. I have not been to that church in 13 years. Talk about obsessed. SHEESH. Why can’t they stop stalking me?

11 minutes ago · 

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

I have Autism. I see colors around people and can tell what they are feeling, if and where they are hurt or sick and can tell they are going to die within a few hours of their death. So can’t every one else with Autism. Autism does not make me a witch.

7 minutes ago · 

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

Me telling you that person is going to be dead in an hour, is NOT me putting a curse on someone. It’s me telling you that their color went out and if you don’t get them to a doctor NOW they will be dead in an hour. All people with Autism see colors around people like this. That’s what Autism is. Having Autism and thus knowing some one is about to die, is not witchcraft. And any one who thinks it is, has got their head up their ass.

3 minutes ago · Delete

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

Of course, these accusations are coming from a Mormon bishop who owns a bar room, so yeah, it’s not like he’s actually living the gospel anyways, so, who is he to judge me?

2 minutes ago · Delete

EelKat Wendy C. Allen 

I don’t think very highly of a Mormon bishop who sells beer. What sort of example is he setting for the youth? It’s these sorts of things that stopped me from going to the LDS church. Hypocrites leading the church. How far the church leadership has fallen.

2 seconds ago · 

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

. . .

————-
If you liked reading this blog and want to read more stuff written by me, I have lots of websites, where you can read other things I write, here are a few of the ones I like the best:
.
.

.

Spot is dead :( We now know the car of the stalker behind the harsement and dead pets.

I did not go to the meeting with the Stake Pres last night, because of the more than 3 dozen meetings I’ve gone to with Bishops and Stake Presidents so far since I was 12 years old, I have always come home to find at least one of my pets dead. Thus the reason I became agoraphobic in later years and why I now refuse to go to these senseless meetings where all I do is sit there and listen to them accuse me of being possessed with demons.

I did not go to the hearing last month. The first meeting I did not go to in 25 years. For the first time in 25 years one of my pets was not dead the morning following one of these private closed door meetings in the bishop’s office.

I did not go last night, because I am sick of coming home from these meetings to find yet another dead pet. I did not go to the meeting last night, but I did not tell them before hand that I was not going.

Last night at 8:00 when I should have been at the closed door meeting with the bishop and stake president, a pale colored car drove up my mom’s driveway. It was either silver or white, I couldn’t tell from the tent in the dark. It was a 4 door sedan, either a Pontiac or Buick (both look the same, I could not see the icon in the dark, to tell which it was), about mid 1990′s vintage.

Someone got out and went into the woods. The car left a half hour later, but the person who went into the woods did not return. I went and got my dad, but when he started to head over there, was when they left. Who ever it was did not expect any one to be home seeing how I can not drive, my dad would have had to drive me to church, leaving the land unguarded.

Upon checking the animals, it was discovered that my teenage brother’s pet rooster Spot, was dead. They had not had time to kill any other pets, seeing how they were interrupted by the fact that we were still home and not at the meeting with the bishop as expected.

I don’t know who it was, again. However, this time we saw the car, before they had a chance to escape, and now, all I have to do is go to church next Sunday and wait and see who it is who drives in with a pale colors Buick/Pontiac, and we’ll know at long last the identity of my long time stalker.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

>Spot is dead :( We now know the car of the stalker behind the harsement and dead pets.

>

I did not go to the meeting with the Stake Pres last night, because of the more than 3 dozen meetings I’ve gone to with Bishops and Stake Presidents so far since I was 12 years old, I have always come home to find at least one of my pets dead. Thus the reason I became agoraphobic in later years and why I now refuse to go to these senseless meetings where all I do is sit there and listen to them accuse me of being possessed with demons.

I did not go to the hearing last month. The first meeting I did not go to in 25 years. For the first time in 25 years one of my pets was not dead the morning following one of these private closed door meetings in the bishop’s office.

I did not go last night, because I am sick of coming home from these meetings to find yet another dead pet. I did not go to the meeting last night, but I did not tell them before hand that I was not going.

Last night at 8:00 when I should have been at the closed door meeting with the bishop and stake president, a pale colored car drove up my mom’s driveway. It was either silver or white, I couldn’t tell from the tent in the dark. It was a 4 door sedan, either a Pontiac or Buick (both look the same, I could not see the icon in the dark, to tell which it was), about mid 1990′s vintage.

Someone got out and went into the woods. The car left a half hour later, but the person who went into the woods did not return. I went and got my dad, but when he started to head over there, was when they left. Who ever it was did not expect any one to be home seeing how I can not drive, my dad would have had to drive me to church, leaving the land unguarded.

Upon checking the animals, it was discovered that my teenage brother’s pet rooster Spot, was dead. They had not had time to kill any other pets, seeing how they were interrupted by the fact that we were still home and not at the meeting with the bishop as expected.

I don’t know who it was, again. However, this time we saw the car, before they had a chance to escape, and now, all I have to do is go to church next Sunday and wait and see who it is who drives in with a pale colors Buick/Pontiac, and we’ll know at long last the identity of my long time stalker.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com
http://eelkat.wordpress.com
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/132659
http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/user/132659

PLEASE . . . . somebody, anybody. . . . PLEASE HELP ME!

They just now, just called again. Again demanding that I come into the the bishop’s office at the church tonight, again demanding that I meet with the Stake President. And again it has triggered a mass panic attack. It’s happening again. JUST LIKE BEFORE. I can’t stop shaking. My chest hurts and my lungs hurt. My hands are shaking so bad I can barely type this. It’s like before. Only, I’m shaking a lot worse, it’s so bad my glasses keep falling off. I can’t stop shaking. I can’t breath.

It’s like before, like a panic attack, only really, really, really bad. Why won’t they leave me alone. I need them to leave me alone. Please make them leave me alone. I don’t know if I can live through many more of these stroke like attacks. I have one every time they call. Please make them stop calling me. Tell them to leave me a lone. Please help me. I can’t stop shaking. My whole body is skaking all over I don’t know what to do.

Please call the church at 607-9517 or 207-666-3481 and tell them to leave me alone (I find the 666 in their # ironic) Ask for Robert Taylor. He is the counselor in charge of handling phone calls to the Stake Presadent of the Augusta Maine Stake.

You can read more about this 31 year on going harassment at the following links:

Excommunication for publishing my 2008 NaNoWriMo Book – Update

~~~~~~~~~~~~

HELP! Any doctors out there? Medical advice?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Health UPDATE – Stroke caused by panic attack triggered by LDS Church excommunication threats :(

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still Planning on Doing NaNoWriMo this year in spite of recent health issues

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eleven Days Til NaNoWriMo and Stroke Update

~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Those interested- here is the Final (edited and spell checked) Draft of For Fear of Little Men, my 2008 NaNoWriMo book

~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Aliens vs Your Demons – Yep – If I’m Crazy, What Are You???????

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Poison Pen Letters Return – AGAIN

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Excommunication – 2008 NaNoWriMo book banned – Update – My Inbox if overloading – a mass reply going here

~~~~~~~~~~~~

REPOST: For Fear of Little Men: First Draft of my autobiography book to be published in 2010+/-

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note – I have not been to the LDS/Mormon church in 13 years, and yet, they continue to harass me on an almost daily basis.

In 2004 I started writing “Faith Not Religion”, my infamous 900 page rant on why I left the Mormon church. It was during the two years where I just sat there doing nothing but writing that book that I finally realized for the first time in my life that I WASN’T evil, like so many bishop kept telling me! I wasn’t demon possessed, like so many bishop kept telling me . What I was, was a victim of 27 years of mental and emotional abuse at the hands of a bunch of crazy tyrants. While writing “Faith Not Religion” I learned quite a bit about myself. Among them I learned:

I’m tired of being told I’m a witch.
I’m tired of being told I’m evil.
I’m tired of being told I do the things I do because I’m possessed by a demon.
I’m tired of being told I’m going to hell.
I’m tired of being told I’m inferior because I’m a lowly female.
I’m tired of being told not to talk because that’s reserved for men.
I’m just plain tired of BEING TOLD.
Every one talks to me, no one ever talks with me.
I want freedom from BEING TOLD.
I wish, that there was someone who would actually treat me like I was a person. Like I was important. Like I mattered.
I’m tired of being harassed by these people.
I’m tired of it.
Putting up with the abuse all those years was killing me.
Them killing my pets was an evil act.
Them paintballing my car was an evil act.
Them throwing rocks at and blinding my horse, was an evil act.
Them burning my drawings in the woodstove was and evil act.
Them burning my manuscripts in the wood stove was an evil act.
Them saying I was evil was an evil act.
They were the ones who were evil, not me.
Not being allowed to get a job because I was a female, was an evil thing for them to do to me.
Them smashing my Liberace` records was an evil act.
Them stealing parts off of my car and leaving it in ruins was an evil act.
Them setting fire to my home and leaving me homeless was an evil act.

Please put an end to this before they cause my death. I don’t think I can live through another stroke. PLEASE HELP ME!. Please call the church at 607-9517 or 207-666-3481 and tell them to leave me alone (I find the 666 in their # ironic) Ask for Robert Taylor. He is the counselor in charge of handling phone calls to the Stake Presadent of the Augusta Maine Stake. Please. call him. PLEASE! Why won’t they leave me alone. I need them to leave me alone. Please make them leave me alone. I don’t know if I can live through many more of these stroke like attacks. I have one every time they call. Please make them stop calling me. Tell them to leave me a lone. Please help me. I can’t stop shaking. My whole body is shaking all over I don’t know what to do. Please some one help me.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com

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Tagged: authors, Biddeford, book cencorship, church corruption, church leaders, evil, Family, For Fear of Little Men, harassment, Life, life blogging, Maine, my thoughts on…, Old Orchard Beach, religion, religious leaders, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Wendy C. Allen, Writing Life, York county

PLEASE . . . . somebody, anybody. . . . PLEASE HELP ME!

They just now, just called again. Again demanding that I come into the the bishop’s office at the church tonight, again demanding that I meet with the Stake President. And again it has triggered a mass panic attack. It’s happening again. JUST LIKE BEFORE. I can’t stop shaking. My chest hurts and my lungs hurt. My hands are shaking so bad I can barely type this. It’s like before. Only, I’m shaking a lot worse, it’s so bad my glasses keep falling off. I can’t stop shaking. I can’t breath.

It’s like before, like a panic attack, only really, really, really bad. Why won’t they leave me alone. I need them to leave me alone. Please make them leave me alone. I don’t know if I can live through many more of these stroke like attacks. I have one every time they call. Please make them stop calling me. Tell them to leave me a lone. Please help me. I can’t stop shaking. My whole body is skaking all over I don’t know what to do.

Please call the church at 607-9517 or 207-666-3481 and tell them to leave me alone (I find the 666 in their # ironic) Ask for Robert Taylor. He is the counselor in charge of handling phone calls to the Stake Presadent of the Augusta Maine Stake.

You can read more about this 31 year on going harassment at the following links:

Excommunication for publishing my 2008 NaNoWriMo Book – Update

~~~~~~~~~~~~

HELP! Any doctors out there? Medical advice?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Health UPDATE – Stroke caused by panic attack triggered by LDS Church excommunication threats :(

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still Planning on Doing NaNoWriMo this year in spite of recent health issues

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eleven Days Til NaNoWriMo and Stroke Update

~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Aliens vs Your Demons – Yep – If I’m Crazy, What Are You???????

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Poison Pen Letters Return – AGAIN

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Excommunication – 2008 NaNoWriMo book banned – Update – My Inbox if overloading – a mass reply going here

~~~~~~~~~~~~

REPOST: For Fear of Little Men: First Draft of my autobiography book to be published in 2010+/-

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note – I have not been to the LDS/Mormon church in 13 years, and yet, they continue to harass me on an almost daily basis.

In 2004 I started writing “Faith Not Religion”, my infamous 900 page rant on why I left the Mormon church. It was during the two years where I just sat there doing nothing but writing that book that I finally realized for the first time in my life that I WASN’T evil, like so many bishop kept telling me! I wasn’t demon possessed, like so many bishop kept telling me . What I was, was a victim of 27 years of mental and emotional abuse at the hands of a bunch of crazy tyrants. While writing “Faith Not Religion” I learned quite a bit about myself. Among them I learned:

I’m tired of being told I’m a witch. 
I’m tired of being told I’m evil. 
I’m tired of being told I do the things I do because I’m possessed by a demon. 
I’m tired of being told I’m going to hell. 
I’m tired of being told I’m inferior because I’m a lowly female. 
I’m tired of being told not to talk because that’s reserved for men. 
I’m just plain tired of BEING TOLD. 
Every one talks to me, no one ever talks with me. 
I want freedom from BEING TOLD.
I wish, that there was someone who would actually treat me like I was a person. Like I was important. Like I mattered. 
I’m tired of being harassed by these people. 
I’m tired of it. 
Putting up with the abuse all those years was killing me.
Them killing my pets was an evil act.
Them paintballing my car was an evil act.
Them throwing rocks at and blinding my horse, was an evil act.
Them burning my drawings in the woodstove was and evil act.
Them burning my manuscripts in the wood stove was an evil act.
Them saying I was evil was an evil act.
They were the ones who were evil, not me.
Not being allowed to get a job because I was a female, was an evil thing for them to do to me.
Them smashing my Liberace` records was an evil act.
Them stealing parts off of my car and leaving it in ruins was an evil act.
Them setting fire to my home and leaving me homeless was an evil act.

Please put an end to this before they cause my death. I don’t think I can live through another stroke. PLEASE HELP ME!. Please call the church at 607-9517 or 207-666-3481 and tell them to leave me alone (I find the 666 in their # ironic) Ask for Robert Taylor. He is the counselor in charge of handling phone calls to the Stake Presadent of the Augusta Maine Stake. Please. call him. PLEASE! Why won’t they leave me alone. I need them to leave me alone. Please make them leave me alone. I don’t know if I can live through many more of these stroke like attacks. I have one every time they call. Please make them stop calling me. Tell them to leave me a lone. Please help me. I can’t stop shaking. My whole body is shaking all over I don’t know what to do. Please some one help me.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com

Categories: About me · Biddeford · LDS · Life · Lifestyle · Maine · Maineland · Mormons · Mourning · Old Orchard · Old Orchard Beach · On the Beach · Persecution · Saints · The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints · Town of Old Orchard · Wendy C. Allen · York county · advice · authors helpers · book cencorship · boycotts · harasement · harasment · harassment · help · homeless · homelessness · human rights · laws · legal issues · legal issuses · life blogging · life on the streets · logic · make America the land of the free again · mean people · medical · medical advice · my thoughts on… · news · oob · pain · people · politics · poverty · random thoughts · real life · religion · religious leaders · religon · sleep · stolen items · stress · stroke · tent · terrorists · thieves · threats · world peace · writer · writer’s rights · writer’s voice · writing · writing lessons

Tagged: authors, Biddeford, book cencorship, church corruption, church leaders, evil, Family, For Fear of Little Men, harassment, Life, life blogging, Maine, my thoughts on…, Old Orchard Beach, religion, religious leaders, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Wendy C. Allen, Writing Life, York county

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

. . .

————-
If you liked reading this blog and want to read more stuff written by me, I have lots of websites, where you can read other things I write, here are a few of the ones I like the best:
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PLEASE . . . . somebody, anybody. . . . PLEASE HELP ME!

They just now, just called again. Again demanding that I come into the the bishop’s office at the church tonight, again demanding that I meet with the Stake President. And again it has triggered a mass panic attack. It’s happening again. JUST LIKE BEFORE. I can’t stop shaking. My chest hurts and my lungs hurt. My hands are shaking so bad I can barely type this. It’s like before. Only, I’m shaking a lot worse, it’s so bad my glasses keep falling off. I can’t stop shaking. I can’t breath.

It’s like before, like a panic attack, only really, really, really bad. Why won’t they leave me alone. I need them to leave me alone. Please make them leave me alone. I don’t know if I can live through many more of these stroke like attacks. I have one every time they call. Please make them stop calling me. Tell them to leave me a lone. Please help me. I can’t stop shaking. My whole body is skaking all over I don’t know what to do.

Please call the church at 607-9517 or 207-666-3481 and tell them to leave me alone (I find the 666 in their # ironic) Ask for Robert Taylor. He is the counselor in charge of handling phone calls to the Stake Presadent of the Augusta Maine Stake.

You can read more about this 31 year on going harassment at the following links:

Excommunication for publishing my 2008 NaNoWriMo Book – Update

~~~~~~~~~~~~

HELP! Any doctors out there? Medical advice?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Health UPDATE – Stroke caused by panic attack triggered by LDS Church excommunication threats :(

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still Planning on Doing NaNoWriMo this year in spite of recent health issues

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eleven Days Til NaNoWriMo and Stroke Update

~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Aliens vs Your Demons – Yep – If I’m Crazy, What Are You???????

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Poison Pen Letters Return – AGAIN

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Excommunication – 2008 NaNoWriMo book banned – Update – My Inbox if overloading – a mass reply going here

~~~~~~~~~~~~

REPOST: For Fear of Little Men: First Draft of my autobiography book to be published in 2010+/-

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note – I have not been to the LDS/Mormon church in 13 years, and yet, they continue to harass me on an almost daily basis.

In 2004 I started writing “Faith Not Religion”, my infamous 900 page rant on why I left the Mormon church. It was during the two years where I just sat there doing nothing but writing that book that I finally realized for the first time in my life that I WASN’T evil, like so many bishop kept telling me! I wasn’t demon possessed, like so many bishop kept telling me . What I was, was a victim of 27 years of mental and emotional abuse at the hands of a bunch of crazy tyrants. While writing “Faith Not Religion” I learned quite a bit about myself. Among them I learned:

I’m tired of being told I’m a witch. 
I’m tired of being told I’m evil. 
I’m tired of being told I do the things I do because I’m possessed by a demon. 
I’m tired of being told I’m going to hell. 
I’m tired of being told I’m inferior because I’m a lowly female. 
I’m tired of being told not to talk because that’s reserved for men. 
I’m just plain tired of BEING TOLD. 
Every one talks to me, no one ever talks with me. 
I want freedom from BEING TOLD.
I wish, that there was someone who would actually treat me like I was a person. Like I was important. Like I mattered. 
I’m tired of being harassed by these people. 
I’m tired of it. 
Putting up with the abuse all those years was killing me.
Them killing my pets was an evil act.
Them paintballing my car was an evil act.
Them throwing rocks at and blinding my horse, was an evil act.
Them burning my drawings in the woodstove was and evil act.
Them burning my manuscripts in the wood stove was an evil act.
Them saying I was evil was an evil act.
They were the ones who were evil, not me.
Not being allowed to get a job because I was a female, was an evil thing for them to do to me.
Them smashing my Liberace` records was an evil act.
Them stealing parts off of my car and leaving it in ruins was an evil act.
Them setting fire to my home and leaving me homeless was an evil act.

Please put an end to this before they cause my death. I don’t think I can live through another stroke. PLEASE HELP ME!. Please call the church at 607-9517 or 207-666-3481 and tell them to leave me alone (I find the 666 in their # ironic) Ask for Robert Taylor. He is the counselor in charge of handling phone calls to the Stake Presadent of the Augusta Maine Stake. Please. call him. PLEASE! Why won’t they leave me alone. I need them to leave me alone. Please make them leave me alone. I don’t know if I can live through many more of these stroke like attacks. I have one every time they call. Please make them stop calling me. Tell them to leave me a lone. Please help me. I can’t stop shaking. My whole body is shaking all over I don’t know what to do. Please some one help me.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com

Categories: About me · Biddeford · LDS · Life · Lifestyle · Maine · Maineland · Mormons · Mourning · Old Orchard · Old Orchard Beach · On the Beach · Persecution · Saints · The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints · Town of Old Orchard · Wendy C. Allen · York county · advice · authors helpers · book cencorship · boycotts · harasement · harasment · harassment · help · homeless · homelessness · human rights · laws · legal issues · legal issuses · life blogging · life on the streets · logic · make America the land of the free again · mean people · medical · medical advice · my thoughts on… · news · oob · pain · people · politics · poverty · random thoughts · real life · religion · religious leaders · religon · sleep · stolen items · stress · stroke · tent · terrorists · thieves · threats · world peace · writer · writer’s rights · writer’s voice · writing · writing lessons

Tagged: authors, Biddeford, book cencorship, church corruption, church leaders, evil, Family, For Fear of Little Men, harassment, Life, life blogging, Maine, my thoughts on…, Old Orchard Beach, religion, religious leaders, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Wendy C. Allen, Writing Life, York county

This Post copyright Wendy C. Allen 2007. EelKat

>PLEASE . . . . somebody, anybody. . . . PLEASE HELP ME!

>

They just now, just called again. Again demanding that I come into the the bishop’s office at the church tonight, again demanding that I meet with the Stake President. And again it has triggered a mass panic attack. It’s happening again. JUST LIKE BEFORE. I can’t stop shaking. My chest hurts and my lungs hurt. My hands are shaking so bad I can barely type this. It’s like before. Only, I’m shaking a lot worse, it’s so bad my glasses keep falling off. I can’t stop shaking. I can’t breath.

It’s like before, like a panic attack, only really, really, really bad. Why won’t they leave me alone. I need them to leave me alone. Please make them leave me alone. I don’t know if I can live through many more of these stroke like attacks. I have one every time they call. Please make them stop calling me. Tell them to leave me a lone. Please help me. I can’t stop shaking. My whole body is skaking all over I don’t know what to do.

Please call the church at 607-9517 or 207-666-3481 and tell them to leave me alone (I find the 666 in their # ironic) Ask for Robert Taylor. He is the counselor in charge of handling phone calls to the Stake Presadent of the Augusta Maine Stake.

You can read more about this 31 year on going harassment at the following links:

Excommunication for publishing my 2008 NaNoWriMo Book – Update

~~~~~~~~~~~~

HELP! Any doctors out there? Medical advice?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Health UPDATE – Stroke caused by panic attack triggered by LDS Church excommunication threats :(

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still Planning on Doing NaNoWriMo this year in spite of recent health issues

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eleven Days Til NaNoWriMo and Stroke Update

~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Those interested- here is the Final (edited and spell checked) Draft of For Fear of Little Men, my 2008 NaNoWriMo book

~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Aliens vs Your Demons – Yep – If I’m Crazy, What Are You???????

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Poison Pen Letters Return – AGAIN

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Excommunication – 2008 NaNoWriMo book banned – Update – My Inbox if overloading – a mass reply going here

~~~~~~~~~~~~

REPOST: For Fear of Little Men: First Draft of my autobiography book to be published in 2010+/-

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note – I have not been to the LDS/Mormon church in 13 years, and yet, they continue to harass me on an almost daily basis.

In 2004 I started writing “Faith Not Religion”, my infamous 900 page rant on why I left the Mormon church. It was during the two years where I just sat there doing nothing but writing that book that I finally realized for the first time in my life that I WASN’T evil, like so many bishop kept telling me! I wasn’t demon possessed, like so many bishop kept telling me . What I was, was a victim of 27 years of mental and emotional abuse at the hands of a bunch of crazy tyrants. While writing “Faith Not Religion” I learned quite a bit about myself. Among them I learned:

I’m tired of being told I’m a witch.
I’m tired of being told I’m evil.
I’m tired of being told I do the things I do because I’m possessed by a demon.
I’m tired of being told I’m going to hell.
I’m tired of being told I’m inferior because I’m a lowly female.
I’m tired of being told not to talk because that’s reserved for men.
I’m just plain tired of BEING TOLD.
Every one talks to me, no one ever talks with me.
I want freedom from BEING TOLD.
I wish, that there was someone who would actually treat me like I was a person. Like I was important. Like I mattered.
I’m tired of being harassed by these people.
I’m tired of it.
Putting up with the abuse all those years was killing me.
Them killing my pets was an evil act.
Them paintballing my car was an evil act.
Them throwing rocks at and blinding my horse, was an evil act.
Them burning my drawings in the woodstove was and evil act.
Them burning my manuscripts in the wood stove was an evil act.
Them saying I was evil was an evil act.
They were the ones who were evil, not me.
Not being allowed to get a job because I was a female, was an evil thing for them to do to me.
Them smashing my Liberace` records was an evil act.
Them stealing parts off of my car and leaving it in ruins was an evil act.
Them setting fire to my home and leaving me homeless was an evil act.

Please put an end to this before they cause my death. I don’t think I can live through another stroke. PLEASE HELP ME!. Please call the church at 607-9517 or 207-666-3481 and tell them to leave me alone (I find the 666 in their # ironic) Ask for Robert Taylor. He is the counselor in charge of handling phone calls to the Stake Presadent of the Augusta Maine Stake. Please. call him. PLEASE! Why won’t they leave me alone. I need them to leave me alone. Please make them leave me alone. I don’t know if I can live through many more of these stroke like attacks. I have one every time they call. Please make them stop calling me. Tell them to leave me a lone. Please help me. I can’t stop shaking. My whole body is shaking all over I don’t know what to do. Please some one help me.

Waiting for Emmett to come.

http://twitter.com/EelKat
http://www.facebook.com/EelKat
http://eknano.blogspot.com

Categories: About me · Biddeford · LDS · Life · Lifestyle · Maine · Maineland · Mormons · Mourning · Old Orchard · Old Orchard Beach · On the Beach · Persecution · Saints · The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints · Town of Old Orchard · Wendy C. Allen · York county · advice · authors helpers · book cencorship · boycotts · harasement · harasment · harassment · help · homeless · homelessness · human rights · laws · legal issues · legal issuses · life blogging · life on the streets · logic · make America the land of the free again · mean people · medical · medical advice · my thoughts on… · news · oob · pain · people · politics · poverty · random thoughts · real life · religion · religious leaders · religon · sleep · stolen items · stress · stroke · tent · terrorists · thieves · threats · world peace · writer · writer’s rights · writer’s voice · writing · writing lessons

Tagged: authors, Biddeford, book cencorship, church corruption, church leaders, evil, Family, For Fear of Little Men, harassment, Life, life blogging, Maine, my thoughts on…, Old Orchard Beach, religion, religious leaders, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Wendy C. Allen, Writing Life, York county