Men – What Are Your Biggest Questions About Women?
Posted by ModelElaine • 15 days ago • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] •
Topics: Dating, MEN, women
Now before I continue I must point out that by merely posing a question in the hopes of having a woman answer, I am in fact asking a question about women. However, you might say I am going about it from a roundabout way that is seemingly superfluous, yet as I think many men may agree this question is actually quite fundamental.
At what point is a man an asset or a liability in a relationship? i.e. If a man is over forty and lives on a fixed income, if a man is thirty and works two jobs, or if a thirty something man has a six figure income, which of the three is the asset, liability, or plain out of luck when it comes to finding a meaningful relationship.
Which of the three is the asset, liability, or plain out of luck when it comes to finding a meaningful relationship.
That’s actually quite an interesting question. It focuses on age and money, two things which have effected my own relationship with my SO, whom I have been with for 23 years now.
My SO is 30 years older than me, and when we meet, unknown to me at the time, had a rather abnormally high income. This in turn caused problems when his friends meet me for the first time, after several years of his keeping our relationship a secret.
He had a business meeting one Sunday, and on his suggestion, I went with him. (We had been together 15 years at that point.) I waited in the hallway with a few of his friends whom I had just been introduced to, this being the first time I met his friends, and this also being the first time his friends found out about me. He had assumed that we would talk and get on fine during his 2 hour long meeting. They all knew each other, but I knew none of them.
Well, for starters they assumed I was a teenager (I was 27 at the time) and right off the bat one of the men gave me hell about how young (he thought) I was. His wife joined in, saying my SO was a pedophile and telling me I should call the police. They made such a big issue about it that I finally had to pull out my identification to prove I was over 18 years old!
But than, once they finally believed I really was nearing my 30th birthday, they started in on money. My SO had never mentioned work or money, not once in the 15 years we were together. It was an agreement we had right from day one – he would never talk about it and I would never ask. He always had enough money, but he never spent much money, so the fact that he had as much money as he did have, blew me away when I found out about it, and I found out about it, through these people, who told me straight to my face that I was “a gold digger”, a “grave robber”, and “wanted nothing more than to be a rich young widow”.
Well, that all happened 7 years ago. I’m still with my (now elderly) SO, and this is much to the surprise of those friends of his, seeing how he, shortly after that day, lost all of his money and now lives on an almost non-existent income. There was a space of 3 years of homelessness and living under a tarp on the streets. I never left him and I’m still with him today.
My answer to their questioning why I am still with him: I love him. Plain and simple. Our relationship was always based on friendship. I was with him 3 years before he told me his age. Age was never important to me, we spend time together, talk about everything under the sun together, we enjoy each other’s company. I was with him 15 years before I found out how much money he made. Money was never important to me either. And for people who say – “Oh it must be the sex” – no, because, he’s a high priest, thus why our relationship was keep a secret for so many years.
And so to answer your question:
If a man is over forty and lives on a fixed income = asset
Why? His priorities are going to be closer to home. Younger men are always on the look out for “something better”, older men are more ready to settle down. A fixed income may be lower, be it retirement or disability or SSI, but with a fixed income you are going to be wiser, and not go around racking up debts.
If a man is thirty and works two jobs = plain out of luck
Why? Two jobs = no time for family. Why should I waste my time marrying a man who is never going to have time to spend with me?
If a thirty something man has a six figure income =liability
Why? Because this man is going to be putting money first and family last. I’ve known two men who fit this, and both spent all of their time worrying about the “image” – had to get a bigger house, a flashier car, couldn’t be seen eating at places like McDonald’s, had to always eat at the most expensive restaurant – why? Because he said “that’s what people expect me to do.” When a man like this is faced with a Great Depression, he’ll be the first in line to blow his brains out.
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