Category Archives: vegetarian

Cookbooks for (Vegetarian) Solo FullTimers…Do they even exist?

Can anyone recommend any good cookbooks for “cooking for 1 (or 2) people” that are also convenient for “cooking on the road”, can be cooked in a toaster oven, and are also meatless recipes?

(Background info: I live fulltime in a 22′ 1975 Dodge Sportsman F40 Class C Motorhome. I live alone, just me and my cats. I need a cookbook suitable for my tiny galley, toaster oven kitchen.)

I thought I’d look at the “RV cookbooks”, (there are a few dozen I’ve found on Amazon so far) but I don’t really like the ones out there. Most of the RV cookbooks I’ve seen so far, assume you’ve got a 45′ luxury motorhome with 3 full sized slide outs complete with a full kitchen or they go to the other extreme and assume I am cooking on a stick over an open fire in the middle of Yellowstone, and than there are the serving sizes that are always assuming you are a couple with 4 kids and a few guests from the neighboring RV.

OMG! I don’t think there is a single RV Cookbook out there that was actually written by someone who lived in a standard to small sized RV! I doubt that they have ever even seen a gallery kitchen before. The authors have absolutely no idea that normal RVs have 2 very small burners and an oven you could ALMOST squeeze a 9″ pan into, or that there is no counter tops to work on, so you are working in your sink. And folks living in Toyotas or vans have even less kitchen space to work with and may not have a stove or oven at all and are using a toaster oven or hot pad burner instead.

It’s very frustrating because I saw the title/subtitles of “RV Cooking” on the cookbooks and assumed they were recipes meant to be cooked INSIDE an RV kitchen, but many of the recipes even state to cook it “at home before you leave” saying it makes a “great on the road snack”. Well sure, just about anything can be cooked at home and taken with you, but what about those of us who are NOT on vacation? The only recipes that are INTENDED to be cooked on the road, assume you are on a camping trip, so tell you how to cook things such as corn wrapped in foil, over a grill on a camp fire. The RV Cookbooks are aimed at vacation campers not fulltimers. Our RV is our home. We need recipes we can make from INSIDE the RV!

Sure there are a few fulltime families with a couple of kids, usually 2, so even than they only need 4 serving recipes. But heck 95% of fulltimers are retired  and 35% are single.  It’s RARE to find an RV with more than 2 people in it, so what’s the deal with all the 8 serving recipes in these books? I just can’t use any of them, as I’m single, don’t need to make enough to serve 8 people, have a tiny half sized oven, normal cookie sheets and cake pans don’t fit in my oven, and I’m not cooking over a fire pit either!

One woman (on Amazon) (who appeared to be the author of the book in question), wrote a comment on a cookbook review, after several people complained that the book was obviously written by someone who had never been in an RV, to ask *Don’t most RVs have refrigerators and freezers?*

uhm…no…actually MOST do not, have EITHER and it’s a very, very, very, very rare thing to find an RV with a freezer. Yes, 40′ billionaire owned RVs have such things, but you are talking about RVs that are bigger than the average person’s house. The AVERAGE RV is 19′ – 28′ and there is a far higher % of 12 – 15′ RVs than there are 35 – 40′ RVs, than there are Class B’s, Slide-ins, Teardrops, Vans, VW Buses, and Pop-ups, none of which even have a kitchen at all, and rarely do these even have a toilet! The AVERAGE RV (19 – 28′) contains a 2 burner stove, a toaster oven, and a “cocktail fridge” (about big enough to hold 2 one liter bottles of soda) which does not have a freezer compartment in it.

Also 80% of RVers are fulltimers (people who live in their RV fulltime – the RV is their one and ONLY house) they do not have a “house to go back to” or a place to “cook before you leave” , therefore they can not, as several of these so called “RV Cookbooks” suggest, cook something at home “before they leave on vacation”. And having no freezer, means there is no cooking stuff ahead of time and freezing it for later. OMG! How many books say that! It’s unbelievable! What freezer? Where? Advice to these authors – if you are going to write an RV Cookbook, why don’t you try, I don’t know, ACTUALLY setting foot inside an RV BEFORE you start writing?

Than there is the problem with every single RV cookbook being nothing but 101 ways to cook hamburger, hotdogs, fish, chicken, and steak. What, do you think people in RV’s have huge chest freezers to keep sides of beef or whole turkeys in?

Does anyone know of any books out there that are actually aimed at cooking in an RV kitchen? And what about a vegetarian one – does such a thing even exist?

I got so frustrated trying to find an RV cookbook that is useful to single women in a small RV, that I came to the conclusion the only way I was going to find the book I want, is if I set out to write that cookbook myself! I’ve decided to start writing down the stuff I make and eventually compile a cook book for RVing/VanDwelling solo women, but that’s a few years down the road.


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This post was written by Wendy C Allen aka EelKat, is copyrighted by The Twighlight Manor Press and was posted on Houseless Living @ http://houselessliving.blogspot.com and reposted at EK’s Star Log @ http://eelkat.wordpress.com and parts of it may also be seen on http://www.squidoo.com/EelKat and http://laughinggnomehollow.proboards.com If you are reading this from a different location than those listed above, please contact me Wendy C. Allen aka EelKat @ http://laughinggnomehollow.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=viewprofile and let me know where it is you found this post. Plagiarism is illegal and I DO actively pursue offenders. Unless copying a Blog Meme, you do not have permission to copy anything appearing on this blog, including words, art, or photos. This will be your only warning.Thank you and have a glorious day!~ EelKat


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pet food recall update: HUMAN FOOD BEING RECALLED!!!!!!!!!

Remember when I wrote this post and questioned what would happen; the effects of farm animals eating tainted food ; being a poultry farmer, my post focused on chicken not pork, but news that corn was now effected, and chickens eat corn one thing lead to another and I started questioning what we feed our chickens…. PORK from pigs that have eaten tainted food, has now been added to the recall!!!
Reading this post lead me to:
Pet Food Contamination Scandal Spreads to Pork, FDA Opens Criminal Investigation.

You know what this is staring to sound like? Biological warfare.

testing tags

having a problem getting posts to show up… testing to see if tags are working yet

Update on Death of Skeezics vs Pet Food recall

new items added to the recall, includeing yet another one that my Skeezics (died Dec 2006 from kidney failure) liked to eat (we still have some of these on the shelf,I just checked the codes).

http://www.purina.com/Company/Press/2007/MightyDog.aspx

http://socalmuchacha.wordpress.com/2007/03/31/pet-food-recall-items-added-330-331/

You should also read this post, which I have pasted here:

update ii : emergency pet food recall

March 24th, 2007

pet food recallWell, they say they have found the culprit responsible for the emergency recall of 60 million or so cans and pouches of pet food spanning almost 100 brands of dog and cat food — numbers attributable to MENU FOODS being the sole supplier for an enormous number of different brand labels’ contents. Interestingly, “They” is not Menu Foods. “They” is New York State Agriculture Commissioner Patrick Hooker and Dr. Donald Smith, dean of Cornell University’s College of Veterinary Medicine, who issued a JOINT STATEMENT Friday after initiating an independent investigation Menu Foods played no role in.

“Rat poison.” “Cancer treatment.” “Chinese wheat.” That is what people are saying it is all about. “AMINOPTERIN,” a chemical used some places to kill rodents, and others to treat cancer patients. [I am so glad I am not a cancer patient. Or rodent.] And allegedly nowhere in the United States or Canada, two of the three countries hit. Mexico being the third.

[Someone needs to ask if aminopterin is manufactured in the United States. Plenty of stuff we allegedly do not use in the U.S. — can anyone spell DDT? — we still manufacture here, we just ship it — we say — other places. Anyone asked that question yet?]

While a majority of news reports have habitually reported nominal numbers of animals effected and/or killed by the Menu Foods incident, [anything ranging from 10-16 fatalities in most reports — based on Menu Foods’ lab reports], on March 22 THE ANIMAL MEDICAL CENTER IN NEW YORK CITY reported they were already aware of 200 cases and expected thousands of pets to eventually be affected. [ABC NEWS : DOCTORS CAUTION THOUSANDS MORE PET DEATHS EXPECTED].

That is just one veterinary facility in one city in the U.S. You do that math. The last count of self reported pet fatalities on PET CONNECTION was 1,188 deaths. [713 cats | 475 dogs]

Other contaminants mold and heavy metal have been ruled out. However, while aminopterin has been identified in recalled pet food, vets are not all convinced aminopterin is the only contaminant present : ABC NEWS : SOME VETS REMAIN SKEPTICAL :

Some veterinary experts say they are still skeptical as to whether the chemical is responsible for the kidney damage the pets endured.

“With the information that we have, none of us feel that this product fits the lesions we are seeing, but there may be information we don’t know yet,” said Lawrence McGill, a veterinary pathologist in Salt Lake City. “The feeling is that there are more questions than answers with this product.”

“Renal failure is not the expected response to these drugs,” said Susan Weinstein, executive director of the Massachusetts Veterinary Medical Association. She added that most rodent poisons work as severe anticoagulants — meaning they cause the rats that ingest them to bleed to death.

“Whether this particular toxin in this case can create renal failure depends on how this drug works in the body, which may be an entirely different pathway than the anticoagulants,” Weinstein said. “Because we aren’t yet familiar with this toxin, we can’t be confident of the causation link.”

Investigators also have not yet determined whether aminopterin is the only contaminant in recalled food.

“If it is not the only culprit, as I suspect, the problem isn’t over,” McGill said, adding that it is also uncertain as to whether the finding will be much help to veterinarians.

According to McGill, even if the aminopterin is the culprit, “most veterinarians have never heard of this product. There will need to be more information put out to suggest therapeutic regimens.”

There are still a lot of glaring questions here. For starters, is aminopterin the sole cause of the animal fatalities and illnesses? Why did it take a lab less than a week to identify poison in Menu Foods pet food, but Menu Foods over a month to even ascertain anything might be wrong with food after reports of fatalities reached the company from consumers and vets? And why didn’t a single Menu Foods production facility stop production during investigations or the pet food recall?

It is kind of difficult to take a company seriously that professes concern over the discovery of contaminated food on one hand, while continuing to manufacture and distribute the food on the other.

PREVIOUS POSTS ON THE EMERGENCY PET FOOD RECALL :

UPDATE : EMERGENCY PET FOOD RECALL 03.21.07 [this includes a list of recalled foods as well as links to sources for information on feline and canine renal failure and the fda’s posting on the pet food recall]

EMERGENCY PET FOOD RECALL 03.17.07 [this includes the original posting and discussion on the pet food recall]

IMPORTANT LINKS :

NEW YORK LABORATORIES IDENTIFY TOXIN IN RECALLED PET FOOD

HOW TO NOTIFY THE FDA OF A PET’S ILLNESS OR FATALITY

PET CONNECTION : UNOFFICIAL PET ILLNESS AND DEATH REGISTRY

ABC NEWS : DOCTORS CAUTION THOUSANDS MORE PET DEATHS EXPECTED

MENU FOODS LIST OF RECALLED PET FOODS

PET FOOD BRANDS THAT DO NOT CONTAIN MENU FOODS INGREDIENTS OR EMPLOY ANIMAL TESTING

SYMPTOMS OF POSSIBLE KIDNEY FAILURE :

• Increased water intake
• Increased volumes of urination
• Unwillingness to eat
• Vomiting
• Lethargy
• Eating litter [cats]

Animals exhibiting these symptoms should be taken for veterinary care immediately.

OTHER INTERESTING SPOTS :

Pooks posted a pretty INTERESTING PIECE on just who is selling wheat to Menu Foods — while simultaneously funding the war on Iraq and buying up the U.S. And oh yeah, who owns Wal-Mart? I do not think that proves the Chinese just poisoned all those dogs and cats. I do think it means they paid a lot of advertising dollars into FOX NEWS. The biggest propoganda arm the current White House regime has. Wow. Thanks, Chinese Guys. We really needed four more years of Bush. Zee has posted a LETTER FROM PETA about the recall. I do not approve of all of PETA’s methods. But hey, the idea is right. Protect animals. Animals cannot protect themselves.

EDITED MARCH 30 TO INCLUDE : UPDATE III : EMERGENCY PET FOOD RECALL

Posted by max

Filed in pet food recall, life with animals, all, politics

Causes EK Supports: Animal Rights

I support many causes, esp those dealing with chickens, poultry, and farm animals. Other causes I support are animal rights, children’s rights, anti-elder abuse, breast cancer, endangered specices, anti-fur, vegan, the environment, and other such causes.

I was one of the original protestors of Proctor & Gamble, back in the early 1980’s, and am now entering my 18th year of active and ongoing protest and boycott of Proctor & Gamble and it’s masive and shameless support of the Draize Eye Test.

My home is currently the refuge of over 200 stray, abandoned, etc. animals, includeing 9 cats, 2 dogs,  and 200+ roosters and hens.

Listed below are many (though not nearly all) the causes I currently support.

Animal Welfare:

 

300+ Geese to be Slaughtered!

A Cessation to the Illegal Brutal Practices of Farra-do-Boi in Brazil

An Ordinance For Pinellas County Prohibiting the Trapping or Killing of Peacocks

A Petition to Protect the Animal Victims of Hurricane Katrina

AllAboutAnimals.org.uk

AnimalActivist.com

 

Animal rights group to protest KFC

AnimalSavingsClub.com

www.animalwelfaresociety.org – The Animal Welfare Society (were 2 of my dogs came from)

Another Chance Animal Rescue Home Page

Antifreeze is Deadly to Children & Animals – Help Make it Safe

Are You Taking Good Care of Your Pet?

Australian and South Pacific Whales Under Renewed Threat From Whaling

Ban the Export of Live Horses for Slaughter

Be an Angel for Stray Animals

BruceFriedrich.com

CaringConsumer.com

Carrot2004.com

ChuayChangThai.com

 

 

Chickens blow-torched to death, frogs blown up

 

Chickens and Turkeys Deserve Humane Treatment, Too

Circuses.com

CircusWatch.com

 

 

Click daily to make a difference!

 

Click free to help the Wildlife Conservation Society protect big cat territory now!

CLICK HERE TO JOIN LCA’S MAILING LIST!!!!

Cockfighting

CommandoChicks.com

CompassionateCitizen.com

CowsAreCool.com

Crack Down On Canned Hunts!

Cruelty to Pet Shop Animals

Danger! Endangered Species Act Threatened

Dissection

Don’t Abandon Pets in Disasters

DON’T ALLOW THE MORINI FARM TO SELL ANIMALS FOR VIVISECTION. …

Don’t Be Cruel

Dog-Fighting

End Canada’s Merciless Seal Hunt

END CRUELTY TO KFC CHICKENS

European Union allows sadistic torturing of animals because it’s tradition

Factory Farming

Federal: Fight Puppy Mills! Urge Your Representative to Support the Pet Animal Welfare Statute (PAWS)!

Federal: Urge your Representative to Protect Downed Animals! Support H.R. 3931!

Feral Cats in Philadelphia need your help!!!

FishingHurts.com

Fur

FurIsDead.com

FurisDead.co.uk

Fur Killing for Commerce

GoVeg.com

GoVeg.co.uk

HB 497 Alternatives to Dissection

Have the AKC stop registering puppies from puppy mills

***HELP BAN THE CRUELTY OF BATTERY HEN EGGS*** Petition

HELP BAN THE HORROR OF BATTERY HENS !!!

 HELP BAN THE HORROR OF BATTERY HENS !!!

help pets in need with your free click!

Help Protect Endangered Great Cats and Rare Canines

Help Stop Puppy Mills!!!

HelpingAnimals.com

HelpingAnimals101.com

Hunting

IamsCruelty.com

Incarcerate Kitten Killer!

Intern at LCA

JesusVeg.com

JesusVeg.de

Join PETA’s Activist Network

JustChoices.com

Keep Pets Safe During Disasters – Ask Red Cross to Adopt National Program

KFCCruelty.com

KFCCruelty.co.uk

KFCGrausam.de

 

 

KFC, Improve the Lives of Animals!

 

KFC IS EVIL TO CHICKENS

Leather

LettuceLadies.com

Links To Rescue Leagues, Humane Societies, Animal Shelter, Pet…

LobsterLib.com

Maine Pet Shelters and Animal Rescue Organizations

Make Aggravated Animal Cruelty a Felony  

Make Animal Abuse Punishments More Severe

 

 

Make animal testing a thing of the past.

 

 

Make Cars Safe for Cats and Other Small Creatures

Make Penalties for Animal Abuse More Severe! 

Make pet “owners” into pet “guardians”

MarchofCrimes.com

MeanGreenies.com

MassKilling.com

Masskilling.co.uk

NewPet.com Animal Shelter Search

 

NO MORE LEG TRAPS USED ON WILDLIFE IN ALASKA!

Non-Pet Animal Protection

Pet Overpopulation

Pet Theft

PETA.org

PETAAuctions.com

PETACatalog.com

PETAKids.com

PETALiterature.com

PETAMall.com

PETAPSA.com

PetaTV.com

PETAIndia.com

PETAIndiaKids.com

PETAenEspanol.com

PETAKids.com

PETA-Kids.de

peta.org.uk

PETA.de

peta2.com

PETA2.co.uk

PETA2.de

PETA.nl

PINELLAS COUNTY FREE SPAY/NEUTER PROGRAM

Please support the bill for new Animal Welfare Act of Croatia

Please take further action today:  (avian flu)

PleatherYourself.com

Pledge to boycott Procter & Gamble products until they cease testing on animals!

Premarin

 

 

Protect Colorado’s Female Cougars and Their Kittens

Protect Livestock in Texas

 

 

Protect the Wolves of Norway

 

Prevent the Misuse of Antibiotics Petition

Puppy Mills

Repeal Philadelphia Bann on Farm Animals PetitionSAVE 53-YEAR-OLD ELEPHANT IN EMERGENCY CONDITION

Save baby seals with a FREE click now!

SAVE CATS, DOGS, AND RABBITS FROM TORTURE MEDICAL EXPERIMENTS

Save The HeadStart Turtle Program!!

SAVE MORE THAN 100,000 ANIMALS! Stop Fur-Farming Complex From Being Built in Norway

Save rain forests with a FREE click now!

Save Scottish Hedgehogs from Annual Cull

Save the Great Bear Rainforest

Say “No” to Japan’s Plan to Kill Humpback Whales

SaveTheSheep.com
ShedYourSkin.com

SeaVegetariano.com

ShareTheWorld.com

Sign LCA’s petition to help
the LA Zoo Elephants

Start an Animal Rights Club at Your School

www.stolenpets.com

 

 

Stop Aerial Gunning of Wolves in Alaska 

 

Stop Animal Abuse!

StopAnimalTests.com

STOP the barbaric, inhumane killing of Akron, Ohio’s cats, NOW!

Stop Congress from gutting the Endangered Species Act!

Stop Cruel Seal Hunt

Stop Dissection in the Classroom

Stop Kentucky Fried Cruelty

Stop KFC Cruelty 

Stop the Horrors of Factory Farming Now

Stop Nauticalia Ltd Making Real-Fur Cat Trinkets!

Stop Overfishing in New England

Stop Premarin and Pregnant Mare Abuse

Stop Slaughter of Downed Animals for Human Consumption!

STOP TORTURE AND KILLING OF HORSES

***STOP USING BATTERY HEN EGGS IN SUPERMARKET PRODUCTS! …

Support Alternatives to Dissection and Students’ Right to Choose!

Support Cruelty-Free Charities

Support the Jane Goodall Institute with your free click today.

Support for the “Friends-In-Need” rescue center

TeachKind.org

TeamPETA.com

 

 

Tell Bush: Stop the importation of endangered species!

 

Tell Congress: Protect the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

TELL IAMS TO CEASE CAT AND DOG EXPERIMENTS

Tell Trader Joe’s ITS CUSTOMERS Want Cage-Free Eggs ONLY!

Threatened Oceans: Help Save the Striped Bass

torturing animals for amusement

TrueFriendsMemorials.com

University of Arizona Kills Dogs

Urge KFC to end cruel slaughter, use CAK Petition

Urge the March of Dimes to stop wasting money on Animal Testing!

Urge tobacco companies to end smoking tests on animals

Veganism

VegCooking.com

VegKids.com

VegetarianStarterKit.com

VeggieVisitors.com

Vivisection

We Demand Justice for Tiger Killer!  

welcome : The Animal Refuge League of Greater Portland

 

 

Worldwide Petition to stop animal testing by cosmetic companies

 

You Can Help Animals!

Government Corruption: Another Update…

An upate on THIS POST.

The latest round of harasment is now a requirerment that we keep a log of each and every time we feed our pets and give them water. The town has required that we keep a logbook hanging at our frontdoor so that the police can come in a check it whenever they deem it “necassary”.

They have also said that we must cut a hole in the wall so that the cats and dogs can go in and out 24 hours a day. These are house pets! They don’t even LIKE going outside! Worse, there is a pack of cyotees and at least one black bear, that rutinely wander about on our land. We can’t have a hole cut in the side of our house! The cyottees well eat my babies! The town laws have  reached the point that they have become Communistic. This is insane! How can they pass laws like this?

They are also requiring that all cars be in a garage. They say that we can not have more than one car, and that if we own more than one car they can fine us $2,500 for each day that we have more than one car in our yard and not in a garage! How can they get away with this? Old Orchard Beach is a town not a dynasty! What is wrong with them? How do these laws get passed?

Well, a result of these latest harasements is that my dad has had yet another stress overload, and has to go in for surgery yet again, tomorrow morning as a result.

What they are doing to us is not right.

~~EK

Communist blacklist, Communism in America, the communist town of Old Orchard Beach, Jim Thomas the Communist, Will Watson the Communist, down with Communism, fight for your rights, make America the land of the free again, 1964 Dodge 330, angry, animal rights, animal welfare, animals, anti-elder abuse, antiquies, author’s rights, authors, bantams, belief, beliefs, Biddeford, birds, cats, chickens, Christ, Christianity, church corruption, conspiracy, corrupt leaders, corruption, crime, criminal, criminals, cruel, cruelty, danger, disabled, discrimination, dogs, evil, evil men, faith, Family, farm animals, farm life, fear, Garden by the Sea, geography, God, government, government crime, harasment, harassment, hell, help wanted, Holiness, Holy Spirit, humans, in need of help, Jesus, LDS, lies, Life, life blogging, local government, Maineland, Mormons, my thoughts on…, news, ocean, ocean life, Old Orchard, police, police corruption, police threats, politics, Relationships, religon, seniors, sin, sinner, sinners, social change, stamp collecting, stamps, stealing, Stolen House, stolen items, strange but true, strangers, tent, terror, terrorism, terrorists, Theology, theology beliefs, thief, thieves, thoughts, threats, town hall, Town of Old Orchard, vandelism, vandels, villain, war, weather, Winter, World, writer, writer’s rights, writers, York county

animal rights, bad habits, conspiracy, corrupt leaders, corruption, disabled, Discernment, discrimination, EelKat, EK, Family, fear, Future, geography, government, harassment, help wanted, humans, in need of help, Jesus, lies, Life, local government, my thoughts on…, Old Orchard, Personal, politics, Power, stealing, tent, thieves, Town of Old Orchard, unprotected, unsafe, vegetarian, war, wisdom, World, York county, Communist blacklist, Communism in America, the communist town of Old Orchard Beach, Jim Thomas the Communist, Will Watson the Communist, down with Communism, fight for your rights, make America the land of the free again, 1964 Dodge 330, angry, animal rights, animal welfare, animals, anti-elder abuse, antiquies, author’s rights, authors, bantams, belief, beliefs, Biddeford, birds, cats, chickens, Christ, Christianity, church corruption, conspiracy, corrupt leaders, corruption, crime, criminal, criminals, cruel, cruelty, danger, disabled, discrimination, dogs, evil, evil men, faith, Family, farm animals, farm life, fear, Garden by the Sea, geography, God, government, government crime, harasment, harassment, hell, help wanted, Holiness, Holy Spirit, humans, in need of help, Jesus, LDS, lies, Life, life blogging, local government, Maineland, Mormons, my thoughts on…, news, ocean, ocean life, Old Orchard, police, police corruption, police threats, politics, Relationships, religon, seniors, sin, sinner, sinners, social change, stamp collecting, stamps, stealing, Stolen House, stolen items, strange but true, strangers, tent, terror, terrorism, terrorists, Theology, theology beliefs, thief, thieves, thoughts, threats, town hall, Town of Old Orchard, vandelism, vandels, villain, war, weather, Winter, World, writer, writer’s rights, writers, York county

Popular Food Inspired by Religon…

Everybody knows McDonald’s. Almost everybody eats at McDonald’s. But did you know  the story behind the Filet-o-Fish sandwich was based on religon? I didn’t, not until I read this article. Copied below:

Filet-O-Fish Inventor Just Wanted More Friday Business

February 26, 2007 by Rich | 0 Comments


The Cincinnati Enquirer:

In 1962, Lou Groen was desperate to save his floundering hamburger restaurant, the first McDonald’s in the Cincinnati area.

His problem: The clientele was heavily Catholic. Back then, most Catholics abstained from meat every Friday, not just during Lent, a 40-day period of repentance that begins this week with Ash Wednesday.

His solution: He created a sandwich that would eventually be consumed at a rate of 300 million a year — the McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish.

“Frisch’s (the local Big Boy chain) dominated the market, and they had a very good fish sandwich,” recalled Groen, now 89. “I was struggling. The crew was my wife, myself, and a man named George. I did repairs, swept floors, you name it.

“But that area was 87 percent Catholic. On Fridays we only took in about $75 a day,” said Groen, a Catholic himself. “All our customers were going to Frisch’s.

“So I invented my fish sandwich, developed a special batter, made the tartar sauce and took it to headquarters.”

That led to a wager between Groen and McDonald’s chief Ray Kroc, who was preparing his own meatless alternative.

“He called his sandwich the Hula Burger,” Groen said. “It was a cold bun and a slice of pineapple and that was it.

“Ray said to me, “Well, Lou, I’m going to put your fish sandwich on (a menu) for a Friday. But I’m going to put my special sandwich on, too. Whichever sells the most, that’s the one we’ll go with.’

“Friday came and the word came out. I won hands down. I sold 350 fish sandwiches that day. Ray never did tell me how his sandwich did.

“My fish sandwich was the first addition ever to McDonald’s original menu,” he said. “It saved my franchise.”

Photo by Gannett News Service.

Are You a Witch?

The following article was written on March 8, 2004 and is copied from my book “My Grimoir: EelKat’s Views on Witchcraft”

Are You a Witch?

This is a test of how well you will be able to adjust to the life style of a Witch. A test to see if you have what it takes to become a Witch. Below is a list of 150 statements that any good Witch should be able to say about themselves. Next to each statement is a space to make a check mark. Carefully read each statement and think about what it says and what it means. If after much thought you decide that you can truly and honestly say this out loud about yourself, than place a check mark next to it and move on. If for some reason you feel that the statement does not apply to you and your life at this time in your life, than skip it and move on. Now take your test. You will find instruction on graded your test at the end of it.

_____ I pray every day.

_____ I am very religious.

_____ I can remain strong in my beliefs even if it means losing all of my friends.

_____ I believe that we were created by a Supreme Being that we did not “just happen”.

_____ I believe that abortion is murder

_____ I always seek for spiritual/divine inspiration and guidance.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a religious leader (priest, pastor, monk, nun, preacher, etc.).

_____ I do not tell people that their religion is “wrong”,”evil”, or “of Satan” or that “they will go to hell” if they don’t give up their religion to join mine.

_____ I do not tell other people that my religion is “the one true religion” or that “my way is the only way”.

_____ I am respectful of other’s religious beliefs.

_____ I own a Rosary or string of Prayer Beads.

_____ I am a holy person.

_____ I have a positive outlook on life.

_____ I have very high moral and ethical standards.

_____ I can get along with people of all races.

_____ I believe in life after death

_____ I attended the funeral of a close friend or relative.

____ There has been a death in my immediate family, close friend, or a pet that affected me greatly.

_____ I have helped dig a grave for someone I loved (this can include pets).

_____ I have touched/held a dead body (this can include pets).

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a funeral home director.

_____Sometimes I think that I might like to become a mortician.

_____ I am able to provide comfort to the grieving.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a guidance counselor.

_____ I have studied some psychiatric medical science and am able to diagnose many “simple” ailments as well as correctly prescribe a method of cure (counsel, therapy, herbs, massage, over the counter medicine, homeopathy, ect.).

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a psychiatrist.

_____ I am caring and compassionate.

_____ I have a deep since of integrity.

_____ I obey the laws of the land–(including such “minor” overlooked things as not speeding and not talking back).

_____ I like to always be on time–I try to never be late.

_____ I can remain focused.

_____ I try to love everyone as though they were my brothers and sisters-even my enemies.

_____ I am very enthusiastic.

_____ I can fast from food for 3 days (72 hours)–NOTE: this does not apply to those with a medical condition, such as diabetes, that does not allow them to fast from food.

_____ I believe that a career that I enjoy and am happy with is more important than a career that brings in a lot of money.

_____ I am good at theoretical analysis and logical problem solving.

_____ I am intuitive.

_____ I can understand complex and difficult subjects.

_____ I love challenges.

_____ I try to turn every thing in life into a learning opportunity.

_____ I have a very good memory.

_____ I visit the library at least twice a month.

_____ I like to do a lot of research and book learning.

_____ I love to read lots of books.

_____ I am self-motivated.

_____ I like/liked school.

_____ Science is/was one of my favorite subjects.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a schoolteacher.

_____ I put a lot of effort into my education.

_____ I believe that studying my textbooks is more important than socializing with friends.

_____ I believe that no matter how well I do, there is always room for improvement.

_____ I strive to expand my intelligence as much as I can.

_____ I can commit myself to many years of self-schooling and difficult training.

_____ I like working with people.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a doctor.

_____ I have studied some medical science, and am able to diagnose many “simple” aliments as well as correctly prescribe a method of cure (herbs, massage, over the counter medicine, homeopathy, ect.).

_____ I like/liked Biology class.

_____ I enjoy volunteer work.

_____ I want to heal the sick.

_____ I want to ease the needs of others.

_____ I want to feed the hungry.

_____ I want to shelter the homeless.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to start a homeless/food/animal shelter.

_____ I like working with animals.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a veterinarian.

_____ I like helping sick animals, get well.

_____ I can complete a complex 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle in an hour or two. (Not a requirement of Witchcraft, but it shows that you are a patiant, fast working, and a dedicated problem solver, with a good eye for finding the solution to tough problems)

_____ I am good at solving problems (in math, riddles, or your daily life).

_____ I use ingenuity and the ability to improvise to solve difficult problems.

_____ I give money/food/clothing/blankets to the homeless people that I see on the streets in my local area.

_____ I give money/toys/food to charity organizations.

_____ I am persistent-I never give in or give up.

_____ I enjoy helping people.

_____ I feel that I am responsible for making my community a better place.

_____ I am deeply emotional.

_____ I am very patient.

_____ I am honest–I would never tell even the slightest hint of a tiny white lie.

_____ I am willing to change my habits for the better.

_____ I am courteous and kind.

_____ I feel that I have a lot to offer to the world.

_____ I like gazing at the stars.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become an astronomer.

_____ I can identify some of the stars, constalations, and planets in the night sky.

_____ I can correctly identify most crystals and gemstones.

_____ I like to walk to places, rather than use a car.

_____ I love all outdoor activities-from sunning on the beach to hiking on snowcapped mountains and everything in between.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become an environmentalist.

_____ I never pass a dead or injured animal (wild or domestic) in the road, without stopping to help them, bless them, get them to a vet, bury them, and/or find their owner.

_____ I like working with plants.

_____ I have a garden-or at least a few houseplants.

_____Sometimes I think that I might like to become a herb/flower/vegetable grower/farmer.

_____ I know basic outdoor survival skills.

_____ I could live without electricity if I had to.

_____ I can correctly identify both edible and poisonous plants.

_____ I can correctly identify most wild plants, know how to harvest them, and know many of their medicinal uses.

_____ I know which vitamins, who should take and when they should take them.

_____ I know how to use and prescribe homeopathy pills.

_____ Sometimes think that I might like to become a pharmacist.

_____ I am dedicated.

_____ I can get up and get going without being told to–I don‘t even own an alarm clock.

_____ I strive not to be vain or prideful.

_____ I do not seek to “keep up with the Jones”.

_____ I do not buy things just because someone else has one.

_____I do not seek after wealth and great riches.

_____ I do not require instant gratification.

_____ I am confident that I can do or be anything that I choose.

_____I am determined, even in the face of opposition.

_____ I can give up modern life and city habits–I can give up material things such as a car, a TV, or electricity because I do not need them.

_____ I enjoy creative and intellectual challenges.

_____ I can look forward and “see” possibilities that don’t exist at this time.

_____ When I make a commitment, I always see it through.

_____ I have set goals and succeeded.

_____ I am able to change my goals when new information becomes available.

_____ I do not see time as an infinite or renewable resource–every second that goes by is gone forever and can never be replaced–therefore I use my time wisely.

_____ I can work well alone, without the help of others.

_____ I am able to make personal sacrifices.

_____ I can handle criticism.

_____ I can handle failure.

_____ I do not have a bad temper-I can control my anger.

_____ I love to laugh.

_____ I eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains.

_____ I am a vegetarian.

_____ I live a healthy lifestyle.

_____ I can handle stress.

_____ I like Yoga.

_____ I love classical music and/or opera-I don’t need rock music anymore.

_____ I like to meditate.

_____ I am able to relax–stress is not a problem in my life.

_____ I can do without a bed, sleeping on the floor is fine.

_____ I can do without table and chairs; I can eat while sitting on the floor.

_____

_____ I can live without a driver’s license or a car.

_____ I would rather make my own things, instead of using store bought ones.

_____ I make most items myself, and try to do without things I don’t really need.

_____ I own and know how to use a sewing machine (or I sew by hand).

_____ I sew my own home furnishings.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a seamstress/tailor.

_____ I like to sew my own clothes.

_____ I like to wear capes, cloaks, and robes.

_____ I like to wear ankle length dresses and long skirts. (Long, loose, unresticting, unadorned clothing is preferred by most Witches–both men and women–as it frees the body and mind of pressure, stress, vanity, and pride and allows free, fluid movement unhampered by pants and tight sleeves)

_____ I can go out in public without any makeup on at all. (Many Witches feel that wearing makeup is a thing of vanity and pride and protest against pride and vanity by throwing away their cosmetics-this is not a requirement of Witchcraft, but many Witches-both male and female-feel so liberated and free once they throw away their face paints and live just as natural as the Creator intended them to be)

_____ I can go out in public without any jewelry on at all. (Many Witches feel that jewelry is a thing of vanity and pride and protest against pride and vanity by throwing away their jewelry-this is not a requirement of Witchcraft, but many Witches-both male and female-feel so liberated and free once they live unadorned and just as natural as the Creator intended them to be) _____. I can go out in public without shaving for two months or more.

(Many Witches feel that shaving legs, face, underarms, and other places is a thing of vanity and pride and protest against pride and vanity by throwing away their razors-this is not a requirement of Witchcraft, but many Witches-both male and female-feel so liberated and free once they throw away their razors and live just as natural as the Creator intended them to be)

_____ I can go a whole year without dyeing my hair, using a dryer or curler, or getting a hair cut. (Witches live naturally–both men and women–this includes their hair-which they let grow long-when Witches do dye their hair they use herbs such as hibiscus and henna–if you see a “Witch” with their hair dyed black, chances are they are not Witches.)

_____If I am not married, I am a virgin.

_____If I am married, I have never cheated on my spouse.

_____If I am widowed/divorced, I do not seek another, and live in celibacy.

_____ I can live my entire life without sex.

_____ I do not smoke.

_____ I do not drink alcoholic drinks.

_____ I do not use drugs (including tobacco).

_____ I own a sword.

Now that you have completed your test, go back and count how many statement you have checked off. Take the total you have and find your score on the chart below. After each score is a corresponding grade. Take the grade letter that corresponds with you’re total and find out how qualified you are to become a Witch.

After reading your answer think about how important it is to you to become a Witch, ask yourself why you want to be a Witch, and than go back and read all of the statements that you checked off. How does each of these statements apply to you in your life? Why did you check them off?

Now go back to the test again, this time read only those statements that you did not check off. Why didn’t you mark them? Can you still be a good Witch without having those things in your life? How can you change your habits to include more of these things in your life? Do you really want to change your whole life around like that? Are you sure you are that dedicated to becoming a Witch? Or are you just going through a phase that will pass by in a year or two or even sooner? Do you truly want to make such dramatic changes in your life? Are you willing to put your hands to the plow and never look back? Will you be able to stand strong when friends and family come down around you and turn their backs on you because they think you’ve lost your mind? These are things that you really want to consider very seriously before you decide wither or not you really want to be a Witch.

145-150 = A+

125-144= A

99-124 = B

75-98 = C

50-74 = D

1-49 = F

A+.) Wow! Maybe you should write a book about Witchcraft. You harm no one, you love nature, and death doesn’t frighten you. You have no trouble living in the woods with absolutely nothing, just living off the land. You most certainly have a Witch hiding somewhere inside of you-find him/her and set ‘em free. You are already a Witch at heart wither you realize it or not, you may be a little rusty and need a little practice on some things, but you really aren’t going to need much help-if you need any at all. You have soared far above the average, and should really consider seeking to start a professional practice of your own. With your talent you can certainly take your pick of just about any career in Witchcraft. If you aren’t one already you might want to look into becoming a Hougan, Mambo, High Preist/ess, Monk, Nun, or a Witch Doctor. You should most certainly be able to do one of these high-ranking jobs. You are by far ready for them.

A.) You are already a Witch at heart wither you realize it or not, you may be a little rusty and need a little practice on some things, but you really aren’t going to need much help. You have soared above the average, and should really consider seeking to start a professional practice. You may even make an excellent candidate for becoming a Houngan, Mambo, High Priest, Monk, Nun, or Priestess and you may also want to consider such other high-ranking jobs as a Witch Doctor, Priest, Priestess, Shaman, or Magician Man/Woman. You can choose from almost any career in Witchcraft–however if you are weak hearted around the dead, you will want to avoid the following jobs: Hogan, Mambo, High Priest, High Priestess, Al Keem, Borka, or Witch Doctor.

B.) You are well on your way to becoming an excellent Witch, and could certainly start practicing now; there’s a few things that you need to brush up on, but basically you have an above average chance at making Witchcraft your lifelong career if you work hard at it. With a a bit of extra effort you may make a good candidate for becoming a Priest or Priestess over time, but this type of Witchcraft is probably not really to your likeing, and may want to consider such jobs as a Shaman, or Magician Man/Woman instead. Becoming a Witch Doctor, Hogan, Mambo, Monk, Nun, High Prehistory High Priestess will probably not be in your reach though, and you should focus your career towards the less demanding jobs in Witchcraft–if you are weak hearted around the dead, you will want to avoid the following jobs: Hougan, Mambo, High Priest, High Priestess, Al Keem, Borka, or Witch Doctor

C.) While you do have the potential to become a Witch, but you still have a very long ways to go before you will even be able to think about qualifying to become a Priest or Priestess, and it is unlikely that you will ever become a High Priest, High Priestess, Monk, Nun, Hougan, Mambo, or Witch Doctor. You should stick with the more “common” jobs of Witchcraft-herbalism, astrology, fortune telling, community service, etc.–if you are weak hearted or squeamish around the sick, the dieing, or dead bodies, you will want to avoid the following jobs: Hougan, Mambo, High Priest, High Priestess, Al-Keem, Borka, Witch Doctor, Priest, Priestess, Shaman, Monk, Nun, or Medicine Man/Woman.

D.) While it is possible for you to become a Witch at some distant time in your life (though much training, hard work, and personal effort will be required on your part) you really don’t have what it takes to practice Witchcraft at this time in your life. While you could strive for a career in Witchcraft if you really worked at it really hard, I don’t think that you will ever truly be happy being a Witch Are you sure you know what a Witch is–maybe what you really want to be is a Wicca? You may just be looking for costumes, makeup, chat clubs, and religious rituals–if so than you should forget about Witchcraft and get a book on Wicca instead. You probably will find Witchcraft rather dull and boring, and you may be much happier with a different career; you really should rethink your options. You really need to sit down and think long and hard about why you want to become a Witch, what it is that attracted you to Witchcraft–if you looked to become a Witch based on movies, T.V., fairy tales, and fantasy role playing games, than you had better just go back to watching movies and playing games, or better yet you should consider joining the theater, because a lifelong career in Witchcraft will do nothing but disappoint you. Don’t despair-very few people who take this test, scored any higher than you did, most don’t even make it this far–just like you they didn’t really want to become a Witch either, and were just fascinated, with Wicca and fairy tales.

F.) Although anything is possible, if you really put your mind to it, and if you really, really worked really hard; it is very unlikely that you will ever become good Witch material at any point in your life. Don’t feel bad though, this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you, it simply means that Witchcraft is not your career path in life. There are thousands of other careers out there that would be just perfect for you, but Witchcraft is not one of them. You need to really sit down and think long and hard about why you want to become a Witch, what it is that attracted you to Witchcraft in the first place–if you looked to become a Witch based on movies, T.V., fairy tales, and fantasy role playing games, than you had better just go back to watching movies and playing games, because a lifelong career in Witchcraft will do nothing but sore fully disappoint you. If you want to wear costumes and makeup, maybe you should consider joining a local drama club–you may have a very good future in theater. Witchcraft requires you to be totally dedicated to it 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the rest of your life, and frankly, your heart isn’t in it. You are in good company-there are very few people who stick to Witchcraft for very long–the hours are to long, the work to grueling, and the lifestyle too demanding for the average person. Good luck looking for a job, elsewhere.

Explaining some statements in this test.

There are some statements here that most people new to Witchcraft, look at with a sense of awe and confusion. Such as “I am a holy person” or “I always seek for spiritual inspiration and guidance” or “I have very high moral and ethical standards”. When most “new” Witches think about Witchcraft they are thinking about Wicca and not Witchcraft, so they are quite taking back, when the subject of high moral standards, daily prayer, and living a very holy life is used to describe Witches. Most “new” Witches even get angry and say such things as: ” I don’t want to be morally clean, I just want to be a Witch, I don’t want to live like some saintly monk; I want to wear cool clothes and cast spells on my enemies. Why should I try to live a holy life? I ain’t no saint and you can’t make me be. I’m going to be a Witch and that’s final.” So you want to be a Witch, but you don’t want to accept the lifestyle of a Witch. Why? You just want to have fun, right? Let’s think about this. Why does it bother you that to be a Witch you must live like a saint? Are you suffering from a guilty conscience because you know that many of the things you do are morally wrong? Is that why it bothers you–that to become a Witch, you must be a morally clean, spiritual person? Are you sure that you really want to be a Witch? It sounds to me more like you want to be a Wicca or a Wiccan and not a Witch. Wiccas are known for their “freedoms”: freedom to drink, freedom to smoke, freedom of sex, freedom from marriage, freedom to use drugs, freedom to rebel, freedom to denounce God, freedom to denounce government, freedom to murder unborn babies, freedom of same sex relations–and all sorts of other immoral, unspiritual, unholy so called “freedoms” that the Wicca religion allows it’s members to commit without conscience. Unfortunately, because Wiccas and Wiccans like to falsely call themselves Witches, these same immoral acts are often thought of as being done by practitioners of Witchcraft as well. Did you know that personal sacrifice is one of the things that make a Witch a Witch–most all Witches abstain from things that the average person would consider a necessity of life. Common things that Witches abstain from include: meat, sex, luxury items such as beds or cars, electricity, television, telephones, and sometimes even talking? Did you know that most Witches live in small houses, with little or no furniture, that most sleep and eat on the floor because they gave up such luxuries as owning a bed, table, or chairs? Many Witches abstain from as much food as they can, fasting for days at a time, sometimes eating only one or two simple meals a week. Did you know that unmarried Witches (male and female) remain virgins their entire lives? That Witches view the act of sex as a distraction that interferes with their work–that many even become eunuchs, so that they will not have to be bothered by sex at all, ever? Did you know that Witches view sex as a means of creation and not a means of pleasure, and that sex is only done when a child is desired? Did you also know that Witches do not believe in public schools? When Witches have children, they raise them at home, away from the luxury laden vain influences of the schools of the world.

Before you decide to call yourself a Witch you really, need to find out if that’s really want you want to do with your life. Are you sure that you want to be a Witch? I have found that most people, especially teenagers, who say that they want to be a Witch, really want to be a Wicca. Wiccas do not believe in all of the personal monk-like sacrifices that Witches do. Wiccas often live very luxuriant lives of excess, vanity, pride, and sexual freedom, but Witches do not.

Can you give up your luxuries as other Witches have? Many people think, that this all sounds good on paper, but laugh and say that no body gives up stuff like that, so why should they; they then continue and try to say that I myself, although I preach it, wouldn’t even do this. Well, I couldn’t in good faith preach something that I don’t practice myself, now could I? What luxuries have I given up, you ask. Well now, let’s see: I grew up on a poultry farm and fried chicken was my favorite food, but eating chicken became the first luxury to go and I haven’t eaten any meat in twenty-two years, I love antique cars, can name most any model, and would like to collect and restore them, but I have no driver’s license and I have no car. I was once a “Goth-queen”, dripping in black eye shadow and lipstick, with red hair and blue nails, but I haven’t worn makeup in twelve years, haven’t shaved in three years, and have slept on the floor these past eleven years. I used to collect shoes-loved platforms, but now I have one pair of sandals that I’ve worn for four years now all year round, even during the worst of Maine’s three to six foot blizzards. I lived in spandex pants, bellbottoms, and micro mini skirts, but I stopped wearing pants twelve years ago, and haven’t worn a dress that was shorter than my ankles ever since. I was once addicted to TV-couldn’t get away from it, today I own a TV/VCR/DVD player, but the TV was used for less than ten hours in 2003, and similar amounts other years and the VCR and DVD, while used five or six hours each week, are now only used to watch “family” shows, such as “Little House on the Prairie”,”1776″,”King of Kings”, and other such shows. I was once a huge heavy metal music fan with hundreds of albums-but I gave up all but two bands in 1991,and stopped listening to the radio that same year, and I gave up rock music entirely two years ago, listening now to Liberace, Rossini, Handel, Mozart, Chopin, and others-I own a CD player and over 500 classics on 62 CD’s. I eat sitting on a pillow on the floor-and my diet is very strict: pasta and rice and fresh fruits and vegetables, many of which I grew myself-my diet also includes eggs from my hens, and some dairy products such heavy cream (but no mass produced milk), milk and ice cream from local farms, and soybean based meat substitutes from the “Seventh Day Adventist Church”, snacks include fresh fruit, dried fruit, nuts, pretzels, chips from a local potato farm, “natural” candies made without preservatives, and homemade candy from a local confectioner. I drink water, green tea, herb tea, and 100% fruit juice.

For my gardening, I hand plow my field with a spade shovel and my hens and roosters do their part digging and scratching as fast as they can, I fertilize the ground with poultry manure and raked leaves, and when insects or weeds become a problem, I turn my roosters and hens lose in the garden, and pray they don’t eat the harvest, too.

I am often asked what I do for “entertainment” well, I leave a mile from Old Orchard’s seven-mile long white sands beach. For entertainment I walk to the beach, walk the length of the beach, turn around walk back to the beginning of the beach and than walk back home with four tote bags filled with shells, beach glass, beach pebbles, and seaweed, and a camera loaded with pictures of birds. My land boarders a 26-acre section of the Ross Forest, which is loaded with wildlife, plants, and has a small brook running the length of it. Here is where I take my dog Buddy and my rooster Chup-Chup for walks. The thing that entertains me the most is sitting beside the brook on a rock in my flower garden surrounded by my tiny bantam roosters, who happily cultivate the roots of my roses. Here I can read, write, and meditate. To me this is heaven, sheer bliss, and pure joy-there is nothing that makes me happier, than breathing the fresh air and listening to the babbling brook and the songs of a hundred roosters all crowing their shrieks of joy for hours on end-I have no need for anything more.

Don’t go thinking that I live on some big isolated country homestead in the middle of nowhere. Our land is only 3/4 of an acre and has four condominiums and a nursing home just across the street, right in the middle of town. I am quite fortunate to live next door to an empty 26-acre wooded lot (the last remaining section of Ross Forest), which, has been preserved, for use by a local campground. While more land would certainly be better in the since that I could have a larger garden and hundreds more roosters, it would be almost impossible to find another place walking distance from such a beautiful beach, a wonderful forest, and have a brook too. The land may be small, but it is my peace of heaven, a perfect paradise for me and my roosters.

While my way of life is the ideal paradise for me, my town thinks otherwise. My roosters live on my land, were the zoning says they can’t, however the zoning laws were made in the 1900’s,and this land has been in my family since the 1600’s. My Native American and Scottish ancestors raised chickens on this land since the very first day they settled it all those years ago, and since that day, never has a day gone by that chickens have not lived here. In the 1800’s huge barns were built for thousands of chickens-a barn for egg hens and a barn for meat roosters; in the 1960’s the barns came down and the meat production stopped; in the 1980’s I took over the chickens, egg sale ended and the pit fighter and rare breed rescue began; but in all of those hundreds of years, not once did chickens not live here. That is what they call the “grandfather law”, as long as the original family remains on the land and raises the original kinds of animals there, the government cannot tell them not to raise the livestock. The neighbors can complain of the “horrendous noise, the vile shrieks and eerie screams” of the crowing roosters sun rise to sunset to sun rise 24 hours a day, they can complain of the “toxic stench” of the manure, but no matter how hard or how long they complain the fact is the roosters were here first, and they have been here for 400 years, and as long as my family continues to lives here and raises poultry there isn’t a thing that they can do. The town hopes and prays that we will sell out and leave to “someplace in the country”. What?! And leave this sacred beach-the sacred holy ground of my people-were thousands gather each year to be healed in its sacred waters? Never! Small though it may be, crowed though the town becomes, I love my home and the land that the Great Spirit blessed us with.

Well now, enough ramblings from me. What about you? How much are you willing to give up to walk the path of a Witch? Your bed? Your TV? Eating meat? Wearing pants and short skirts? Can you stop shaving and wearing makeup? Are there things that you can give up in your life that I haven’t mentioned? How much are you willing to leave behind on your road to becoming a Witch? Now, as you can see from my own life, giving things up is a hard sacrifice that may take several years to complete. I found that by giving up the hardest thing first, that other sacrifices come easier. For me, I love chicken; it was my favorite meal, yet I love chickens too. My best friends have always been my chickens-I had thought about giving up meat, but it didn’t stick. Than one day a man came to the house saying his wife wanted to make chicken stew and asked to buy a chicken. My dad sent him out to take his pick, and I being a poultry farmer thought nothing of it–until that night when my little pet rooster wasn’t there to meet me at the door and by that time it was to late to do anything about it. That’s when it hit me, and it hit me hard–that man had murdered and eaten my best friend. It’s like if you had a little pet cat and one day someone came along and killed it for its fur. He was my pet. More than that, he was my friend, and he was gone. I thought about it long and hard. That rooster was my best friend-and someone bought him and killed him for food. He wasn’t even kept with the other roosters; he wasn’t like the other roosters–he was my pet. And than it hit me: Why was that rooster any different from the others? Why was it wrong to kill this rooster, but okay to kill the others? He was a rooster; just like the rest of them-they were all roosters. I sat there and took a good long look at those roosters-they looked just like my pet rooster, they acted like him, and for good reason too–they were just like him. The man came back a few days later, just as he often did, and needless to say he left empty handed, and never came back again–and neither did anyone else who came looking to by meat birds. A few days later when some frozen “store bought” chicken was being served–my favorite food–something happened to me. I looked at that chicken on my plate and I couldn’t eat it. All I could think about was-this wasn’t one of my chickens from my farm, it came from some other farm, but it was still a chicken. I thought about my rooster and how this could have been his cousin or his mother or father–and I was so sick at the thought that I refused to eat. I couldn’t, I felt like I was a murderer, I felt like I was betraying that rooster who had been my friend. I haven’t touched chicken since–I can’t even see one at the store without getting sick. But at that point it was just chicken and turkey. I didn’t eat chicken and I didn’t eat turkey–I won’t eat anything that might have been related to one of my friends. So for Thanksgiving that year we had roast beef–you know the big one’s, the kind that’s got a big bone down the middle. We were all getting ready to eat and I just sat there staring at that bone. A piece of a skeleton. I don’t know where I thought meat came from but I never connected it with a living creature before that day. There it was-a bone. That could only mean one thing–that that was a dead body–only dead bodies have bones. I felt like a grave robber. There was a piece of a dead body sitting on the table!! I felt so sick I couldn’t eat. At that point I didn’t realize that beef came from cow and that that was a cow’s leg sitting on the table, all I could think was “There a dead body on the table and we’re getting ready to eat it”. I stopped eating meat “cold turkey” and never looked back. Now I won’t by any product without first reading the label and being sure that no meat contaminated it in any way. As a result of this I came to the shocking discovery that it is nearly impossible to find any prepackaged food that does not contain meat! Seemingly “vegetarian” things often have such things as Tallow, Fat, Lard, Broth, Dehydrated Chicken Powder, and By Products listed in them (including such things as crème filled chocolate sandwich cookies, jello, crackers, chocolates, candy, some” plain cheese” pizzas, and even some ice cream!!). I am very careful not to touch anything or be other contaminated by any food that contains any part of any body that was once alive being–this means that shopping take’s several hours while I read entire labels to ensure that no death has contaminated it. I believe it to be a grave sin to steal someone’s life away, just to satisfy the vain lust of eating his or her flesh.

And so that is how I came about my first sacrifice of a luxury. Not having a driver’ license or a car is perhaps the hardest one for me–the one that temps me the most–of course I never learned to drive either, so although it’s a sorrowful temptation, I couldn’t drive anyone else’s car either, because I haven’t the slightest idea how one should go about it. The one that took the longest for me to give up was heavy metal and punk music–I struggled with that one for over ten years before I succeeded–I was never without music–slept with it on at night–listened to it on headphones all day long (I never took them off!). I had rock music playing 24 hours a day. It got to the point were I couldn’t do anything, everything evolved around how long my tapes were. After a while I started to get depressed all the time, and I couldn’t understand why. I realized one day, that I had a problem, a really big problem–I was addicted to music–not just a little addiction–a big addiction–and it was controlling my entire life. One day I was feeling really blue when I noticed the words to the song I was playing–How depressing I thought. I loved the music–the screeching guitars and booming drum, but I never really listened to the words. I started listening and than it hit me–all of these songs were either very depressing and sad or mean and violent–no one was ever happy and joyful. So I made major changes–I got rid of them, most of them: Guns and Roses, Motley Crew, Warrant, etc (If it was heavy metal from the eighties, I probably had it). I left in my collection only a few namely: David Bowie, Bon Jovi, Poison, White Lion, Carman, and Alice Cooper–and today David Bowie, Carman, and Bon Jovi alone remain in my collection, because they were the only three that ever sounded happy. However, getting rid of the collection and hiding my radio, didn’t end the addiction-I was going crazy-I needed music, I felt like I was gonna die if I didn’t have music. Than one day I was watching some old Bugs Bunny cartoons (I love the Looney Toons- -especially- -that’s right, you guessed it: Foghorn Leghorn the smart mouthed rooster). I’m sitting there watching as they play reruns of Bug Bunny’s spins of opera–you know Bugs as Leopold with the guy’s singing Rossini’s “Figero’s C—-”, Bugs and Elmer fighting in the barber’s shop will “The Barber of Seville” plays in the background, and who can forget Elmer Fudd the Viking singing “Kill the Rabbit” in tune to Wagner’s “Ring of N—-Ride of the Valkers”. I was mesmerized–I remembered loving these three Bugs Bunny episodes as a kid. I remembered too, how much I used to love watching “Great Performances” on PBS back in the 1970’s,and how I loved ballet and theater. And especially the story of Peer Gyunt and the Mountain King-the story that had inspired my favorite cartoon the Smurfs, and was played throughout the background of every episode, how whenever I heard “The Mountain King” I used to go twilling and dancing free as a bird, not caring who saw me. Suddenly I realized why I had liked Heavy Metal so much-it was the loud, boisterous, booming noise–I didn’t like heavy metal, I liked classical music, heavy metal was merely a substitute for what I really truly loved–screeching violins, banging cymbals, blatting horns, happy tinkling pianos, and lots of big booming drums. Well, that was two years ago–and during that time David Bowie and Bon Jovi have had three new albums come out and I wasn’t even the least bit tempted to buy a one of them (and I used to wait in line to be the first one in the store on the first day of the release of any Bowie album-I own 57 Bowie albums alone). So, while I’m still badly addicted to music and it still plays all day and all night, I’m no longer depressed and spend my time happy and joyful now. I keep my David Bowie and Bon Jovi and Carman albums and maybe I’ll listen to them again someday, but just knowing that I have them and I’m no longer tempted to play them all day long is a reward in itself, as I realize now that I was a slave to music.

So what are you addicted to? Does it stop you from doing other things you’d like to do? Can you give it up? One of the things that Witches believe is, simplicity and freedom–freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and freedom from slavery. Now by freedom of slavery I don’t mean a bondman’s slavery with chains and whips and taskmasters-I mean slavery to vanity, slavery to addiction, slavery to wealth, slavery to power–if you are not free from these slaveries than you are no better than bondman-for you are chained to your whip wielding taskmasters just as much as he-chained to them-chained to addictions and vanities. To be a Witch you must one by one break free from the chains of luxuries and now–now granted you don’t have to give everything up all at once–some Witches do, but most give up one thing this year and another the next and keep on going. The goal is to reach perfection, to strive to become more like our Creator. A difficult task yes, but one well worth the effort. Reaching spiritual perfection is the reason behind everything that a Witch does-the strange clothing, the chants, the prayers, the spells, everything–everything is done with one goal in mind–to become like the Creator–to live in the spirit world with our Creator–to make this world as much like our spirit home was before we came here. As a Witch that is your purpose that is your goal and you must never forget it–no matter how different the practices, rituals, and spell of each Witch may be–all Witches regardless of religion–strive for the spiritual perfection that will make us at one with our Creator.

And now, you decide: Are you ready to become a Witch? Do you have what it takes? Are you willing to make great sacrifices for your faith? Will you stand firm and strong year after year? Are you a Witch?

Are You a Witch?

The following article was written on March 8, 2004 and is copied from my book “My Grimoir: EelKat’s Views on Witchcraft”

Are You a Witch?

This is a test of how well you will be able to adjust to the life style of a Witch. A test to see if you have what it takes to become a Witch. Below is a list of 150 statements that any good Witch should be able to say about themselves. Next to each statement is a space to make a check mark. Carefully read each statement and think about what it says and what it means. If after much thought you decide that you can truly and honestly say this out loud about yourself, than place a check mark next to it and move on. If for some reason you feel that the statement does not apply to you and your life at this time in your life, than skip it and move on. Now take your test. You will find instruction on graded your test at the end of it.

_____ I pray every day.

_____ I am very religious.

_____ I can remain strong in my beliefs even if it means losing all of my friends.

_____ I believe that we were created by a Supreme Being that we did not “just happen”.

_____ I believe that abortion is murder

_____ I always seek for spiritual/divine inspiration and guidance.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a religious leader (priest, pastor, monk, nun, preacher, etc.).

_____ I do not tell people that their religion is “wrong”,”evil”, or “of Satan” or that “they will go to hell” if they don’t give up their religion to join mine.

_____ I do not tell other people that my religion is “the one true religion” or that “my way is the only way”.

_____ I am respectful of other’s religious beliefs.

_____ I own a Rosary or string of Prayer Beads.

_____ I am a holy person.

_____ I have a positive outlook on life.

_____ I have very high moral and ethical standards.

_____ I can get along with people of all races.

_____ I believe in life after death

_____ I attended the funeral of a close friend or relative.

____ There has been a death in my immediate family, close friend, or a pet that affected me greatly.

_____ I have helped dig a grave for someone I loved (this can include pets).

_____ I have touched/held a dead body (this can include pets).

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a funeral home director.

_____Sometimes I think that I might like to become a mortician.

_____ I am able to provide comfort to the grieving.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a guidance counselor.

_____ I have studied some psychiatric medical science and am able to diagnose many “simple” ailments as well as correctly prescribe a method of cure (counsel, therapy, herbs, massage, over the counter medicine, homeopathy, ect.).

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a psychiatrist.

_____ I am caring and compassionate.

_____ I have a deep since of integrity.

_____ I obey the laws of the land–(including such “minor” overlooked things as not speeding and not talking back).

_____ I like to always be on time–I try to never be late.

_____ I can remain focused.

_____ I try to love everyone as though they were my brothers and sisters-even my enemies.

_____ I am very enthusiastic.

_____ I can fast from food for 3 days (72 hours)–NOTE: this does not apply to those with a medical condition, such as diabetes, that does not allow them to fast from food.

_____ I believe that a career that I enjoy and am happy with is more important than a career that brings in a lot of money.

_____ I am good at theoretical analysis and logical problem solving.

_____ I am intuitive.

_____ I can understand complex and difficult subjects.

_____ I love challenges.

_____ I try to turn every thing in life into a learning opportunity.

_____ I have a very good memory.

_____ I visit the library at least twice a month.

_____ I like to do a lot of research and book learning.

_____ I love to read lots of books.

_____ I am self-motivated.

_____ I like/liked school.

_____ Science is/was one of my favorite subjects.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a schoolteacher.

_____ I put a lot of effort into my education.

_____ I believe that studying my textbooks is more important than socializing with friends.

_____ I believe that no matter how well I do, there is always room for improvement.

_____ I strive to expand my intelligence as much as I can.

_____ I can commit myself to many years of self-schooling and difficult training.

_____ I like working with people.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a doctor.

_____ I have studied some medical science, and am able to diagnose many “simple” aliments as well as correctly prescribe a method of cure (herbs, massage, over the counter medicine, homeopathy, ect.).

_____ I like/liked Biology class.

_____ I enjoy volunteer work.

_____ I want to heal the sick.

_____ I want to ease the needs of others.

_____ I want to feed the hungry.

_____ I want to shelter the homeless.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to start a homeless/food/animal shelter.

_____ I like working with animals.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a veterinarian.

_____ I like helping sick animals, get well.

_____ I can complete a complex 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle in an hour or two. (Not a requirement of Witchcraft, but it shows that you are a patiant, fast working, and a dedicated problem solver, with a good eye for finding the solution to tough problems)

_____ I am good at solving problems (in math, riddles, or your daily life).

_____ I use ingenuity and the ability to improvise to solve difficult problems.

_____ I give money/food/clothing/blankets to the homeless people that I see on the streets in my local area.

_____ I give money/toys/food to charity organizations.

_____ I am persistent-I never give in or give up.

_____ I enjoy helping people.

_____ I feel that I am responsible for making my community a better place.

_____ I am deeply emotional.

_____ I am very patient.

_____ I am honest–I would never tell even the slightest hint of a tiny white lie.

_____ I am willing to change my habits for the better.

_____ I am courteous and kind.

_____ I feel that I have a lot to offer to the world.

_____ I like gazing at the stars.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become an astronomer.

_____ I can identify some of the stars, constalations, and planets in the night sky.

_____ I can correctly identify most crystals and gemstones.

_____ I like to walk to places, rather than use a car.

_____ I love all outdoor activities-from sunning on the beach to hiking on snowcapped mountains and everything in between.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become an environmentalist.

_____ I never pass a dead or injured animal (wild or domestic) in the road, without stopping to help them, bless them, get them to a vet, bury them, and/or find their owner.

_____ I like working with plants.

_____ I have a garden-or at least a few houseplants.

_____Sometimes I think that I might like to become a herb/flower/vegetable grower/farmer.

_____ I know basic outdoor survival skills.

_____ I could live without electricity if I had to.

_____ I can correctly identify both edible and poisonous plants.

_____ I can correctly identify most wild plants, know how to harvest them, and know many of their medicinal uses.

_____ I know which vitamins, who should take and when they should take them.

_____ I know how to use and prescribe homeopathy pills.

_____ Sometimes think that I might like to become a pharmacist.

_____ I am dedicated.

_____ I can get up and get going without being told to–I don‘t even own an alarm clock.

_____ I strive not to be vain or prideful.

_____ I do not seek to “keep up with the Jones”.

_____ I do not buy things just because someone else has one.

_____I do not seek after wealth and great riches.

_____ I do not require instant gratification.

_____ I am confident that I can do or be anything that I choose.

_____I am determined, even in the face of opposition.

_____ I can give up modern life and city habits–I can give up material things such as a car, a TV, or electricity because I do not need them.

_____ I enjoy creative and intellectual challenges.

_____ I can look forward and “see” possibilities that don’t exist at this time.

_____ When I make a commitment, I always see it through.

_____ I have set goals and succeeded.

_____ I am able to change my goals when new information becomes available.

_____ I do not see time as an infinite or renewable resource–every second that goes by is gone forever and can never be replaced–therefore I use my time wisely.

_____ I can work well alone, without the help of others.

_____ I am able to make personal sacrifices.

_____ I can handle criticism.

_____ I can handle failure.

_____ I do not have a bad temper-I can control my anger.

_____ I love to laugh.

_____ I eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains.

_____ I am a vegetarian.

_____ I live a healthy lifestyle.

_____ I can handle stress.

_____ I like Yoga.

_____ I love classical music and/or opera-I don’t need rock music anymore.

_____ I like to meditate.

_____ I am able to relax–stress is not a problem in my life.

_____ I can do without a bed, sleeping on the floor is fine.

_____ I can do without table and chairs; I can eat while sitting on the floor.

_____

_____ I can live without a driver’s license or a car.

_____ I would rather make my own things, instead of using store bought ones.

_____ I make most items myself, and try to do without things I don’t really need.

_____ I own and know how to use a sewing machine (or I sew by hand).

_____ I sew my own home furnishings.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a seamstress/tailor.

_____ I like to sew my own clothes.

_____ I like to wear capes, cloaks, and robes.

_____ I like to wear ankle length dresses and long skirts. (Long, loose, unresticting, unadorned clothing is preferred by most Witches–both men and women–as it frees the body and mind of pressure, stress, vanity, and pride and allows free, fluid movement unhampered by pants and tight sleeves)

_____ I can go out in public without any makeup on at all. (Many Witches feel that wearing makeup is a thing of vanity and pride and protest against pride and vanity by throwing away their cosmetics-this is not a requirement of Witchcraft, but many Witches-both male and female-feel so liberated and free once they throw away their face paints and live just as natural as the Creator intended them to be)

_____ I can go out in public without any jewelry on at all. (Many Witches feel that jewelry is a thing of vanity and pride and protest against pride and vanity by throwing away their jewelry-this is not a requirement of Witchcraft, but many Witches-both male and female-feel so liberated and free once they live unadorned and just as natural as the Creator intended them to be) _____. I can go out in public without shaving for two months or more.

(Many Witches feel that shaving legs, face, underarms, and other places is a thing of vanity and pride and protest against pride and vanity by throwing away their razors-this is not a requirement of Witchcraft, but many Witches-both male and female-feel so liberated and free once they throw away their razors and live just as natural as the Creator intended them to be)

_____ I can go a whole year without dyeing my hair, using a dryer or curler, or getting a hair cut. (Witches live naturally–both men and women–this includes their hair-which they let grow long-when Witches do dye their hair they use herbs such as hibiscus and henna–if you see a “Witch” with their hair dyed black, chances are they are not Witches.)

_____If I am not married, I am a virgin.

_____If I am married, I have never cheated on my spouse.

_____If I am widowed/divorced, I do not seek another, and live in celibacy.

_____ I can live my entire life without sex.

_____ I do not smoke.

_____ I do not drink alcoholic drinks.

_____ I do not use drugs (including tobacco).

_____ I own a sword.

Now that you have completed your test, go back and count how many statement you have checked off. Take the total you have and find your score on the chart below. After each score is a corresponding grade. Take the grade letter that corresponds with you’re total and find out how qualified you are to become a Witch.

After reading your answer think about how important it is to you to become a Witch, ask yourself why you want to be a Witch, and than go back and read all of the statements that you checked off. How does each of these statements apply to you in your life? Why did you check them off?

Now go back to the test again, this time read only those statements that you did not check off. Why didn’t you mark them? Can you still be a good Witch without having those things in your life? How can you change your habits to include more of these things in your life? Do you really want to change your whole life around like that? Are you sure you are that dedicated to becoming a Witch? Or are you just going through a phase that will pass by in a year or two or even sooner? Do you truly want to make such dramatic changes in your life? Are you willing to put your hands to the plow and never look back? Will you be able to stand strong when friends and family come down around you and turn their backs on you because they think you’ve lost your mind? These are things that you really want to consider very seriously before you decide wither or not you really want to be a Witch.

145-150 = A+

125-144= A

99-124 = B

75-98 = C

50-74 = D

1-49 = F

A+.) Wow! Maybe you should write a book about Witchcraft. You harm no one, you love nature, and death doesn’t frighten you. You have no trouble living in the woods with absolutely nothing, just living off the land. You most certainly have a Witch hiding somewhere inside of you-find him/her and set ‘em free. You are already a Witch at heart wither you realize it or not, you may be a little rusty and need a little practice on some things, but you really aren’t going to need much help-if you need any at all. You have soared far above the average, and should really consider seeking to start a professional practice of your own. With your talent you can certainly take your pick of just about any career in Witchcraft. If you aren’t one already you might want to look into becoming a Hougan, Mambo, High Preist/ess, Monk, Nun, or a Witch Doctor. You should most certainly be able to do one of these high-ranking jobs. You are by far ready for them.

A.) You are already a Witch at heart wither you realize it or not, you may be a little rusty and need a little practice on some things, but you really aren’t going to need much help. You have soared above the average, and should really consider seeking to start a professional practice. You may even make an excellent candidate for becoming a Houngan, Mambo, High Priest, Monk, Nun, or Priestess and you may also want to consider such other high-ranking jobs as a Witch Doctor, Priest, Priestess, Shaman, or Magician Man/Woman. You can choose from almost any career in Witchcraft–however if you are weak hearted around the dead, you will want to avoid the following jobs: Hogan, Mambo, High Priest, High Priestess, Al Keem, Borka, or Witch Doctor.

B.) You are well on your way to becoming an excellent Witch, and could certainly start practicing now; there’s a few things that you need to brush up on, but basically you have an above average chance at making Witchcraft your lifelong career if you work hard at it. With a a bit of extra effort you may make a good candidate for becoming a Priest or Priestess over time, but this type of Witchcraft is probably not really to your likeing, and may want to consider such jobs as a Shaman, or Magician Man/Woman instead. Becoming a Witch Doctor, Hogan, Mambo, Monk, Nun, High Prehistory High Priestess will probably not be in your reach though, and you should focus your career towards the less demanding jobs in Witchcraft–if you are weak hearted around the dead, you will want to avoid the following jobs: Hougan, Mambo, High Priest, High Priestess, Al Keem, Borka, or Witch Doctor

C.) While you do have the potential to become a Witch, but you still have a very long ways to go before you will even be able to think about qualifying to become a Priest or Priestess, and it is unlikely that you will ever become a High Priest, High Priestess, Monk, Nun, Hougan, Mambo, or Witch Doctor. You should stick with the more “common” jobs of Witchcraft-herbalism, astrology, fortune telling, community service, etc.–if you are weak hearted or squeamish around the sick, the dieing, or dead bodies, you will want to avoid the following jobs: Hougan, Mambo, High Priest, High Priestess, Al-Keem, Borka, Witch Doctor, Priest, Priestess, Shaman, Monk, Nun, or Medicine Man/Woman.

D.) While it is possible for you to become a Witch at some distant time in your life (though much training, hard work, and personal effort will be required on your part) you really don’t have what it takes to practice Witchcraft at this time in your life. While you could strive for a career in Witchcraft if you really worked at it really hard, I don’t think that you will ever truly be happy being a Witch Are you sure you know what a Witch is–maybe what you really want to be is a Wicca? You may just be looking for costumes, makeup, chat clubs, and religious rituals–if so than you should forget about Witchcraft and get a book on Wicca instead. You probably will find Witchcraft rather dull and boring, and you may be much happier with a different career; you really should rethink your options. You really need to sit down and think long and hard about why you want to become a Witch, what it is that attracted you to Witchcraft–if you looked to become a Witch based on movies, T.V., fairy tales, and fantasy role playing games, than you had better just go back to watching movies and playing games, or better yet you should consider joining the theater, because a lifelong career in Witchcraft will do nothing but disappoint you. Don’t despair-very few people who take this test, scored any higher than you did, most don’t even make it this far–just like you they didn’t really want to become a Witch either, and were just fascinated, with Wicca and fairy tales.

F.) Although anything is possible, if you really put your mind to it, and if you really, really worked really hard; it is very unlikely that you will ever become good Witch material at any point in your life. Don’t feel bad though, this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you, it simply means that Witchcraft is not your career path in life. There are thousands of other careers out there that would be just perfect for you, but Witchcraft is not one of them. You need to really sit down and think long and hard about why you want to become a Witch, what it is that attracted you to Witchcraft in the first place–if you looked to become a Witch based on movies, T.V., fairy tales, and fantasy role playing games, than you had better just go back to watching movies and playing games, because a lifelong career in Witchcraft will do nothing but sore fully disappoint you. If you want to wear costumes and makeup, maybe you should consider joining a local drama club–you may have a very good future in theater. Witchcraft requires you to be totally dedicated to it 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the rest of your life, and frankly, your heart isn’t in it. You are in good company-there are very few people who stick to Witchcraft for very long–the hours are to long, the work to grueling, and the lifestyle too demanding for the average person. Good luck looking for a job, elsewhere.

Explaining some statements in this test.

There are some statements here that most people new to Witchcraft, look at with a sense of awe and confusion. Such as “I am a holy person” or “I always seek for spiritual inspiration and guidance” or “I have very high moral and ethical standards”. When most “new” Witches think about Witchcraft they are thinking about Wicca and not Witchcraft, so they are quite taking back, when the subject of high moral standards, daily prayer, and living a very holy life is used to describe Witches. Most “new” Witches even get angry and say such things as: ” I don’t want to be morally clean, I just want to be a Witch, I don’t want to live like some saintly monk; I want to wear cool clothes and cast spells on my enemies. Why should I try to live a holy life? I ain’t no saint and you can’t make me be. I’m going to be a Witch and that’s final.” So you want to be a Witch, but you don’t want to accept the lifestyle of a Witch. Why? You just want to have fun, right? Let’s think about this. Why does it bother you that to be a Witch you must live like a saint? Are you suffering from a guilty conscience because you know that many of the things you do are morally wrong? Is that why it bothers you–that to become a Witch, you must be a morally clean, spiritual person? Are you sure that you really want to be a Witch? It sounds to me more like you want to be a Wicca or a Wiccan and not a Witch. Wiccas are known for their “freedoms”: freedom to drink, freedom to smoke, freedom of sex, freedom from marriage, freedom to use drugs, freedom to rebel, freedom to denounce God, freedom to denounce government, freedom to murder unborn babies, freedom of same sex relations–and all sorts of other immoral, unspiritual, unholy so called “freedoms” that the Wicca religion allows it’s members to commit without conscience. Unfortunately, because Wiccas and Wiccans like to falsely call themselves Witches, these same immoral acts are often thought of as being done by practitioners of Witchcraft as well. Did you know that personal sacrifice is one of the things that make a Witch a Witch–most all Witches abstain from things that the average person would consider a necessity of life. Common things that Witches abstain from include: meat, sex, luxury items such as beds or cars, electricity, television, telephones, and sometimes even talking? Did you know that most Witches live in small houses, with little or no furniture, that most sleep and eat on the floor because they gave up such luxuries as owning a bed, table, or chairs? Many Witches abstain from as much food as they can, fasting for days at a time, sometimes eating only one or two simple meals a week. Did you know that unmarried Witches (male and female) remain virgins their entire lives? That Witches view the act of sex as a distraction that interferes with their work–that many even become eunuchs, so that they will not have to be bothered by sex at all, ever? Did you know that Witches view sex as a means of creation and not a means of pleasure, and that sex is only done when a child is desired? Did you also know that Witches do not believe in public schools? When Witches have children, they raise them at home, away from the luxury laden vain influences of the schools of the world.

Before you decide to call yourself a Witch you really, need to find out if that’s really want you want to do with your life. Are you sure that you want to be a Witch? I have found that most people, especially teenagers, who say that they want to be a Witch, really want to be a Wicca. Wiccas do not believe in all of the personal monk-like sacrifices that Witches do. Wiccas often live very luxuriant lives of excess, vanity, pride, and sexual freedom, but Witches do not.

Can you give up your luxuries as other Witches have? Many people think, that this all sounds good on paper, but laugh and say that no body gives up stuff like that, so why should they; they then continue and try to say that I myself, although I preach it, wouldn’t even do this. Well, I couldn’t in good faith preach something that I don’t practice myself, now could I? What luxuries have I given up, you ask. Well now, let’s see: I grew up on a poultry farm and fried chicken was my favorite food, but eating chicken became the first luxury to go and I haven’t eaten any meat in twenty-two years, I love antique cars, can name most any model, and would like to collect and restore them, but I have no driver’s license and I have no car. I was once a “Goth-queen”, dripping in black eye shadow and lipstick, with red hair and blue nails, but I haven’t worn makeup in twelve years, haven’t shaved in three years, and have slept on the floor these past eleven years. I used to collect shoes-loved platforms, but now I have one pair of sandals that I’ve worn for four years now all year round, even during the worst of Maine’s three to six foot blizzards. I lived in spandex pants, bellbottoms, and micro mini skirts, but I stopped wearing pants twelve years ago, and haven’t worn a dress that was shorter than my ankles ever since. I was once addicted to TV-couldn’t get away from it, today I own a TV/VCR/DVD player, but the TV was used for less than ten hours in 2003, and similar amounts other years and the VCR and DVD, while used five or six hours each week, are now only used to watch “family” shows, such as “Little House on the Prairie”,”1776″,”King of Kings”, and other such shows. I was once a huge heavy metal music fan with hundreds of albums-but I gave up all but two bands in 1991,and stopped listening to the radio that same year, and I gave up rock music entirely two years ago, listening now to Liberace, Rossini, Handel, Mozart, Chopin, and others-I own a CD player and over 500 classics on 62 CD’s. I eat sitting on a pillow on the floor-and my diet is very strict: pasta and rice and fresh fruits and vegetables, many of which I grew myself-my diet also includes eggs from my hens, and some dairy products such heavy cream (but no mass produced milk), milk and ice cream from local farms, and soybean based meat substitutes from the “Seventh Day Adventist Church”, snacks include fresh fruit, dried fruit, nuts, pretzels, chips from a local potato farm, “natural” candies made without preservatives, and homemade candy from a local confectioner. I drink water, green tea, herb tea, and 100% fruit juice.

For my gardening, I hand plow my field with a spade shovel and my hens and roosters do their part digging and scratching as fast as they can, I fertilize the ground with poultry manure and raked leaves, and when insects or weeds become a problem, I turn my roosters and hens lose in the garden, and pray they don’t eat the harvest, too.

I am often asked what I do for “entertainment” well, I leave a mile from Old Orchard’s seven-mile long white sands beach. For entertainment I walk to the beach, walk the length of the beach, turn around walk back to the beginning of the beach and than walk back home with four tote bags filled with shells, beach glass, beach pebbles, and seaweed, and a camera loaded with pictures of birds. My land boarders a 26-acre section of the Ross Forest, which is loaded with wildlife, plants, and has a small brook running the length of it. Here is where I take my dog Buddy and my rooster Chup-Chup for walks. The thing that entertains me the most is sitting beside the brook on a rock in my flower garden surrounded by my tiny bantam roosters, who happily cultivate the roots of my roses. Here I can read, write, and meditate. To me this is heaven, sheer bliss, and pure joy-there is nothing that makes me happier, than breathing the fresh air and listening to the babbling brook and the songs of a hundred roosters all crowing their shrieks of joy for hours on end-I have no need for anything more.

Don’t go thinking that I live on some big isolated country homestead in the middle of nowhere. Our land is only 3/4 of an acre and has four condominiums and a nursing home just across the street, right in the middle of town. I am quite fortunate to live next door to an empty 26-acre wooded lot (the last remaining section of Ross Forest), which, has been preserved, for use by a local campground. While more land would certainly be better in the since that I could have a larger garden and hundreds more roosters, it would be almost impossible to find another place walking distance from such a beautiful beach, a wonderful forest, and have a brook too. The land may be small, but it is my peace of heaven, a perfect paradise for me and my roosters.

While my way of life is the ideal paradise for me, my town thinks otherwise. My roosters live on my land, were the zoning says they can’t, however the zoning laws were made in the 1900’s,and this land has been in my family since the 1600’s. My Native American and Scottish ancestors raised chickens on this land since the very first day they settled it all those years ago, and since that day, never has a day gone by that chickens have not lived here. In the 1800’s huge barns were built for thousands of chickens-a barn for egg hens and a barn for meat roosters; in the 1960’s the barns came down and the meat production stopped; in the 1980’s I took over the chickens, egg sale ended and the pit fighter and rare breed rescue began; but in all of those hundreds of years, not once did chickens not live here. That is what they call the “grandfather law”, as long as the original family remains on the land and raises the original kinds of animals there, the government cannot tell them not to raise the livestock. The neighbors can complain of the “horrendous noise, the vile shrieks and eerie screams” of the crowing roosters sun rise to sunset to sun rise 24 hours a day, they can complain of the “toxic stench” of the manure, but no matter how hard or how long they complain the fact is the roosters were here first, and they have been here for 400 years, and as long as my family continues to lives here and raises poultry there isn’t a thing that they can do. The town hopes and prays that we will sell out and leave to “someplace in the country”. What?! And leave this sacred beach-the sacred holy ground of my people-were thousands gather each year to be healed in its sacred waters? Never! Small though it may be, crowed though the town becomes, I love my home and the land that the Great Spirit blessed us with.

Well now, enough ramblings from me. What about you? How much are you willing to give up to walk the path of a Witch? Your bed? Your TV? Eating meat? Wearing pants and short skirts? Can you stop shaving and wearing makeup? Are there things that you can give up in your life that I haven’t mentioned? How much are you willing to leave behind on your road to becoming a Witch? Now, as you can see from my own life, giving things up is a hard sacrifice that may take several years to complete. I found that by giving up the hardest thing first, that other sacrifices come easier. For me, I love chicken; it was my favorite meal, yet I love chickens too. My best friends have always been my chickens-I had thought about giving up meat, but it didn’t stick. Than one day a man came to the house saying his wife wanted to make chicken stew and asked to buy a chicken. My dad sent him out to take his pick, and I being a poultry farmer thought nothing of it–until that night when my little pet rooster wasn’t there to meet me at the door and by that time it was to late to do anything about it. That’s when it hit me, and it hit me hard–that man had murdered and eaten my best friend. It’s like if you had a little pet cat and one day someone came along and killed it for its fur. He was my pet. More than that, he was my friend, and he was gone. I thought about it long and hard. That rooster was my best friend-and someone bought him and killed him for food. He wasn’t even kept with the other roosters; he wasn’t like the other roosters–he was my pet. And than it hit me: Why was that rooster any different from the others? Why was it wrong to kill this rooster, but okay to kill the others? He was a rooster; just like the rest of them-they were all roosters. I sat there and took a good long look at those roosters-they looked just like my pet rooster, they acted like him, and for good reason too–they were just like him. The man came back a few days later, just as he often did, and needless to say he left empty handed, and never came back again–and neither did anyone else who came looking to by meat birds. A few days later when some frozen “store bought” chicken was being served–my favorite food–something happened to me. I looked at that chicken on my plate and I couldn’t eat it. All I could think about was-this wasn’t one of my chickens from my farm, it came from some other farm, but it was still a chicken. I thought about my rooster and how this could have been his cousin or his mother or father–and I was so sick at the thought that I refused to eat. I couldn’t, I felt like I was a murderer, I felt like I was betraying that rooster who had been my friend. I haven’t touched chicken since–I can’t even see one at the store without getting sick. But at that point it was just chicken and turkey. I didn’t eat chicken and I didn’t eat turkey–I won’t eat anything that might have been related to one of my friends. So for Thanksgiving that year we had roast beef–you know the big one’s, the kind that’s got a big bone down the middle. We were all getting ready to eat and I just sat there staring at that bone. A piece of a skeleton. I don’t know where I thought meat came from but I never connected it with a living creature before that day. There it was-a bone. That could only mean one thing–that that was a dead body–only dead bodies have bones. I felt like a grave robber. There was a piece of a dead body sitting on the table!! I felt so sick I couldn’t eat. At that point I didn’t realize that beef came from cow and that that was a cow’s leg sitting on the table, all I could think was “There a dead body on the table and we’re getting ready to eat it”. I stopped eating meat “cold turkey” and never looked back. Now I won’t by any product without first reading the label and being sure that no meat contaminated it in any way. As a result of this I came to the shocking discovery that it is nearly impossible to find any prepackaged food that does not contain meat! Seemingly “vegetarian” things often have such things as Tallow, Fat, Lard, Broth, Dehydrated Chicken Powder, and By Products listed in them (including such things as crème filled chocolate sandwich cookies, jello, crackers, chocolates, candy, some” plain cheese” pizzas, and even some ice cream!!). I am very careful not to touch anything or be other contaminated by any food that contains any part of any body that was once alive being–this means that shopping take’s several hours while I read entire labels to ensure that no death has contaminated it. I believe it to be a grave sin to steal someone’s life away, just to satisfy the vain lust of eating his or her flesh.

And so that is how I came about my first sacrifice of a luxury. Not having a driver’ license or a car is perhaps the hardest one for me–the one that temps me the most–of course I never learned to drive either, so although it’s a sorrowful temptation, I couldn’t drive anyone else’s car either, because I haven’t the slightest idea how one should go about it. The one that took the longest for me to give up was heavy metal and punk music–I struggled with that one for over ten years before I succeeded–I was never without music–slept with it on at night–listened to it on headphones all day long (I never took them off!). I had rock music playing 24 hours a day. It got to the point were I couldn’t do anything, everything evolved around how long my tapes were. After a while I started to get depressed all the time, and I couldn’t understand why. I realized one day, that I had a problem, a really big problem–I was addicted to music–not just a little addiction–a big addiction–and it was controlling my entire life. One day I was feeling really blue when I noticed the words to the song I was playing–How depressing I thought. I loved the music–the screeching guitars and booming drum, but I never really listened to the words. I started listening and than it hit me–all of these songs were either very depressing and sad or mean and violent–no one was ever happy and joyful. So I made major changes–I got rid of them, most of them: Guns and Roses, Motley Crew, Warrant, etc (If it was heavy metal from the eighties, I probably had it). I left in my collection only a few namely: David Bowie, Bon Jovi, Poison, White Lion, Carman, and Alice Cooper–and today David Bowie, Carman, and Bon Jovi alone remain in my collection, because they were the only three that ever sounded happy. However, getting rid of the collection and hiding my radio, didn’t end the addiction-I was going crazy-I needed music, I felt like I was gonna die if I didn’t have music. Than one day I was watching some old Bugs Bunny cartoons (I love the Looney Toons- -especially- -that’s right, you guessed it: Foghorn Leghorn the smart mouthed rooster). I’m sitting there watching as they play reruns of Bug Bunny’s spins of opera–you know Bugs as Leopold with the guy’s singing Rossini’s “Figero’s C—-”, Bugs and Elmer fighting in the barber’s shop will “The Barber of Seville” plays in the background, and who can forget Elmer Fudd the Viking singing “Kill the Rabbit” in tune to Wagner’s “Ring of N—-Ride of the Valkers”. I was mesmerized–I remembered loving these three Bugs Bunny episodes as a kid. I remembered too, how much I used to love watching “Great Performances” on PBS back in the 1970’s,and how I loved ballet and theater. And especially the story of Peer Gyunt and the Mountain King-the story that had inspired my favorite cartoon the Smurfs, and was played throughout the background of every episode, how whenever I heard “The Mountain King” I used to go twilling and dancing free as a bird, not caring who saw me. Suddenly I realized why I had liked Heavy Metal so much-it was the loud, boisterous, booming noise–I didn’t like heavy metal, I liked classical music, heavy metal was merely a substitute for what I really truly loved–screeching violins, banging cymbals, blatting horns, happy tinkling pianos, and lots of big booming drums. Well, that was two years ago–and during that time David Bowie and Bon Jovi have had three new albums come out and I wasn’t even the least bit tempted to buy a one of them (and I used to wait in line to be the first one in the store on the first day of the release of any Bowie album-I own 57 Bowie albums alone). So, while I’m still badly addicted to music and it still plays all day and all night, I’m no longer depressed and spend my time happy and joyful now. I keep my David Bowie and Bon Jovi and Carman albums and maybe I’ll listen to them again someday, but just knowing that I have them and I’m no longer tempted to play them all day long is a reward in itself, as I realize now that I was a slave to music.

So what are you addicted to? Does it stop you from doing other things you’d like to do? Can you give it up? One of the things that Witches believe is, simplicity and freedom–freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and freedom from slavery. Now by freedom of slavery I don’t mean a bondman’s slavery with chains and whips and taskmasters-I mean slavery to vanity, slavery to addiction, slavery to wealth, slavery to power–if you are not free from these slaveries than you are no better than bondman-for you are chained to your whip wielding taskmasters just as much as he-chained to them-chained to addictions and vanities. To be a Witch you must one by one break free from the chains of luxuries and now–now granted you don’t have to give everything up all at once–some Witches do, but most give up one thing this year and another the next and keep on going. The goal is to reach perfection, to strive to become more like our Creator. A difficult task yes, but one well worth the effort. Reaching spiritual perfection is the reason behind everything that a Witch does-the strange clothing, the chants, the prayers, the spells, everything–everything is done with one goal in mind–to become like the Creator–to live in the spirit world with our Creator–to make this world as much like our spirit home was before we came here. As a Witch that is your purpose that is your goal and you must never forget it–no matter how different the practices, rituals, and spell of each Witch may be–all Witches regardless of religion–strive for the spiritual perfection that will make us at one with our Creator.

And now, you decide: Are you ready to become a Witch? Do you have what it takes? Are you willing to make great sacrifices for your faith? Will you stand firm and strong year after year? Are you a Witch?

Are You a Witch?

The following article was written on March 8, 2004 and is copied from my book “My Grimoir: EelKat’s Views on Witchcraft”

Are You a Witch?

This is a test of how well you will be able to adjust to the life style of a Witch. A test to see if you have what it takes to become a Witch. Below is a list of 150 statements that any good Witch should be able to say about themselves. Next to each statement is a space to make a check mark. Carefully read each statement and think about what it says and what it means. If after much thought you decide that you can truly and honestly say this out loud about yourself, than place a check mark next to it and move on. If for some reason you feel that the statement does not apply to you and your life at this time in your life, than skip it and move on. Now take your test. You will find instruction on graded your test at the end of it.

_____ I pray every day.

_____ I am very religious.

_____ I can remain strong in my beliefs even if it means losing all of my friends.

_____ I believe that we were created by a Supreme Being that we did not “just happen”.

_____ I believe that abortion is murder

_____ I always seek for spiritual/divine inspiration and guidance.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a religious leader (priest, pastor, monk, nun, preacher, etc.).

_____ I do not tell people that their religion is “wrong”,”evil”, or “of Satan” or that “they will go to hell” if they don’t give up their religion to join mine.

_____ I do not tell other people that my religion is “the one true religion” or that “my way is the only way”.

_____ I am respectful of other’s religious beliefs.

_____ I own a Rosary or string of Prayer Beads.

_____ I am a holy person.

_____ I have a positive outlook on life.

_____ I have very high moral and ethical standards.

_____ I can get along with people of all races.

_____ I believe in life after death

_____ I attended the funeral of a close friend or relative.

____ There has been a death in my immediate family, close friend, or a pet that affected me greatly.

_____ I have helped dig a grave for someone I loved (this can include pets).

_____ I have touched/held a dead body (this can include pets).

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a funeral home director.

_____Sometimes I think that I might like to become a mortician.

_____ I am able to provide comfort to the grieving.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a guidance counselor.

_____ I have studied some psychiatric medical science and am able to diagnose many “simple” ailments as well as correctly prescribe a method of cure (counsel, therapy, herbs, massage, over the counter medicine, homeopathy, ect.).

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a psychiatrist.

_____ I am caring and compassionate.

_____ I have a deep since of integrity.

_____ I obey the laws of the land–(including such “minor” overlooked things as not speeding and not talking back).

_____ I like to always be on time–I try to never be late.

_____ I can remain focused.

_____ I try to love everyone as though they were my brothers and sisters-even my enemies.

_____ I am very enthusiastic.

_____ I can fast from food for 3 days (72 hours)–NOTE: this does not apply to those with a medical condition, such as diabetes, that does not allow them to fast from food.

_____ I believe that a career that I enjoy and am happy with is more important than a career that brings in a lot of money.

_____ I am good at theoretical analysis and logical problem solving.

_____ I am intuitive.

_____ I can understand complex and difficult subjects.

_____ I love challenges.

_____ I try to turn every thing in life into a learning opportunity.

_____ I have a very good memory.

_____ I visit the library at least twice a month.

_____ I like to do a lot of research and book learning.

_____ I love to read lots of books.

_____ I am self-motivated.

_____ I like/liked school.

_____ Science is/was one of my favorite subjects.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a schoolteacher.

_____ I put a lot of effort into my education.

_____ I believe that studying my textbooks is more important than socializing with friends.

_____ I believe that no matter how well I do, there is always room for improvement.

_____ I strive to expand my intelligence as much as I can.

_____ I can commit myself to many years of self-schooling and difficult training.

_____ I like working with people.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a doctor.

_____ I have studied some medical science, and am able to diagnose many “simple” aliments as well as correctly prescribe a method of cure (herbs, massage, over the counter medicine, homeopathy, ect.).

_____ I like/liked Biology class.

_____ I enjoy volunteer work.

_____ I want to heal the sick.

_____ I want to ease the needs of others.

_____ I want to feed the hungry.

_____ I want to shelter the homeless.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to start a homeless/food/animal shelter.

_____ I like working with animals.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a veterinarian.

_____ I like helping sick animals, get well.

_____ I can complete a complex 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle in an hour or two. (Not a requirement of Witchcraft, but it shows that you are a patiant, fast working, and a dedicated problem solver, with a good eye for finding the solution to tough problems)

_____ I am good at solving problems (in math, riddles, or your daily life).

_____ I use ingenuity and the ability to improvise to solve difficult problems.

_____ I give money/food/clothing/blankets to the homeless people that I see on the streets in my local area.

_____ I give money/toys/food to charity organizations.

_____ I am persistent-I never give in or give up.

_____ I enjoy helping people.

_____ I feel that I am responsible for making my community a better place.

_____ I am deeply emotional.

_____ I am very patient.

_____ I am honest–I would never tell even the slightest hint of a tiny white lie.

_____ I am willing to change my habits for the better.

_____ I am courteous and kind.

_____ I feel that I have a lot to offer to the world.

_____ I like gazing at the stars.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become an astronomer.

_____ I can identify some of the stars, constalations, and planets in the night sky.

_____ I can correctly identify most crystals and gemstones.

_____ I like to walk to places, rather than use a car.

_____ I love all outdoor activities-from sunning on the beach to hiking on snowcapped mountains and everything in between.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become an environmentalist.

_____ I never pass a dead or injured animal (wild or domestic) in the road, without stopping to help them, bless them, get them to a vet, bury them, and/or find their owner.

_____ I like working with plants.

_____ I have a garden-or at least a few houseplants.

_____Sometimes I think that I might like to become a herb/flower/vegetable grower/farmer.

_____ I know basic outdoor survival skills.

_____ I could live without electricity if I had to.

_____ I can correctly identify both edible and poisonous plants.

_____ I can correctly identify most wild plants, know how to harvest them, and know many of their medicinal uses.

_____ I know which vitamins, who should take and when they should take them.

_____ I know how to use and prescribe homeopathy pills.

_____ Sometimes think that I might like to become a pharmacist.

_____ I am dedicated.

_____ I can get up and get going without being told to–I don‘t even own an alarm clock.

_____ I strive not to be vain or prideful.

_____ I do not seek to “keep up with the Jones”.

_____ I do not buy things just because someone else has one.

_____I do not seek after wealth and great riches.

_____ I do not require instant gratification.

_____ I am confident that I can do or be anything that I choose.

_____I am determined, even in the face of opposition.

_____ I can give up modern life and city habits–I can give up material things such as a car, a TV, or electricity because I do not need them.

_____ I enjoy creative and intellectual challenges.

_____ I can look forward and “see” possibilities that don’t exist at this time.

_____ When I make a commitment, I always see it through.

_____ I have set goals and succeeded.

_____ I am able to change my goals when new information becomes available.

_____ I do not see time as an infinite or renewable resource–every second that goes by is gone forever and can never be replaced–therefore I use my time wisely.

_____ I can work well alone, without the help of others.

_____ I am able to make personal sacrifices.

_____ I can handle criticism.

_____ I can handle failure.

_____ I do not have a bad temper-I can control my anger.

_____ I love to laugh.

_____ I eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains.

_____ I am a vegetarian.

_____ I live a healthy lifestyle.

_____ I can handle stress.

_____ I like Yoga.

_____ I love classical music and/or opera-I don’t need rock music anymore.

_____ I like to meditate.

_____ I am able to relax–stress is not a problem in my life.

_____ I can do without a bed, sleeping on the floor is fine.

_____ I can do without table and chairs; I can eat while sitting on the floor.

_____

_____ I can live without a driver’s license or a car.

_____ I would rather make my own things, instead of using store bought ones.

_____ I make most items myself, and try to do without things I don’t really need.

_____ I own and know how to use a sewing machine (or I sew by hand).

_____ I sew my own home furnishings.

_____ Sometimes I think that I might like to become a seamstress/tailor.

_____ I like to sew my own clothes.

_____ I like to wear capes, cloaks, and robes.

_____ I like to wear ankle length dresses and long skirts. (Long, loose, unresticting, unadorned clothing is preferred by most Witches–both men and women–as it frees the body and mind of pressure, stress, vanity, and pride and allows free, fluid movement unhampered by pants and tight sleeves)

_____ I can go out in public without any makeup on at all. (Many Witches feel that wearing makeup is a thing of vanity and pride and protest against pride and vanity by throwing away their cosmetics-this is not a requirement of Witchcraft, but many Witches-both male and female-feel so liberated and free once they throw away their face paints and live just as natural as the Creator intended them to be)

_____ I can go out in public without any jewelry on at all. (Many Witches feel that jewelry is a thing of vanity and pride and protest against pride and vanity by throwing away their jewelry-this is not a requirement of Witchcraft, but many Witches-both male and female-feel so liberated and free once they live unadorned and just as natural as the Creator intended them to be) _____. I can go out in public without shaving for two months or more.

(Many Witches feel that shaving legs, face, underarms, and other places is a thing of vanity and pride and protest against pride and vanity by throwing away their razors-this is not a requirement of Witchcraft, but many Witches-both male and female-feel so liberated and free once they throw away their razors and live just as natural as the Creator intended them to be)

_____ I can go a whole year without dyeing my hair, using a dryer or curler, or getting a hair cut. (Witches live naturally–both men and women–this includes their hair-which they let grow long-when Witches do dye their hair they use herbs such as hibiscus and henna–if you see a “Witch” with their hair dyed black, chances are they are not Witches.)

_____If I am not married, I am a virgin.

_____If I am married, I have never cheated on my spouse.

_____If I am widowed/divorced, I do not seek another, and live in celibacy.

_____ I can live my entire life without sex.

_____ I do not smoke.

_____ I do not drink alcoholic drinks.

_____ I do not use drugs (including tobacco).

_____ I own a sword.

Now that you have completed your test, go back and count how many statement you have checked off. Take the total you have and find your score on the chart below. After each score is a corresponding grade. Take the grade letter that corresponds with you’re total and find out how qualified you are to become a Witch.

After reading your answer think about how important it is to you to become a Witch, ask yourself why you want to be a Witch, and than go back and read all of the statements that you checked off. How does each of these statements apply to you in your life? Why did you check them off?

Now go back to the test again, this time read only those statements that you did not check off. Why didn’t you mark them? Can you still be a good Witch without having those things in your life? How can you change your habits to include more of these things in your life? Do you really want to change your whole life around like that? Are you sure you are that dedicated to becoming a Witch? Or are you just going through a phase that will pass by in a year or two or even sooner? Do you truly want to make such dramatic changes in your life? Are you willing to put your hands to the plow and never look back? Will you be able to stand strong when friends and family come down around you and turn their backs on you because they think you’ve lost your mind? These are things that you really want to consider very seriously before you decide wither or not you really want to be a Witch.

145-150 = A+

125-144= A

99-124 = B

75-98 = C

50-74 = D

1-49 = F

A+.) Wow! Maybe you should write a book about Witchcraft. You harm no one, you love nature, and death doesn’t frighten you. You have no trouble living in the woods with absolutely nothing, just living off the land. You most certainly have a Witch hiding somewhere inside of you-find him/her and set ‘em free. You are already a Witch at heart wither you realize it or not, you may be a little rusty and need a little practice on some things, but you really aren’t going to need much help-if you need any at all. You have soared far above the average, and should really consider seeking to start a professional practice of your own. With your talent you can certainly take your pick of just about any career in Witchcraft. If you aren’t one already you might want to look into becoming a Hougan, Mambo, High Preist/ess, Monk, Nun, or a Witch Doctor. You should most certainly be able to do one of these high-ranking jobs. You are by far ready for them.

A.) You are already a Witch at heart wither you realize it or not, you may be a little rusty and need a little practice on some things, but you really aren’t going to need much help. You have soared above the average, and should really consider seeking to start a professional practice. You may even make an excellent candidate for becoming a Houngan, Mambo, High Priest, Monk, Nun, or Priestess and you may also want to consider such other high-ranking jobs as a Witch Doctor, Priest, Priestess, Shaman, or Magician Man/Woman. You can choose from almost any career in Witchcraft–however if you are weak hearted around the dead, you will want to avoid the following jobs: Hogan, Mambo, High Priest, High Priestess, Al Keem, Borka, or Witch Doctor.

B.) You are well on your way to becoming an excellent Witch, and could certainly start practicing now; there’s a few things that you need to brush up on, but basically you have an above average chance at making Witchcraft your lifelong career if you work hard at it. With a a bit of extra effort you may make a good candidate for becoming a Priest or Priestess over time, but this type of Witchcraft is probably not really to your likeing, and may want to consider such jobs as a Shaman, or Magician Man/Woman instead. Becoming a Witch Doctor, Hogan, Mambo, Monk, Nun, High Prehistory High Priestess will probably not be in your reach though, and you should focus your career towards the less demanding jobs in Witchcraft–if you are weak hearted around the dead, you will want to avoid the following jobs: Hougan, Mambo, High Priest, High Priestess, Al Keem, Borka, or Witch Doctor

C.) While you do have the potential to become a Witch, but you still have a very long ways to go before you will even be able to think about qualifying to become a Priest or Priestess, and it is unlikely that you will ever become a High Priest, High Priestess, Monk, Nun, Hougan, Mambo, or Witch Doctor. You should stick with the more “common” jobs of Witchcraft-herbalism, astrology, fortune telling, community service, etc.–if you are weak hearted or squeamish around the sick, the dieing, or dead bodies, you will want to avoid the following jobs: Hougan, Mambo, High Priest, High Priestess, Al-Keem, Borka, Witch Doctor, Priest, Priestess, Shaman, Monk, Nun, or Medicine Man/Woman.

D.) While it is possible for you to become a Witch at some distant time in your life (though much training, hard work, and personal effort will be required on your part) you really don’t have what it takes to practice Witchcraft at this time in your life. While you could strive for a career in Witchcraft if you really worked at it really hard, I don’t think that you will ever truly be happy being a Witch Are you sure you know what a Witch is–maybe what you really want to be is a Wicca? You may just be looking for costumes, makeup, chat clubs, and religious rituals–if so than you should forget about Witchcraft and get a book on Wicca instead. You probably will find Witchcraft rather dull and boring, and you may be much happier with a different career; you really should rethink your options. You really need to sit down and think long and hard about why you want to become a Witch, what it is that attracted you to Witchcraft–if you looked to become a Witch based on movies, T.V., fairy tales, and fantasy role playing games, than you had better just go back to watching movies and playing games, or better yet you should consider joining the theater, because a lifelong career in Witchcraft will do nothing but disappoint you. Don’t despair-very few people who take this test, scored any higher than you did, most don’t even make it this far–just like you they didn’t really want to become a Witch either, and were just fascinated, with Wicca and fairy tales.

F.) Although anything is possible, if you really put your mind to it, and if you really, really worked really hard; it is very unlikely that you will ever become good Witch material at any point in your life. Don’t feel bad though, this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you, it simply means that Witchcraft is not your career path in life. There are thousands of other careers out there that would be just perfect for you, but Witchcraft is not one of them. You need to really sit down and think long and hard about why you want to become a Witch, what it is that attracted you to Witchcraft in the first place–if you looked to become a Witch based on movies, T.V., fairy tales, and fantasy role playing games, than you had better just go back to watching movies and playing games, because a lifelong career in Witchcraft will do nothing but sore fully disappoint you. If you want to wear costumes and makeup, maybe you should consider joining a local drama club–you may have a very good future in theater. Witchcraft requires you to be totally dedicated to it 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the rest of your life, and frankly, your heart isn’t in it. You are in good company-there are very few people who stick to Witchcraft for very long–the hours are to long, the work to grueling, and the lifestyle too demanding for the average person. Good luck looking for a job, elsewhere.

Explaining some statements in this test.

There are some statements here that most people new to Witchcraft, look at with a sense of awe and confusion. Such as “I am a holy person” or “I always seek for spiritual inspiration and guidance” or “I have very high moral and ethical standards”. When most “new” Witches think about Witchcraft they are thinking about Wicca and not Witchcraft, so they are quite taking back, when the subject of high moral standards, daily prayer, and living a very holy life is used to describe Witches. Most “new” Witches even get angry and say such things as: ” I don’t want to be morally clean, I just want to be a Witch, I don’t want to live like some saintly monk; I want to wear cool clothes and cast spells on my enemies. Why should I try to live a holy life? I ain’t no saint and you can’t make me be. I’m going to be a Witch and that’s final.” So you want to be a Witch, but you don’t want to accept the lifestyle of a Witch. Why? You just want to have fun, right? Let’s think about this. Why does it bother you that to be a Witch you must live like a saint? Are you suffering from a guilty conscience because you know that many of the things you do are morally wrong? Is that why it bothers you–that to become a Witch, you must be a morally clean, spiritual person? Are you sure that you really want to be a Witch? It sounds to me more like you want to be a Wicca or a Wiccan and not a Witch. Wiccas are known for their “freedoms”: freedom to drink, freedom to smoke, freedom of sex, freedom from marriage, freedom to use drugs, freedom to rebel, freedom to denounce God, freedom to denounce government, freedom to murder unborn babies, freedom of same sex relations–and all sorts of other immoral, unspiritual, unholy so called “freedoms” that the Wicca religion allows it’s members to commit without conscience. Unfortunately, because Wiccas and Wiccans like to falsely call themselves Witches, these same immoral acts are often thought of as being done by practitioners of Witchcraft as well. Did you know that personal sacrifice is one of the things that make a Witch a Witch–most all Witches abstain from things that the average person would consider a necessity of life. Common things that Witches abstain from include: meat, sex, luxury items such as beds or cars, electricity, television, telephones, and sometimes even talking? Did you know that most Witches live in small houses, with little or no furniture, that most sleep and eat on the floor because they gave up such luxuries as owning a bed, table, or chairs? Many Witches abstain from as much food as they can, fasting for days at a time, sometimes eating only one or two simple meals a week. Did you know that unmarried Witches (male and female) remain virgins their entire lives? That Witches view the act of sex as a distraction that interferes with their work–that many even become eunuchs, so that they will not have to be bothered by sex at all, ever? Did you know that Witches view sex as a means of creation and not a means of pleasure, and that sex is only done when a child is desired? Did you also know that Witches do not believe in public schools? When Witches have children, they raise them at home, away from the luxury laden vain influences of the schools of the world.

Before you decide to call yourself a Witch you really, need to find out if that’s really want you want to do with your life. Are you sure that you want to be a Witch? I have found that most people, especially teenagers, who say that they want to be a Witch, really want to be a Wicca. Wiccas do not believe in all of the personal monk-like sacrifices that Witches do. Wiccas often live very luxuriant lives of excess, vanity, pride, and sexual freedom, but Witches do not.

Can you give up your luxuries as other Witches have? Many people think, that this all sounds good on paper, but laugh and say that no body gives up stuff like that, so why should they; they then continue and try to say that I myself, although I preach it, wouldn’t even do this. Well, I couldn’t in good faith preach something that I don’t practice myself, now could I? What luxuries have I given up, you ask. Well now, let’s see: I grew up on a poultry farm and fried chicken was my favorite food, but eating chicken became the first luxury to go and I haven’t eaten any meat in twenty-two years, I love antique cars, can name most any model, and would like to collect and restore them, but I have no driver’s license and I have no car. I was once a “Goth-queen”, dripping in black eye shadow and lipstick, with red hair and blue nails, but I haven’t worn makeup in twelve years, haven’t shaved in three years, and have slept on the floor these past eleven years. I used to collect shoes-loved platforms, but now I have one pair of sandals that I’ve worn for four years now all year round, even during the worst of Maine’s three to six foot blizzards. I lived in spandex pants, bellbottoms, and micro mini skirts, but I stopped wearing pants twelve years ago, and haven’t worn a dress that was shorter than my ankles ever since. I was once addicted to TV-couldn’t get away from it, today I own a TV/VCR/DVD player, but the TV was used for less than ten hours in 2003, and similar amounts other years and the VCR and DVD, while used five or six hours each week, are now only used to watch “family” shows, such as “Little House on the Prairie”,”1776″,”King of Kings”, and other such shows. I was once a huge heavy metal music fan with hundreds of albums-but I gave up all but two bands in 1991,and stopped listening to the radio that same year, and I gave up rock music entirely two years ago, listening now to Liberace, Rossini, Handel, Mozart, Chopin, and others-I own a CD player and over 500 classics on 62 CD’s. I eat sitting on a pillow on the floor-and my diet is very strict: pasta and rice and fresh fruits and vegetables, many of which I grew myself-my diet also includes eggs from my hens, and some dairy products such heavy cream (but no mass produced milk), milk and ice cream from local farms, and soybean based meat substitutes from the “Seventh Day Adventist Church”, snacks include fresh fruit, dried fruit, nuts, pretzels, chips from a local potato farm, “natural” candies made without preservatives, and homemade candy from a local confectioner. I drink water, green tea, herb tea, and 100% fruit juice.

For my gardening, I hand plow my field with a spade shovel and my hens and roosters do their part digging and scratching as fast as they can, I fertilize the ground with poultry manure and raked leaves, and when insects or weeds become a problem, I turn my roosters and hens lose in the garden, and pray they don’t eat the harvest, too.

I am often asked what I do for “entertainment” well, I leave a mile from Old Orchard’s seven-mile long white sands beach. For entertainment I walk to the beach, walk the length of the beach, turn around walk back to the beginning of the beach and than walk back home with four tote bags filled with shells, beach glass, beach pebbles, and seaweed, and a camera loaded with pictures of birds. My land boarders a 26-acre section of the Ross Forest, which is loaded with wildlife, plants, and has a small brook running the length of it. Here is where I take my dog Buddy and my rooster Chup-Chup for walks. The thing that entertains me the most is sitting beside the brook on a rock in my flower garden surrounded by my tiny bantam roosters, who happily cultivate the roots of my roses. Here I can read, write, and meditate. To me this is heaven, sheer bliss, and pure joy-there is nothing that makes me happier, than breathing the fresh air and listening to the babbling brook and the songs of a hundred roosters all crowing their shrieks of joy for hours on end-I have no need for anything more.

Don’t go thinking that I live on some big isolated country homestead in the middle of nowhere. Our land is only 3/4 of an acre and has four condominiums and a nursing home just across the street, right in the middle of town. I am quite fortunate to live next door to an empty 26-acre wooded lot (the last remaining section of Ross Forest), which, has been preserved, for use by a local campground. While more land would certainly be better in the since that I could have a larger garden and hundreds more roosters, it would be almost impossible to find another place walking distance from such a beautiful beach, a wonderful forest, and have a brook too. The land may be small, but it is my peace of heaven, a perfect paradise for me and my roosters.

While my way of life is the ideal paradise for me, my town thinks otherwise. My roosters live on my land, were the zoning says they can’t, however the zoning laws were made in the 1900’s,and this land has been in my family since the 1600’s. My Native American and Scottish ancestors raised chickens on this land since the very first day they settled it all those years ago, and since that day, never has a day gone by that chickens have not lived here. In the 1800’s huge barns were built for thousands of chickens-a barn for egg hens and a barn for meat roosters; in the 1960’s the barns came down and the meat production stopped; in the 1980’s I took over the chickens, egg sale ended and the pit fighter and rare breed rescue began; but in all of those hundreds of years, not once did chickens not live here. That is what they call the “grandfather law”, as long as the original family remains on the land and raises the original kinds of animals there, the government cannot tell them not to raise the livestock. The neighbors can complain of the “horrendous noise, the vile shrieks and eerie screams” of the crowing roosters sun rise to sunset to sun rise 24 hours a day, they can complain of the “toxic stench” of the manure, but no matter how hard or how long they complain the fact is the roosters were here first, and they have been here for 400 years, and as long as my family continues to lives here and raises poultry there isn’t a thing that they can do. The town hopes and prays that we will sell out and leave to “someplace in the country”. What?! And leave this sacred beach-the sacred holy ground of my people-were thousands gather each year to be healed in its sacred waters? Never! Small though it may be, crowed though the town becomes, I love my home and the land that the Great Spirit blessed us with.

Well now, enough ramblings from me. What about you? How much are you willing to give up to walk the path of a Witch? Your bed? Your TV? Eating meat? Wearing pants and short skirts? Can you stop shaving and wearing makeup? Are there things that you can give up in your life that I haven’t mentioned? How much are you willing to leave behind on your road to becoming a Witch? Now, as you can see from my own life, giving things up is a hard sacrifice that may take several years to complete. I found that by giving up the hardest thing first, that other sacrifices come easier. For me, I love chicken; it was my favorite meal, yet I love chickens too. My best friends have always been my chickens-I had thought about giving up meat, but it didn’t stick. Than one day a man came to the house saying his wife wanted to make chicken stew and asked to buy a chicken. My dad sent him out to take his pick, and I being a poultry farmer thought nothing of it–until that night when my little pet rooster wasn’t there to meet me at the door and by that time it was to late to do anything about it. That’s when it hit me, and it hit me hard–that man had murdered and eaten my best friend. It’s like if you had a little pet cat and one day someone came along and killed it for its fur. He was my pet. More than that, he was my friend, and he was gone. I thought about it long and hard. That rooster was my best friend-and someone bought him and killed him for food. He wasn’t even kept with the other roosters; he wasn’t like the other roosters–he was my pet. And than it hit me: Why was that rooster any different from the others? Why was it wrong to kill this rooster, but okay to kill the others? He was a rooster; just like the rest of them-they were all roosters. I sat there and took a good long look at those roosters-they looked just like my pet rooster, they acted like him, and for good reason too–they were just like him. The man came back a few days later, just as he often did, and needless to say he left empty handed, and never came back again–and neither did anyone else who came looking to by meat birds. A few days later when some frozen “store bought” chicken was being served–my favorite food–something happened to me. I looked at that chicken on my plate and I couldn’t eat it. All I could think about was-this wasn’t one of my chickens from my farm, it came from some other farm, but it was still a chicken. I thought about my rooster and how this could have been his cousin or his mother or father–and I was so sick at the thought that I refused to eat. I couldn’t, I felt like I was a murderer, I felt like I was betraying that rooster who had been my friend. I haven’t touched chicken since–I can’t even see one at the store without getting sick. But at that point it was just chicken and turkey. I didn’t eat chicken and I didn’t eat turkey–I won’t eat anything that might have been related to one of my friends. So for Thanksgiving that year we had roast beef–you know the big one’s, the kind that’s got a big bone down the middle. We were all getting ready to eat and I just sat there staring at that bone. A piece of a skeleton. I don’t know where I thought meat came from but I never connected it with a living creature before that day. There it was-a bone. That could only mean one thing–that that was a dead body–only dead bodies have bones. I felt like a grave robber. There was a piece of a dead body sitting on the table!! I felt so sick I couldn’t eat. At that point I didn’t realize that beef came from cow and that that was a cow’s leg sitting on the table, all I could think was “There a dead body on the table and we’re getting ready to eat it”. I stopped eating meat “cold turkey” and never looked back. Now I won’t by any product without first reading the label and being sure that no meat contaminated it in any way. As a result of this I came to the shocking discovery that it is nearly impossible to find any prepackaged food that does not contain meat! Seemingly “vegetarian” things often have such things as Tallow, Fat, Lard, Broth, Dehydrated Chicken Powder, and By Products listed in them (including such things as crème filled chocolate sandwich cookies, jello, crackers, chocolates, candy, some” plain cheese” pizzas, and even some ice cream!!). I am very careful not to touch anything or be other contaminated by any food that contains any part of any body that was once alive being–this means that shopping take’s several hours while I read entire labels to ensure that no death has contaminated it. I believe it to be a grave sin to steal someone’s life away, just to satisfy the vain lust of eating his or her flesh.

And so that is how I came about my first sacrifice of a luxury. Not having a driver’ license or a car is perhaps the hardest one for me–the one that temps me the most–of course I never learned to drive either, so although it’s a sorrowful temptation, I couldn’t drive anyone else’s car either, because I haven’t the slightest idea how one should go about it. The one that took the longest for me to give up was heavy metal and punk music–I struggled with that one for over ten years before I succeeded–I was never without music–slept with it on at night–listened to it on headphones all day long (I never took them off!). I had rock music playing 24 hours a day. It got to the point were I couldn’t do anything, everything evolved around how long my tapes were. After a while I started to get depressed all the time, and I couldn’t understand why. I realized one day, that I had a problem, a really big problem–I was addicted to music–not just a little addiction–a big addiction–and it was controlling my entire life. One day I was feeling really blue when I noticed the words to the song I was playing–How depressing I thought. I loved the music–the screeching guitars and booming drum, but I never really listened to the words. I started listening and than it hit me–all of these songs were either very depressing and sad or mean and violent–no one was ever happy and joyful. So I made major changes–I got rid of them, most of them: Guns and Roses, Motley Crew, Warrant, etc (If it was heavy metal from the eighties, I probably had it). I left in my collection only a few namely: David Bowie, Bon Jovi, Poison, White Lion, Carman, and Alice Cooper–and today David Bowie, Carman, and Bon Jovi alone remain in my collection, because they were the only three that ever sounded happy. However, getting rid of the collection and hiding my radio, didn’t end the addiction-I was going crazy-I needed music, I felt like I was gonna die if I didn’t have music. Than one day I was watching some old Bugs Bunny cartoons (I love the Looney Toons- -especially- -that’s right, you guessed it: Foghorn Leghorn the smart mouthed rooster). I’m sitting there watching as they play reruns of Bug Bunny’s spins of opera–you know Bugs as Leopold with the guy’s singing Rossini’s “Figero’s C—-”, Bugs and Elmer fighting in the barber’s shop will “The Barber of Seville” plays in the background, and who can forget Elmer Fudd the Viking singing “Kill the Rabbit” in tune to Wagner’s “Ring of N—-Ride of the Valkers”. I was mesmerized–I remembered loving these three Bugs Bunny episodes as a kid. I remembered too, how much I used to love watching “Great Performances” on PBS back in the 1970’s,and how I loved ballet and theater. And especially the story of Peer Gyunt and the Mountain King-the story that had inspired my favorite cartoon the Smurfs, and was played throughout the background of every episode, how whenever I heard “The Mountain King” I used to go twilling and dancing free as a bird, not caring who saw me. Suddenly I realized why I had liked Heavy Metal so much-it was the loud, boisterous, booming noise–I didn’t like heavy metal, I liked classical music, heavy metal was merely a substitute for what I really truly loved–screeching violins, banging cymbals, blatting horns, happy tinkling pianos, and lots of big booming drums. Well, that was two years ago–and during that time David Bowie and Bon Jovi have had three new albums come out and I wasn’t even the least bit tempted to buy a one of them (and I used to wait in line to be the first one in the store on the first day of the release of any Bowie album-I own 57 Bowie albums alone). So, while I’m still badly addicted to music and it still plays all day and all night, I’m no longer depressed and spend my time happy and joyful now. I keep my David Bowie and Bon Jovi and Carman albums and maybe I’ll listen to them again someday, but just knowing that I have them and I’m no longer tempted to play them all day long is a reward in itself, as I realize now that I was a slave to music.

So what are you addicted to? Does it stop you from doing other things you’d like to do? Can you give it up? One of the things that Witches believe is, simplicity and freedom–freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and freedom from slavery. Now by freedom of slavery I don’t mean a bondman’s slavery with chains and whips and taskmasters-I mean slavery to vanity, slavery to addiction, slavery to wealth, slavery to power–if you are not free from these slaveries than you are no better than bondman-for you are chained to your whip wielding taskmasters just as much as he-chained to them-chained to addictions and vanities. To be a Witch you must one by one break free from the chains of luxuries and now–now granted you don’t have to give everything up all at once–some Witches do, but most give up one thing this year and another the next and keep on going. The goal is to reach perfection, to strive to become more like our Creator. A difficult task yes, but one well worth the effort. Reaching spiritual perfection is the reason behind everything that a Witch does-the strange clothing, the chants, the prayers, the spells, everything–everything is done with one goal in mind–to become like the Creator–to live in the spirit world with our Creator–to make this world as much like our spirit home was before we came here. As a Witch that is your purpose that is your goal and you must never forget it–no matter how different the practices, rituals, and spell of each Witch may be–all Witches regardless of religion–strive for the spiritual perfection that will make us at one with our Creator.

And now, you decide: Are you ready to become a Witch? Do you have what it takes? Are you willing to make great sacrifices for your faith? Will you stand firm and strong year after year? Are you a Witch?

Government Corruption: Town’s Harasment of Disabled Senior Goes Too Far!

February 26, 2007

My name is Wendy Allen. I am writing to you on behalf of my father, Kenneth Allen of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Our family is in desperate need of help. In the past year we have tried without success to get help locally, but now the deadline is less than a week away and we do not know what to do or who to turn too for help. Since this is a long and complicated ordeal, I well start at the beginning.First off, I should tell you that we are fighting the local government, the officials of the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, for the following charges:Discrimination against a disabled senior. A seniors rights being taken away from him.Repeated harassment, and discriminatory attempts to force a low income family off their land, resulting in the year long hospitalization of already mentioned senior and resulting in his becoming disabled.Threat of the destruction of property, including the threat of tearing down the home of aforementioned senior and his minor children and their pets.Forcing the senior and his minor children out of their home and onto the streets where they lived for much of 2006 in a “tent” constructed out of shipping pallets and a tarp, where they lived in the elements of Maine’s harsh winter, some days suffering at below zero temperatures.The threat of having all our belongings destroyed.The reason the town official Ken Shoup gave for this harassment was quote:“This is Old Orchard, you have to change you lifestyle.”End quote. No other reason has been given.Now, for our story and how this train of events came to be:First off, our family has a long history with the Town of Old Orchard, due to the fact that our family settled this town more than 300 years ago. Our family has lived on the properties here in since 1657. Originally there were several hundred acres on our land, both forest and farmland, but as the centuries went by the land was divided among relatives and passed on in increasingly smaller sections from one generation to the next. As the town grew and the land became more valuable, relatives sold out and moved away. By the 1940’s ours was the last to remain in the original family, a small lot less than an acre in size. Not only was it the last to remain in the original family, but it was also the last farm in Old Orchard Beach.It should be noted that property in Old Orchard is valued in the millions due to it being one of the world’s top rated award-winning beaches, and there in lies the root of our problem. Our farm has been accused of decreasing the property values. By the 1980’s Old Orchard became known as the hang out for biker gangs, honky-tonks, and strip shops. Property values dropped as the family image of the town plummeted. In the 1990’s, things changed once again, the gangs were driven out, the honky-tonks and bars shut down, and the strip shops became restaurants and art galleries. Property taxes sky-rocketed to the second highest in the state as millionaire mansions and high rise condos reconstructed the sky-line, forever blocking out the view of the beach from the roads.Old Orchard beach town officials, spent millions putting in brick sidewalks, Victorian street lamps, and building a replica of the town hall that had stood here in the 1800’s…. their campaign was to create a “historical town” to draw in high income tourists. The campaign was wildly advertised, and well promoted… until the new town manager and his new staff showed their true colors, that is and their campaign turned to harassing long time locals off of their land.  Several families have been driven out already. Most unable and unwilling to fight the local government as the threats of propety destruction, and the removal of personal belongings (including pets) has scared most of the “offending families” into selling thier land and moving. There are only a handful of families that have stood thier ground, but those too are leaving. Ours is one of the last to remain, still standing our round, and refusing to give in to the threats made by local police officers, local code enforcement officers, and the town manager himself. In the past year they have changed (without proper votes from the people) nearly every code on the book in an attempt to force these families off thier land. Changes in code include such things as “banning the growing of vegetation”, “painting your house”,  “owning more than one car per family”, and other ridiculous town laws, that now prohibit such things as growing a garrden. It is like living in a strict gated community, only it is the entire town.On the outskirts of the town, one finds the beautiful rolling acres of Ross Forest, once a candidate to become a national park, most of it now clear cut, and what little remains is soon to be sold for housing complexes, many already under construction. Dividing the Ross Forest from the down town district, lay the remains of a few scattered farms, no longer in use. Except for one: ours. At one time a large full production poultry farm, today the home of pet farm animals, but still very much an active farm, small as it is.

The harassment of our  family began in the fall of 2005 after an unknown person, wrote an editorial to the local newspapers, saying, “Four homes on Portland Avenue were distracting from the value of other properties in the town”. The writer continued saying that something should be done about it, that these four homes “should be torn down”, and the families should be forced to move out of town to make way for the new generation. Two of those four homes mentioned, as it turns out, were 144 Portland Ave and 146 Portland Ave.

At 144 Portland Avenue there lives my elderly dad Kenneth Allen, myself, and my three brothers (all under 16 years of age). As you may guess, our dad was much, much older than our mother, explaining how a senior came to have young children. In 1983, my dad’s mother died and he inherited her house at 146 Portland Ave. The tiny 16 foot by 9-foot house, which never had plumbing, etc. Was turned into a shed, but even so, the town has continued to tax it as a house. Since October of 2001 (six years ago) we have been applying for a permit to repair this building, and turn it into a greenhouse so we can extend our growing season, but the town STILL has that on a waiting list.

We continued to live in the old 700 square foot house, more of a cabin than a house by the town’s standards anyways. My dad was a newspaper carrier for 21 years, our family income was under $20,000 a year, so we were never able to afford much, but we never noticed, because we were happy. Our family was living together, we had our pets with us, and we lived on our farm. That we lacked a “normal income” or a “normal lifestyle” (as the town officials now put it) never occurred to us.

Than in spring of 2006, there came the letters from the town. One after another. Demands to “remove the junk and debris” or else. As it turns out, what they were calling junk and debris, was as follows:

Our car, which though they consider it “junk” still runs in spit of what it looks like, and we use it daily.

Our fire wood (we have a woodstove for heat, cause we can‘t afford anything else.)

My dad’s tools (he was a car mechanic in the 1970’s, and still works on his own car and cars of relatives)

Our brooder (used for raising baby chickens each spring)

My dad’s antique cast iron wood stove collection

Our garden (bean poles, pea fences, etc… they say we can’t have a garden any more either)

Our washing machine (a 1947 wringer, which we use weekly)

Our farming equipment (tiller, ATV, etc…. all used on a regular basis)

In other words, what they are calling “trash”, “junk”, and “debris” are actually things we use every day, things we need in order to survive… without them we can not garden, if we can not garden we can not eat, because we can not afford to buy enough food to eat more than one meal a day per person, without the garden we well starve to death, without the farm equipment we can not garden, they are trying to kill us… this is not a figure of speech… as you shall soon understand.

My dad explained to the town that this stuff is not junk but our livelihood. The town responded by attaching a lean/fine on our property, for “refusal to comply with orders“. I’m not sure how much the amount is unto today, but it was much more than we could afford than, and more so now.

My dad made an attempt to move the items so that they could not be seen from the road, in an attempt to comply with the town’s orders, hoping that if the items could not be seen from the road, that it would stop the harassment by the town… this was the biggest mistake he could have made, because as a result, a few days later on May 9, 2006, he went into a coma.

May 9, 2006 started like any other day. I woke up and went out to feed the chickens, work in the garden, and than help my dad move items out of view of the street. My dad had not yet gotten up. I had been in the yard barely 20 minutes when my 15 year old brother  came running across the yard in a panic… something was wrong, I could see it on his face, and I ran to meet him… he told me that something was wrong with daddy… daddy had woken up and torn the wood stove out of the wall tearing with it all of the water pipes… and now the house was under water, while daddy was throwing everything from the toilet to the tables to shelves to files all over the house. By the time I arrived in the house there was 8 inches of water on the floor, and nothing left of anything… everything in the house was totally destroyed, there was not only nothing left on shelves, there were no longer any shelves. It looked like a tornado had gone through the house. The house was barely recognizable.

My smaller brothers  had run into the bedroom to hide, terrified at the event that was unfolding, while daddy was now in an attempt at tearing out the windows. When I asked him what he was doing, he did not recognize me, he could not hear me, he could not see me… it was like he had turned into a blind man and was tearing at the walls in an attempt to see… I rushed to the neighbor who called an ambulance.

The ambulance arrived, and talk of nervous breakdown and meningitis, were scatted around the conversations… the emergency team was in attempt of asking me what happened, when I was pulled away by a police officer named Jack Nichols, who proceeded to interrogate me about the condition of our house.

The wood stove was laying in pieces in the center of the dinning room, and this was his main focus…

repeating the same question again and again: “How long has this been laying here?” he demanded. I told him, it had just happened, he accused me of lying, and repeated the question…. over and over again, and I kept explaining to him, that daddy had just done this, which was why we had called 911. Than he turned his questions to the piles of paper and mail that scattered the house… “What’s all this clutter?” he yelled. Again I explained that this had just happened, that it was stuff that had been on the shelves and table, but as before, he accused me of lying and repeated the question again and again, his voice growing more heated and temperamental each time. Than in a menacing voice he turned on my three little brothers “Why aren’t these children in school?”. I explained that we home schooled, and we had approval from the town’s superintendent. Next he railed me out about how children can’t live in “clutter and filth” like this… again I explained that this “clutter and filth” as he called it, had just happened moments ago, and it was because this had happened that we had called for his help. He responded by calling the Department of Human Services to take my brothers away, and than calling the town code enforcement officer to condemn the house on grounds of “clutter and filth”.

While all this was happening the ambulance had taken my dad away, to where they had taken him I did not know, because Jack Nichols had not given me a chance to even know what had happened to my dad. More police, this time with cameras, stormed into the house, none of them would tell me what they were doing, why they were there, or what had happened to my dad. In the mean time my mom and her husband arrived, and my brothers and me packed a few things so we could move in with her while we figured out what to do next. We tried to pack what little we could find that hadn’t been destroyed by the flood, and do it around police officers who seemed to be going through everything in the house for no reason at all, and who refused to talk to me or even acknowledge that I was there. Luckily the hospital called us during this time and told us where my dad was, but they would not discuss his condition over the phone. It was four hours before the police would let us leave to find out what happened to my dad. A friend, who had witnessed the police searching the house with their cameras, said that he thought it looked like a drug raid, and he suggested that we get copies of the police report to find out why they were going through the house like that. I told my dad this after he came out of the hospital and he went to the station to get copies of the report, but they refused to give them to him without a court order, so we have been unable to obtain any info as to why the police were going through everything like that.

It was a lesson well learned. We called the police for help and they turned on us like rabid wolves. I well never call 911 again.

Once at the hospital I was told that what we had just witnessed was a diabetic seizure, brought on by extreme amounts of stress. The doctor asked if my dad had any recent stress… yes, he had, with the town harassing him the past couple of weeks, and than the police harassing him even during a medical emergency, nearly hindering the emergency teams ability to get him to the hospital. Dr. Greene than explained that it was luckily he had gotten to the hospital when he did “another 20 minutes and he’d have been dead” is what he said. I shudder to think that the town police and their obsession with throwing us off our land nearly resulted in my dad’s death. Dr. Greene went on to explain that my dad was now in a diabetic coma on full life support. Wither or not he would live was not yet known

As days, turned to weeks, my dad remained in a coma, his system getting weaker by the minute, at one point his kidneys failed him and he had to be rushed in for dialysis.

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My dad remained in Southern Maine Medical Center in a diabetic coma on full life support for 21 days. In mid-June they moved him, wheelchair bound, from SMMC to New England Rehab Center in Portland. On June 29, 2006, my dad came home, unable to walk on his own, and saw for the first time what had become of our house. Just three days after my dad went into the hospital our electricity was shut off. The town claims they had nothing to do with it when I asked them. Without electricity, there was no light, and thus no way to see to clean the mess from the flood, and so, it remained just as it had been left on that day in May.

My dad, was now severely disabled, only able to walk a few feet at a time and unable to lift anything. The stress caused by the town’s harassment had left him with a weak heart and failing kidney’s, but the harassment had only just begun, for almost as soon as he was out of the hospital, the town once again began its relentless pursuit to remove us from our land. Land that for us means our heritage, our history, our legacy, but land that for the town, means nothing but dollar signs and profit margins.

Due to the months of the house sitting filled with water, we could not go back in to live in it. Having no family or relatives willing to help us, we were forced to camp out in the yard. We signed up for various shelter foundations and were put on their waiting lists. At HUD we were informed that we were #600 on the list.

Problems had gotten worse than I had known… for my dad was now disabled and could not go to work, thus I started my long and fruitless search for a job, which is today still ongoing. During his hospitalization, no bills had been paid, and about 10 or so years ago my dad had taken out a mortgage on the house… there has been no money since May of 2006 (nearly a year now), and thus no mortgage payments since that time either, they are now threatening to foreclose, but know the situation and are trying to work out a payment plan with my dad, in hopes that his disability check well eventually be approved by the state (he is still waiting to hear from the state on that… they sure do take a long time. They said it well is approved, they just have to wait for the paperwork to go through, so there should be some type of an income soon, we hope.)

With no income, and a house that we can not live in, my dad lived in his car, my brothers now liveing with our mom and her husband, and I built a house-tent-lean-to type of thing out of 12 shipping pallets, 3 cinderblocks, and a tarp. We had asked the town if we could put up a yurt (not hard to build as our land boarders a forest) until we could get a house back up, but they told us no, only tents were allowed, but we couldn’t afford to buy a real tent, so I built one instead.

Letters from the town continued to arrive. We continued to visit the town hall where we got the run around… “Come back in the morning, he’s only here in the mornings.”…Next day: “I’m sorry, did I say mornings? No, you’ll have to come in the afternoon.”… Day after day after day… week after week after week… “He’s out sick today”… “He’s on vacation this week.”… “He’s out on an inspection today.”… Weeks became months and STILL we had yet to meet the man behind the letters: Ken Shoupe. Though we went to his office almost daily, we would not meet him until November of 2006.

In July my dad had to have surgery, and was bed-ridden or rather car-ridden, as he had no bed, for several weeks afterwards. For food we get a bag a month from the Salvation Army (the only place that made an attempt to help us, little as it was) and each month we stretch that single bag of food as much as we possible can to make it last the entire month, but that often means we are limited to one very small meal a day (sometimes less). The State only allows us $13 a month for food stamps, and we aren’t eligible for TANF or welfare because we own our land.

We went to our church for help, but than there isn’t much they can do, you see, our town manager, the man giving the orders to Ken Shoop, is a “leading member” of the church, and others involved in the letters, such as the secretary who mails them out, also go to our church. The bishop tries to help when he can, but, in the end all he was able to do was get our electricity turned back on, but for that there was a catch: The town was going to let us remove our belongings from the house, before they tore it down. So, with the electricity back on, and this new threat hanging over our heads, me and my 3 brothers, built a second tent next to the first one, and began to move what we could salvage out of the house and into the second tent. Everything we own now sits outside, damp and wet, under a tarp, buried in snow.

Such threats and happenings have been going on now ever since my dad came home from the hospital, and the stress has made his recovery almost impossible, and thus he remains weekly, sometimes daily, in and out of doctor’s offices and hospitals with increasingly failing health, and every day his doctors tell him: “You have got to get the stress out of your life before it kills you.”

And now I shall skip ahead to where we are at today and why I am writing to you:

In December, with below zero temperatures and snow burying the “tent”, a woman from the Department of Human Services showed up at our land, explaining that someone had filed a complaint, because there was a family living outdoors during Maine’s harsh sub-zero winter. We have been on waiting lists for shelter since this had happened, but we are such a large family: 5 people, plus cats, dogs, and farm animals, there is no one who would take us, we had no choice but to sit out Maine’s winter and try to keep the tarp from collapsing on our heads under the weight of the snow. She was furious, at the Town Officials, for she had attempted to contact them first and was given the same “run around” that we had been given. She told them that if they were going to force us out of our home than they should at least pay for a hotel room (Old Orchard Beach has over 300 hotels, motels, cabins, camp grounds and condos.) She said that they had told her off. She is the one who said that what was happening here was not legal, that it was harassment, and that it was bordering on criminal. It seems that if one of us had died from the cold, the town could be charged with murder, we did not realize this. Before the DHS came in, we didn’t know that what was happening was illegal, we didn’t know that we had the right to fight the town. She gave us the phone number of Pine Tree Legal, Maine’s free lawyer group. We called. And called again. And keep calling, but can’t get past the operator, who says our name is on a waiting list.

This woman from DHS was the very first person to make any attempt to really and truly help us, with her help we went from #600 on HUD’s waiting list to #1 and on January 10, 2007, after nine months of homelessness, me and my dad were allowed to move into a temporary apartment in Biddeford, while HUD, AVESTA, and CALEB Foundation, try to find a place that well take both us and my 3 brothers, and our pets… a wait that we are told could take as many as 8 years! Unfortunately the apartment is tiny beyond belief and so everything we own is still back at home in the 2 “tents”.

We thought things were looking up at this point. We should have known that the town officials would not allow us to be happy for a single moment. Following the news that we are in an apartment the town has moved on to a new level of harassment: This week, we received a letter from the town, saying that we have until February 12 (just 3 days from now) to remove EVERYTHING from our land (including not only the things they had listed before but also the 2 tents, our house, the sheds, and the barns), after which time they well come in and level the land. They came to the land and told us that they wanted a totally empty lot… nothing, apparently not even the trees. They are complaining that the tents are an eyesore… the tents that THEY told us we had to put up to store our belongings in, because back than they were threatening to tear down the house. Among the items in the tent is my book collection, some 7,000 books that I have been collecting over the years; antiques that had belonged to my great-grandmother, and

grandmothers; and other such items. Everything we own, now stands to be stolen from us, by the town officials, and why? We asked Shoop why he was doing this to us, he said: “This is Old Orchard, you have to change you lifestyle.”

We know this is Old Orchard! Unlike outsiders like him, our family has been here on this land since 1657. My dad’s family built this town. Of course we know its Old Orchard. What kind of a reason is that to force a family off their land? We have 3 days to stop them, and no one well helps us. It seems like the whole town has turned on us. People who we once called friends now seem to be strangers.

Today this caper of harasment has taken on a new level… they are now threaten to take our animals away, based on false accusations made by one named Morin. They say they well take them in 5 days from today, but they have no grounds to take them, and as with everything else they have done, they have no court order to back themselves up with.

We have gone to everyone we can pleading, begging for help, but no one is willing to help us. Every church, every charity… even the volunteer lawyers, but Old Orchard Beach is Maine’s biggest tourist attraction, a town that draws in millions of tourist each summer, tourists who bring with them, money that makes Old Orchard one of Maine’s wealthiest towns, and because of that no one well help us fight them. We are told to give up, to just move… we are told that we can’t fight the Town of Old Orchard because it’s one of Maine’s most powerful government seats. But that doesn’t give them the right to steal our belongings! That doesn’t give them the right to steal our land! That doesn’t give them the right to force us to live in a tent during the winter! How can they just come in and level our land? They don’t even have any court orders to back themselves up with! What they are doing is not legal, but no one well do anything to stop them! They well not break us into losing, but if this doesn’t stop, they well kill my dad. This has to stop. They have too far. Please, there must be someway someone can help us! If you know of anyone who may be able to help us, please let us know!

Our Mailing address is still the same as it was before the apartment:

Kenneth R. Allen

Wendy C. Allen

144 Portland Ave

Old Orchard Beach, ME 04064

my email address (my dad don’t have one) xavychup@yahoo.com

edit:

Updates to this post have been made in the following posts:

Government Corruption: Another Update…

An upate on THIS POST.

The latest round of harasment is now a requirerment that we keep a log of each and every time we feed our pets and give them water. The town has required that we keep a logbook hanging at our frontdoor so that the police can come in a check it whenever they deem it “necassary”.

They have also said that we must cut a hole in the wall so that the cats and dogs can go in and out 24 hours a day. These are house pets! They don’t even LIKE going outside! Worse, there is a pack of cyotees and at least one black bear, that rutinely wander about on our land. We can’t have a hole cut in the side of our house! The cyottees well eat my babies! The town laws have  reached the point that they have become Communistic. This is insane! How can they pass laws like this?

They are also requiring that all cars be in a garage. They say that we can not have more than one car, and that if we own more than one car they can fine us $2,500 for each day that we have more than one car in our yard and not in a garage! How can they get away with this? Old Orchard Beach is a town not a dynasty! What is wrong with them? How do these laws get passed?

Well, a result of these latest harasements is that my dad has had yet another stress overload, and has to go in for surgery yet again, tomorrow morning as a result.

What they are doing to us is not right.

~~EK

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Not Homeless Anymore!!! WOO~HOO!!!!

Every day has something good about it. No matter how much the day sucked or how mant bad things happened… at least one good thing happened somewhere, somehow, and it happened to you.So, what was it?  

today’s good thing:We have been approved for an apartment by HUD, FINALLY!!!!! We have been living in a tent since May 2006, it took them until January 2007 to get us indoors again, and only because someone called DHS to complain that people should not be living in a tent in below zero temperatures… well, I agree, but since the flood/fire we had no choice, I don’t make enough money to pay rent, let alone build a new house, no family or friends would help us and of all the charities and churches and such (even Red Cross!) the only place that has done anything to help us since last May was the Salvation Army, who gave us a bag of food each month…. a bag of food a month, can’t feed a family of 5, nor does it help us get indoors again, what else was we supposed to do? The tent was our only option. Well, DHS was furious that even our town manager (who we also went to for help) had done nothing, so now DHS is on the asses of the Town officials from Old Orchard Beach, because they are the ones that wouldn’t let us back in the house, and told us that if we intended to stay on our own land the only thing the town would approve was a tent… well DHS contacted HUD, where we were on a waiting list with over 600 names ahead of us, and they moved us up to the #1 slot and now as of today we have a roof over our heads, phone, and electricity for the first time since May of 2006!

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Maine… Why I Love It Here…

I feel like talking about Maine today…

I love Moxie

I love the Thunder Hole

I love Longfellow’s House

I love Stephen King

I love blueberries

I love lobster

I love moose

I love chickadees

I love great white pines

I love The Pier

I love Rapid Ray’s

I love Pier Fries

I love Bill’s Pizza

I love Palace Playland

I love East Surf Drive

I don’t love King Realty

I’m going to miss the Dream Machine (

I love Maine!!!!!!

test 12

black birdfall leaves centerblack bird

What’s your take on this? I’d love to hear what you have to say about this post. Leave a comment and share your views!

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Blingo

Shop the Star Trek Store Today!
Your Favorite Characters Are At CartoonNetworkShop.com!